Good on you Sheila, you really are an inspiration to us all. Enjoy your treats you certainly deserve them. Big hugs. Kay. Xxx
I lost my husband of 38 years, in October 2017. He was 62 and partially retired. I have been reading posts for some weeks now and took comfort from the support being given. Today, I finally made the effort to join a bereavement group. Regretfully, not a good decision and my increased anxiety this evening, confirms this. Is it time now to ask for the medication I’ve been trying to avoid or to just keep going, as best I can? I took early retirement to look after my husband…lost my purpose & my soulmate.
Hi Rainbow sorry things didn’t go to plan. Can I ask what made you think the bereavement group wasn’t a good idea? I don’t want to upset you I’m just curious. If you feel you need medication I’m sure your Dr will help. Always here if you want to talk. Take care. Kay xxx
Dear Sheila, thank you so much for shining a light onto your own journey following the loss of your beloved husband and family. I had been trying baby steps. Today, I got more than was good for me. I so appreciate your kindness this evening.
Hi Rainbow
Sorry for the loss of your husband. You have found the right place to come. Everyone on here is very supportive and you can say exactly how you are feeling. My husband also died in October 2017 unexpectedly in his sleep. Like you I have just passed the first anniversary. No one really understands what it is like until it happens to them. The anxiety and fear can be crippling as well as the loneliness and sadness.
I don’t think bereavement groups are for everyone so I wouldn’t worry if it hasn’t worked for you. I found a good hypnotherapist who taught me breathing exercises to control the anxiety and panic. I also used guided meditation ( You tube) which really helped. To help me sleep I used Nytol ( one a night) Grieving is a very long process and we are all in the process of trying to rebuild our lives and not knowing where to start. I would just say take little steps and gradually your confidence will grow. I started a dance class in September. All the women are around my age. They are very friendly but no one knows my circumstances. I don’t always want to be viewed as the grieving widow. It’s so hard to carry on but we have no choice. Have you got family and friends around you?
Keep posting on here there is always someone ready to reach out with advice and support.
Yvonne
Hi ladies …
Hi Yvonne hope you ok …
Just when I thought my luck good not get any worse …I received a letter saying that they are going to post pone the inquest into Gary’s death as they need more statements …it was supposed to be 13 December …
The letter arrived at my sister’s today as I was there at the time so she is going post to me …
Everything to getting on top of me …I just want all the official part over …
Not in the best of moods sorry …I had to stand on the playground today listening to someone bragging that they had set up and go fund me page…so she could raise money for breast enlargement I was furious…it’s not my business but I was so mad …
She does not work and said she couldn’t afford Christmas and surgery…how I kept my mouth shut was beyond me …
Sorry I’m not much support to you all this week
Love Michelle
Hi Kay, thanks for replying. I have been in my own bubble for a while now. Seeing the rawness of someone else’s grief and their struggle with traumatic loss, at just two weeks, took me back to the start. I noticed the change in my reaction. I wished I could be supportive.
Hi Michelle
It’s good to be able to post on here and ‘get it all out’. No wonder you were annoyed
about the funding page it just highlights the fact that people have no idea what others are going through. It all seems so trivial. I can also understand you being upset about the delay in holding the Inquest. I know they have to be diligent in getting everything right but I’m sure you just want it over with. Now I suppose it will drag on into the New Year. I have just read something in a magazine tonight which I think may be of interest to you. I will look into it tomorrow and then private message you.
Don’t worry about anything - just try and get some rest tonight. A good night’s sleep always helps.
Yvonne x
I can understand that was hard and as someone else said a bereavement group is not for everyone. Grief and grieving is a lonely and very individual place and there are no right or wrongs. This forum and everyone in it is a godsend so keep posting. I hope you have a positive response from your Dr. Take care. Kay. Xx
Thanks Sheila …
No not back at doctor till 3 Rd December now so they can do bloods 1 month after being in the thyroid medication…I’ve stopped taking the beta blockers as I can feel my heart rate has returned to normal …
It’s the dizziness that I cant stand … It’s constantly there Luke I walking on a bouncy castle and being spun round …
I should be sleeping I just find it hard to settle … And sleeping alone is so sad
Love Michelle
Dear Shelia How are you? it has not stopped raining all day talk about make you depressed, Still waiting to get me computer fixed it has a mind of its own and keeps doing all strange things , Its a year tomorrow that Colin went into the Hospice and never came home again, Another day over with , Managed to start reading my book again last night and managed to get quite into it, When are you going for your facial ? do hope you will enjoy it, Received my first Christmas Card today now that’s much to early, My Daughter went to see the Freddy Mercury film the other night over £40 for her and her Husband to get in We used to pay Half crown and when the lights went out everyone moved to the dearer seats at the back Good Times, The last time I went to pictures was to see the Krays film Legend it was so noisy it done my ears in, Be glad when Christmas is over and wont be long till spring then, Now going to make a cuppa and have a few custard cream not had biscuit for a long time, Take care Shelia lots of love Pammi xxx
Hello Yvonne, thank you for your kind words last evening. I was so sorry to hear of your loss at the same time…so so sad for us to have this in common. We were not blessed with children. I am very close to one of my sisters and I have the most amazing sister-in-law who supported us, right from the start of my husband’s illness in 2015. I heard today that I can start 1-2-1 bereavement counselling next week. I admire your courage and appreciate your advice x
Dear Rainbow so sorry for your loss I lost my Husband 1 year ago this Dec, Been married 56 years but together for 59 years ,It is one day at a time still ,but as Shelia says we had wonderful times that will last us till the day we die, Life will never be the same I was 16 years old when I met Colin so don’t really know a life without him, But have to make the most of what we have left .Be thinking of you take it easy it will be alright and we are all here in the same boat some been married a long time others not very long but we all have that one thing in common loss of our loved one, Take care love Pammi xx
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Dear Shelia I am not good with computers as you are so the chap is doing it the weekend good idea about the flowers will start doing that it will make me feel better Am going for counselling tomorrow 2nd one the Doctor has requested it . see how it goes, Have a good night sleep. talk tomorrow Love Pammi xx
So glad you’re getting 1-2-1 help. I have no family near and no children and feel at sea most of the time. It’s a year since Paul was in the hospice and I was living there.
I do find the counsellor that I see, very helpful. I tell her everything that I’m feeling and she talks me through my difficulties. It doesn’t matter what I tell her, I know she won’t think it’s odd or weird.
I hope it works for you,
X C
Hello Tilly, thank you for sharing about your counselling. Your living at the hospice with Paul, says so much to me. With respect, x
Dear Pammi, thank you for caring for me whilst you are living each day with your own loss. I too met my husband at 16 (on my birthday) and married at 19…I’ve known no other life than with him, by my side (42 years). I will take it easy as you suggest and hope you can do the same x
Hi Rainbow . I met my husband when I was 16 too . 42 years like you . He died suddenly 16 weeks ago . He was 60 . My world has gone upside down . Sending you big hugs . Romy xxx
Dear Romy, thank you for your hugs this afternoon. Whilst my husband became ill aged 60, following three months of partial retirement, his health declined over two and a half years. I am thinking of our now upside down worlds…so sorry for your loss x
xx