I’m sending a great big hug for Oliver. Thanks for letting us know how he got on. You must be a very proud mummy and I’m sure his daddy was beaming down on him with pride also. Much love xx
Hi Michelle
Amazing that Oliver was able to do his presentation really sorry you are feeling ill the grieving is more than enough to deal with without being ill as well you are in my thoughts hope you feel better soon take care love Laura xxx
Hi Shelia I am surprised that you blame God for the situation we are in, Do you not believe he is a loving God I know it is hard but its not his fault Peter or Colin have passed over, We do have a Devil who causes a lot of pain and suffering , I feel although I am still in a dreadfull state the Lord will get me through this until as the bible states we will have a resurrection to eternal life and we will be with our loved ones Please don’t take this as a lecture but its how I feel love Pammi xx
Hi Shelia I am surprised that you blame God for the situation we are in, Do you not believe he is a loving God I know it is hard but its not his fault Peter or Colin have passed over, We do have a Devil who causes a lot of pain and suffering , I feel although I am still in a dreadfull state the Lord will get me through this until as the bible states we will have a resurrection to eternal life and we will be with our loved ones Please don’t take this as a lecture but its how I feel love Pammi xx
Hi Shelia I am surprised that you blame God for the situation we are in, Do you not believe he is a loving God I know it is hard but its not his fault Peter or Colin have passed over, We do have a Devil who causes a lot of pain and suffering , I feel although I am still in a dreadfull state the Lord will get me through this until as the bible states we will have a resurrection to eternal life and we will be with our loved ones Please don’t take this as a lecture but its how I feel love Pammi xx
Hi Shelia So sorry I misunderstood you, How are things with you hope you are feeling better with your sinusis not sure if that’s spelt right ,Already fed up with all the Christmas items in the shops and the carols I would love it if Colin was here but first Christmas without him so not looking forward to it, Have you got Christmas siorted yet ?Just going to put ready meal in oven cant say im looking forward to it, Take care love Pammi xxx
Dear Lonely
Faith is very personal and this forum is not really the right place to go into theological discussions ! However, I think many of us have sometimes felt as if grief is a form of punishment. In our endless quest to the unanswerable question “Why?” we latch onto anything that might be a reason for our loss. But a loving God does not send death as a punishment…on a practical level just think of how many humans have experienced the loss of a loved one…they can’t all have deserved God to punish them !! Would it not be kinder to yourself to think instead of the gift that God gave you in the love that you and Peter shared for many years…please think about it because all of us who read your posts hate to think that you have such sad thoughts.
On a similar vein, I so agree with your post that our grief makes our very souls weep…but when things are at their worst and the tears won’t stop I repeat this verse to myself :
When all around my soul gives way,
God then is my strength and stay.
Take care…we need you!
Hi Sheila
So glad you are feeling better good to have you back you are really missed when your not on the forum you have helped me so much over the last 10 months I would never have got through this without your advice and support imen that most sincerely enjoy your trip out tomorrow love Laura xxx
Hi
I personally do not believe in god.
But I have no problem with people who do
No matter hard I pray it’s not going to bring my soul mate back
He was a good man and if there were a god why did he punish him with such a long very painful death
As I say if your believe helps you good
Love June E
It really does scare me that think that I’m still going to feel this horrendous pain years down the line like some of u are …my kids are so excited about Christmas they don’t understand really how different it is going to be and that worries me …
I must be honest in regards to previous post s I do ask them same questions have I done something wrong…I watched my mum die in front of me at 59 only two years ago and 3 months ago my husband there daddy …
I’m not ignorant I see there are so many worse of so many suffering…but when ur at Rock bottom like my self it’s hard to be positive…
It’s a long road ahead for me and my babies without a husband or daddy and fear it’s going to be a lonely future …
I am feeling a little sorry today I’m still very poorly and having to drag my self out of bed to get them to school …
Hope you are all having better weeks x
Sheila It really upsets me that you don’t see anyone for weeks … I know it’s not helpful but if I was close I would come and visit you …I would live to hear all your wonderful stories of your and Peter’s life…
Take care and remember how much u mean to everyone on here x
Sheila my heart breaks for you you are in no way feeling sorry for yourself don’t ever think that it must be terrible to not speak to anyone on this horrific journey and you have suffered this pain for 4 years and do everyday I cannot imagine how lonely you are it is no wonder you are feeling down like Michelle I wish I lived nearer I am in Scotland but if I was I would love to spend some time with you you are a wonderful intelligent lady xx
Hi Shelia I agree with what 1877 has put wish I lived nearer you I am lonely Brother long way away and Daughter I see every 3 weeks never ever thought it would be like this its not living its just plodding from day to day and not wanting to. Cant stand television such a load of rubbish on im a avid reader but find ive read pages but not a clue what ive read Cant say it will be better soon because we know in our hearts it wont be without our Husbands Have a nice day tomorrow if you can , take care Pammi xxx
Hi Michelle
I too am reading Christmas and I lost Ian on new years day so that will be another hurdle like we are all facing like Pammi says we are all just plodding through each day not knowing how we are doing it. I have been in tears again tonight as my husband loved music we had over 1000 cds and I had to move them as I am trying to make a few changes to the house I found a CD with my husbands handwriting written on it was to the most wonderful wife in the world it was really strange because when I opened it inside there was a note Ian had written (he collected fountain pens and had the most beautiful handwriting) the note read Time Heals Nothing It Merely Rearranges Your Memories I had a shiver right down my spine how true this is love Laura xxx
Shelia wernt we lucky to have had such wonderful Husbands we could have had a horrible marriage but we had the best and nothing will take that away, Night Night love Pammi xxx
Oh Laura …that’s actually lovely a message from him and one that is so true … I find my self talking to Gary out loud asking him to send me a sign to show me he is near or ok …I was washing up tonight I dragged my self off the couch …and as I washing up I stopped in my tracks and said out loud " he’s dead … garys dead and I had to go and sit down . It just hit me like a ton of bricks …
Scarlett then started shouting that Oliver had took her doll and I was back in mummy mode and snapped out of it . I wonder how long I would of sat there otherwise…apart of me still thinks he’s just away. Realisation is so scary … hopefully Ian is right and my memories will be rearranged into remembering only him and not this horrible time…
Love to you all x
Hi Laura Yes that is so true what your Ian had written it does just rearrange them, can imagine the shivers you got, Glad we can all keep in touch just wish we could all spirit ourselves to be able to meet up that would be so nice we could then put a face to the messages we send and receive I have Shelia face in my mind when I send her a message its one of her and Peter when they were young Take care Love Pammi xx
Hi Michelle
I know exactly how you feel find myself saying all the time Ian has gone and it still feels surreal to me how your life can change in seconds as you say it is horrific in some ways I am more fortunate than you that my children are older my daughter is 25 and my son is 22 although his understanding is of a much lesser age as he was born with a congenital brain disorder so so hard for you with your children being so young. Everyday Michelle I worry about the years ahead of me growing old alone Ian and I had a wonderful life together as I am sure you did with Gary I feel I am looking in on someone else life. This forum has been a lifesaver for me so good to talk to people who understand anytime you are struggling just post the thing about this forum is there is always someone who will reply which really helps. Although we may not think it we are doing the best we can to deal with this life we did not want but were given. You and your children are always in my thoughts xxxx
That would be brilliant Pammi think we would need a good few boxes of tissues if we all got together thinking of you take care Love Laura xxx
Pammi I am the same put a picture in my head of what each of us looks like . These ladies have been my life line x