Hi Twilight,
It stands for University of the Third Age. It’s not as serious as it sounds - you don’t have to study for a degree or anything. It is more interest groups, theatre trips, walking groups etc. It is a national organisation and has thousands of members aged about 60 plus .If you google it, you should find more info.
Ann
Hello Ann,
I had another panic attack earlier, I phoned my daughter and she talked me through it. She gave me some phone numbers and suggested I go on line to look at advice about how to cope with them, breathing etc. I’m feeling better now, I managed to get something to eat. I feel very tired, but as you know I never sleep properly. It’s comforting to be in touch with you and everyone, I know I can come on this forum anytime. Thinking of you take care.
Janet xx
Hello Lily
I feel just the same, I put on a brave face at work and behind closed doors I’m in pieces. I no longer look forward to the future, all our plans we had together have now disappeared. I miss my wonderful James so much life’s just not worth it without him.
Diane x
Hi DianeP
I am truly sorry for your loss of your beautiful husband James I think that is what I find so hard is the dreams the plans the time that I feel cheated out of .
My husband was as I’m sure yours was a beautiful man he was so loving he was my best friend my soul mate .
I have to go to work I try so hard to go by day day but like you I just think what’s the point .
I get dizzy spells pains in my body and get so shattered all I’m told are down to grief.
I lost my George in November 26th 2017 I just like you find lost and empty which I could sound move positive sorry please take care thinking of everyone on the forum .
Lily
Hi Janet,
I’m sorry to hear you had another panic attack today - have you seen your GP? I am sure they would be able to help you with this and your sleeping problems. I sympathise with the sleeping problem - I fall asleep but wake up most nights about 3.00 am and can’t get back to sleep again, my mind starts turning everything over and over. It’s exhausting.
Let us know how you are tomorrow.
Ann x
Hi Janet
I sympathise with you, Panic Attacks are so awful. I was having lots of them. The slightest thing would send me off and I couldn’t control them. I was desparate to get my emotions under control especially when I was out in public. The GP just wanted to prescribe anti depressants but I didn’t want to add to my problems. I found a good hypnotherapist who taught me the breathing exercises. She also taught me some to combat the fear, procrastination and waves of sadness that kept washing over me. I was a complete wreck when I first went to see her but now I am able to use the techniques she has shown me whenever I need to and it has really helped.
The thing I’ve found most helpful for sleep is Nytol.
Just know you are not alone in this and that there is help out there. Sending you my best wishes and hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.
Yvonne X
Hello Janet,
This not knowing if we were heard towards the final times of our dear husbands, is so upsetting. I feel just the same and can’t do anything now.
I can only repeat what the hospice staff told me. They are sure that the hearing is the last sensation to leave. I do hope so but my poor Paul couldn’t move or communicate at all .
I too have lost my best friend of 37 years and can’t share anything with anyone else. I never needed to.
I do hope you have a better night , let us know tomorrow , we are here for you,
Love, TillyC
Hi TillyC
I am a nurse I have worked now for 37 years in the nhs and yes the hearing is the last thing to go I used to tell all the family’s that were with there loved one to speak as there loved one would still here them .
When my George was passing I talked to him all the time even though he wasn’t responding at that thinking of you all
Lily
Hi everyone I sympathise with you as I’m in the same boat I can’t sleep at all been to the doctors they won’t help with sleeping tablets they just say we need to tackle the problem I know what the problem is I just lost my husband and nights is a scary time for me being on my own so more or less cope with it is what they saying going to doctors again today will be interesting take care everyone thinking of you all xx
Thank you Ann I will look it up take care of yourself xxxx
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I talked and sang to my husband during the two days he was at the hospice. I told him I loved him over and over. I know a lot of people don’t believe in it but I went to see a pyschic medium the week after he passed. She told me that the things I said to him before he passed meant everything to him. That helped a bit.I’m sorry if I upset anyone who doesn’t like that sort of thing. But I’m also an ex nurse and it’s true that hearing is the last sense to go. Wishing you all well xx
Hi Ann, Tilly, Yvonne & everyone,
Thank you for getting in touch, I’m up after the usual restless night. I’m feeling very nervous today, the panic attacks make you feel edgy all the time. I think it’s all this worry and stress, I can’t cope, and the thought of being on my own is so frightening. I will go to my GP, but I expect he’ll give me medication. I’m waiting for the phone call from the counsellor at 12pm, I will tell him about the panic attacks. I’m thinking of you all, take care
Janet xx
Hi Janet
Deep breathing through the nose with mouth closed helps. Good luck with the Counsellor, hope he can help. Thinking of you.
Yvonne x
Good luck Janet xx
Hi AnnC and everyone on this site
In a daft sort of way its comforting knowing that we are not alone in our thoughts or the way we are trying to deal with this nightmare.
I havent yet joined U3A but I think I will. I was telling my son about it and tried to sound enthusiastic but in reality I’m scared maybe its too soon. I never really liked ‘clubs’ although its not a confidence problem, its because I dont want to be in this position either, Like you I want my old life back but its not going to happen. I was thinking this morning wouldnt it be wonderful if I woke up and it was a bad dream but then I dont think I could go through it all again. Its been 5 months now and I wonder sometimes how I even got to here, I can remember family events, birthdays and things, but the rest has gone by in some sort of fog.
Someone the other day (her husband is still around)- said to me well maybe its time to get some new friends and new interests even though you are 70, other people have done it that she knows. I know she was only trying to be kind but this for us is an enforced change, one that we didnt want, its second best. Its going against the grain because we were alright with the life we had. I just cannt see how I can ever feel truly happy ever again. Like you I dont feel as bad when the family are here or friends, but get the wobbles when decisions have to be made.
How long AnnC have you been on your own?
My thoughts are with everyone on this site lets hope we can all just keep going - one step at a time.
JC
Hi Yvonne, FrancesHazel & everyone
I’m trying the deep breathing as I write this, I spoke to the counsellor. He’s now going to arrange some grief counselling, I’ll have to wait until mid April as there’s a waiting list. I hope it will help, it’s been nearly 11 weeks since Jack died, and I’m feeling so low and lonely without him. Thinking of you all take care,
Janet xx
I’m sure it will help Janet. I’m waiting for counselling myself. We need all the help we can get xx
Dear JuneC , Janet and all,
Dealing with other people and their comments can be so difficult to tolerate and it just makes me even more sure that they haven’t a clue what we’re going through. We don’t want anything new, we just want what we had before with our beloved husbands.
I also am useless at making decisions now, it just makes me shake and panic.
I’m told this will get better but I don’t know how
At least we have friends here who understand,
Love to all, TillyC
Hi June
My husband only passed away at the beginning of January so it’s very early days. I still can’t believe he’s gone. We were married for 40 years and I miss him more than words can ever say. I know life will never be the same but he so wanted me to be okay and find some happiness again, I feel must at least give it a go, even though my heart’s not in it.
Ann x
Hi Ann, June, Janet and all ,
I’ve woken up in tears again today. It’s all so hard, I don’t think I can do this.
Small problems just seem enormous and I can’t deal with them.
I’m also due to see a counsellor today but she can’t do the one thing I need and bring my Paul back.
It’s been six weeks now and I feel I’m going backwards.
Sorry to be so negative but I just felt I had to tell someone,
Thanks for being there,
Love to all,
TillyC