Thank you Vonnie, it’s good to know you’re thinking of me.
X C
Hi chris
Just wanted to say I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Ian birthday was April and it was a truly awful feeling him not being here you will get through it but it is so hard hope you have as ok a day as you can manage. I have been really struggling as have my children this last week now they are dreading fathers day without their dad the hurdles never stop they just keep coming at you horrific journey we are all on sending you my love Laura xxx
Hi Laura
I know what you mean about Father’s Day. It’s everywhere. Apparently there are 3 million children without Dads. Never realised there were that many. There are also the fathers who don’t get to see their children, so it’s a painful day for lots of people.
We were hoping to have the plaque laid at the cemetery by then but it looks as though it will be the end of June now. We will still visit though and remember how lucky we were to have Geoff in our lives.
I’ll be thinking of Chris too tomorrow. It’s a difficult day. I wish her strength and peace.
Yvonne
Hi yvonne
I lost my father 3 yrs past at Xmas and have always dreaded fathers day but I never thought for one minute my children would lose their father at such a young age but like you say this is a sad day for so many like you we will visit the cemetry and be so grateful for the years Ian was a wonderful father Laura xxx
Hi chris
Hope you have managed to get through today been thinking of you Laura xxxx
Thanks Laura, I tried to fill the day. I went on the bus to York, which is about an hour and then joined a guided walk and then went to friends for a meal. They are very good friends and talked about Paul and some funny times we had.
I’m now home and all is very empty.
It’s good to know you are out there for me,
X Chris
Hi chris
Be really proud of what you have achieved on such a difficult day take care Laura xxx
Hi everyone
Hope you are OK had a really terrible day (everyone must be fed up with me saying that) went for afternoon tea with my daughter had to leave took a panic attack was so bad just had the feeling that I needed to get home got in and the tears would not stop flowing how I hate these feelings really horrible just needed someone to talk to I hate this life we have been given all I can do is hope tomorrow is better thinking of you all sorry for the doom and gloom Laura xxx
Hi Laura
We never know when these feelings will strike. Sorry to hear your afternoon tea was spoilt. Such a shame when you made the effort to go out.I have not been that busy today but suddenly an hour ago I came over really fearful. Never used to be like that before. I just couldn’t shake the feeling. Have switched on the tv now to take my mind off things. Like you say sometimes you just need to ‘talk to someone who understands’.
Hope you’re feeling better now.
Yvonne
Thanks yvonne
I have been so tearful last few days just as you think you are getting on the grief takes you right back like you yvonne I just can’t shake it off such a horrible feeling thanks for your support take care Laura xxx
Thank you Sheila for telling it like it is. It’s so hard keeping up the pretence that everything is ok. I tried to convince myself today that if I just get back to doing things everything be be alright - but of course it won’t. I have three invitations on my shelf for parties. It’s very kind of people to invite me but if I go ( to feel normal again) I know I will be standing there feeling awful because Geoff isn’t with me and like you I will be desparate to get back home.
Just getting through each day is still so tough.
Yvonne
Hi
Of course not fed up hearing about your struggle
It is a place none of us want to be
It’s now 7 weeks since I lost my husband and I think doing quite well today then suddenly the tears start.
How are we meant to cope when our world has stopped
Keep writing we are all here to help each other
Hope tomorrow is better for you
Love June
Thanks everyone for your support means so much to me to hear from people who understand Laura xxx
Hi Yvonne,
I like many others feel just like you I force myself to go out and can’t wait to get home again,one friend lost her husband about the same time as myself and she seems to cope and enjoy herself when I do go out with her but I don’t,is this always going to be like this what a thought and nothing we can do but hope time heals things a bit,who would have thought life would be like this.
Take care,
Brenda
Hi Laura. Sorry to hear you didn’t enjoy the afternoon with your daughter. Everyone is right in what they say it’s sometimes too hard to do those ‘normal’ things we might have done before even if it’s with someone we love.
I describe it as being a spectator in my own life. Experiencing but not feeling anymore. I find socialising hard. Sometimes I just don’t do it. Other times I accept a lunch invitation or go for a coffee but like Sheila, I can’t wait to be home to my sanctuary. It’s so sad as before my husband and I loved to go out together and with friends but I find doing it without him just too hard.
At least we have this site to share how we feel with people who understand. Our experiences with grief are different but our loss binds us together in a way we can’t explain.
Take care everyone and I hope you have a more peaceful afternoon. XX
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Hi Brenda,
One thing I have learned over the last few months is that we are all different and you cope differently to your friend.
I’ve just been to see the hospice counsellor today and she was very reassuring. It is so helpful that she knew Paul while he was a resident.
She told me not to try and do things that cause me painful memories but just do things I can cope with. Going out for meals with friends is too hard for me so I don’t! I’ve found I can cope with strangers better but only in small doses.
Be yourself!
X Chris
Hi just wondered how everyone has been very quiet on forum last few days hope you are all OK Laura xxx
Hi sheila
No wonder your down with all these anniversaries you are facing my children are dreading Sunday and wishing it was Monday they still can’t believe there dad is not here then after that it will be my sons birthday with him having a disability I feel it is hitting him hard Sheila it is so hard to watch your children broken and not able to do anything to make it better just want you to know I am thinking of you and that you have been an amazing help to me over these 6 months Thankyou Sheila so much for your support take care Laura xxx
Hi Everyone
I know the feeling of being down with Fathers Day my Late Mums Birthday and parents wedding anniversary and Monday will be 10 years since my Dad went.
Have tried to keep busy but very weepy this week,
Must admit sunglasses this week to cover red eyes from crying, 7 weeks today since I lost my Brian
Sorry to hear your hay fever has got the better of you.
They say it’s going to rain here so that might help you.
Going out with sister Tom tomorrow as it’s the 2nd year for her since her husband died and I just feel I need to get out
Look after yourselves everyone
June XXX
My wife died suddenly in September last year. She was in hospital being treated for pneumonia. Sepsis set in and she died 30 minutes later. We had been together 24 years and it was 2 weeks before our 20th wedding anniversary. She was my soul mate and life seems empty now.
I know how you feel because time seems to go slowly now. I’ve had counselling and it has taught me that the pain doesn’t go away. It becomes part of you and you learn to hide it from people. The main thing to remember is that your husband is out of pain. That is really only the consolation i have in my grief.