Hello Janet,
Woke up to another wet dismal day. I have to get up to feed the cat, she’s a great comfort and I talk to her all the time.
I don’t feel like getting up today and don’t think I’ll bother. As long as I’m warm and I eat something, I don’t think it matters. It gives my brain a chance to take in what’s happened. I’m going to have some cornflakes and read.
I’m listening to Greg Wise on radio4 talking about caring for his sister. It’s all so true.
We’ll get through the day,
Love , Chris
Hello Tilly,
I’m up after the usual restless night, I had Radio4 on earlier, I don’t listen to music, I always have talking on. I know how you feel about not getting up, I find everything too much. As you say you’ve got to feed your cat, I expect she is a comfort and someone to talk to. I haven’t got any animals, my daughter has 3 dogs and 3 cats! When I stayed at my daughters for over 4 weeks, whenever I cried the dogs always reacted, and used to come and jump up, they always seemed to know I was upset.
I’m hoping I can get through this weekend without having to get my daughter to come over, it’s awful when you feel so lonely. I’ve got the telephone assessment on Monday, that’s the start of the counselling, I hope it will help me.
I’ll be thinking of you and everyone as I struggle through another day. Take care, love
Janet xx
Hi Janet,
Well I didn’t get up today. I’ve even eaten my ready meal in bed. I’m hoping tomorrow will be easier. A friend rang just now and I cried all the time.
I panicked earlier because my Yahoo email wasn’t working. I just called for Paul to help me, I didn’t know what to do. He would have sorted it, I felt so helpless and frightened. It turned out to be their problem and it’s now working but things like this happen all the time.
. My friend suggested it’s like losing a leg, it makes you completely unstable, it’s a wound that takes a long time to heal and you always have a limp afterwards.
Take care and speak again soon,
Love, to all, TillyC
I just spent today day-dreaming like a teenager. I dreamt that Derek was here at home just like he always used to be. We chatted for ages, catching up on everything he has missed over the past endless 6 weeks since he died, we laughed and hugged and everything was normal, like it was for the past 40 years. Oh how I wish it was. How much I took for granted for all those years and now it’s all gone and will never come back. Unbearable.
Ann x
I am so sorry for your loss, it’s a cruel world we live in. My husband died last August after only being diagnosed with cancer for 3 months before he passed away, it feels like yesterday. I miss him so much, we’d been together for 40yrs from the age of 17. I’m only 56 and dread the future without him I could live another 30yrs on my own and feeling this lonely is a dreadful thought. I can only hope that it will get better somehow for all of us on here going through this same pain. Take care x
Hi Tilly, Ann, and everyone,
I can understand you not getting up Tilly, I had a ready meal, couldn’t do anything else. I’ve had a terrible day, I had a panic attack this afternoon which was very frightening and being alone makes it even worse. It’s left me tired and exhausted, yet when I go to bed I won’t sleep properly. I can’t believe Jack is no longer here with me, I too wish it was all back to normal, it’s like you say Ann it’s all gone and will never come back. I’m not coping at all well, I always dread the weekends. I too fear being on my own and so lonely, it’s been just over 2 months since Jack died and it’s not getting any better. I’m sorry to be so depressing, I know you will all understand how I’m feeling. I hope tomorrow will be better, thinking of you all, take care
Love Janet xx
Hi
I lost my husband soul mate best friend on Jan 1st at the age of 50 he dropped in front of myself and disabled son it is horrific hoping talking to similar situations will help thanks.
Sorry to hear of your lose Clyde he was so young my husband died in November aged 59 coming on here is helping me to cope with things as everyone is nice and you always get a reply back from someone all we can do is take one day at a time
Hi Janet don’t be sorry to be depressing we know how you feel I can’t believe my husband vic has gone I miss him so much I’m not coping at all neither night times is my worst time as I’m all alone I feel as time goes on I’m getting worse also .i married vic when I was 17 years old and we was togeather for 34 years he was my best friend and he was gone just like that didn’t have time to say goodbye and To say I loved him but don’t ever apologise we r here for you xx
Hi Clyde,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband, my husband Jack died on the 6th December 2017. I miss him so much, he too was my best friend and it was always just the two of us. I’m very frightened and lonely without him. I stayed at my daughters for over 4 weeks, coming back to my empty home was terrible. Joining this forum does help, as so many understand what we’re all going through. Remember you’re not on your own, and we’ll all be thinking of you, keep in touch. Take care warm regards
Janet x
Hi Twilight
I’m up again after the usual sleepless night, I hope I can get through today, with no panic attacks! I felt so awful yesterday, and like you as the time goes on I’m sure I’m getting worse. I was with Jack for 36 years, same time as you and Vic. He too was my best friend, it was always just the two of us. I wish I could’ve said more to him in his final days, but he was so unresponsive, I used to speak to him, I hope he heard me. Then he was gone, and it’s left me so heartbroken. I’ll be thinking of you and everyone as I try to get through today. It’s reassuring to know I can get in touch anytime. Take care,
Janet xx
Hope you’re having a better day today Janet. Let us know later how it’s been.
Ann x
Hi to everyone on this forum.
I lost my husband in September, I am trying so hard to get on with everything but I too feel exhausted. His final few hours were not pleasant and it does stick in my mind -
He was a good man and didnt deserve the cards he was dealt. He had heart problems and was for the past couple of years becoming more and more not well, the only consolation is that he would not have wanted to be in a chair or a bed on oxygen and not be able to drive and go out and about. The trouble is when we retire we spend more time with our husbands and do all the ordinary things together. Its not the going out and about for me its more the being in the home and doing things together that I miss and someone to talk to, even though I am lucky because I do have family nearby.
One day I feel I am coping, but then the next wham, I am in tears again and dont know what to do with myself. I was speaking the other day with an old colleague who was bereaved 5 years ago and they suggested joining U3A who do various activities up and down the country. Part of me wants to, and the other part cannt face it. The thing when my husband was here I never wanted to join groups or go to classes and neither did he - so the idea of being with a group does put me off, but I know I have to do something.- does anyone else feel like this?
My thoughts are with all of you on this forum.
Jxx
Hello to everyone
I am sorry that we are all struggling through life just going day to day hoping that the next day will not be as so overwhelming as the last .
I lost the love of my life on the 26th November and my life stopped the life I want is no longer there I am back at work and put a mask on as I leave the house and take it off when I return to a empty house full of memories that just now cause me so much pain.
I know we are all struggling and I am truly sorry for us all sending hugs to all on the forum
Lily
Hi June
Lots of things in your post resonated with me. My husband died unexpectedly in October. We were together for 40 years. We worked together and spent all our free time together. Our husbands were our best friends. Like you we didn’t join groups because we didn’t need too and I don’t want to do that now. I know it’s not for me. However a friend who lost her partner a number of years ago has joined U3A and is enjoying it. I think you have to find out what you want to do ( not what someone else suggests). You, like the rest of us on here, have to find your reason to carry on and make a different life for yourself. Grieving seems to be a long process not something that can be rushed. I’m still taking it one day at a time.
Yvonne X
Hi Lily
It must be so hard for you going to work and putting on your ‘mask’. So many emotions to keep inside all day long and nowhere to hide. As my whole world imploded in October there is no going back for me. I have had to find things to fill my day, but at least I can stop when it all gets too overwhelming. I have been busying myself today doing Geoff’s jobs - clearing out the car, painting the bathroom ceiling ( bit difficult I’m only 5’2", Geoff was 5’10"). The car goes into the garage for 3 days so I am hoping to get on with some more painting then (goodness knows how it will turn out). Looking through some photos yesterday brought some tears and smiles and lots of happy memories.
Hope your day goes well.
Yvonne X
Hi June,
You sound so much like me - I could have written your post. I have taken the plunge and joined U3A [I haven’t been to any meetings yet] but, like you, I haven’t really got any enthusiasm. Maybe it’s just too soon but I feel I have to try something otherwise I will just sink and never swim. My husband asked me not to be too sad for too long and to find what makes me happy again, so I will give this and other things a try but all I want is my husband with me and my old life back.
I am not too bad when I am with family and friends but they can’t be here all the time and I have to spend quite a bit of time on my own at home as I am newly retired. I’m lonely and bored with no-one to chat to or plan things with and the thought of this being my life from now on frightens me.
My husband’s last few hours were traumatic as well and I know how that plays round and round in your head. He was also such a good, kind man and did not deserve to suffer such an end to his life.
Thinking of you and everyone here.
Ann x
My husband and I were both in the U3A. He was a very sociable man and loved to meet people. He ran a Welsh group for them also. We used to go on holiday with them as a couple but I can’t face holidays on my own with them. Not this year anyway. Everybody is nice there though and I shall probably go to the meeting on Tuesday and maybe on a day trip later. It’s so lonely at the weekend isn’t it. Derek was my best friend too. I went to a bereavement group and someone said it’s as though half of you is missing which is so true. I suppose we’ve all got to get through it the best way we can.xx
I know what you mean June. My husband had a brain tumour and gradually went from me. I have these awful images of him at the end and keep going over how he must have suffered but wouldn’t speak about his disease so I don’t know how he felt. It’s so heartbreaking. He was so kind and I’m sure he was worried about me.
It’s all too late now and I just can’t cope with these feelings.
Hope all of us can get some support here,
Love from Tilly
Hi everyone I keep seeing U3A can someone tell what it is please as never heard of it