Lost my husband

I lost my husband we were really looking forward to reaching our 30th anniversary but sadly and heartbreaking i lost him in march,im devastated i cant move on,we were so much devoted to eachother.he was goin through illnesses but i cared for him,gave up job to look after him,we were always together joined at the hip.
And now i am a mess,i dont go out,thinks all a bad dream, and im goin wake up and he will be there big smile.i cry at everything.
Icant talk to anyone,thats why im doing this im an emotional wreck,i do go out when i really have to,like drs,which i hate,cause people are around me,is there anyone else suffering like this? I do try to do hobbies etc,but i guess i miss him so much

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Just know that you’re not alone, even though that’s how it feels. We are all here to listen. I feel pretty much the same as you. Only going out when I really have to. My son takes me shopping because I am too much of a wreck to drive myself. I scurry around the shop and can’t wait to get home. Then when I am home and along I cry because I am so lonely.
Sorry, not much help, but everyone here really does understand.
Much love, xx

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Oh @24324

Please be assured you are not alone. We all feel or have felt like that
I’m further on than you, 16 weeks, but I am starting to cope with some of my feelings.
It’s hard but you will learn to live with it, but it’ll take time. In the meantime just do what you want or feel like.
Be kind to yourself. I was told many times that I was being to hard on myself expecting too much.
Keep posting on here, we all understand, we’re all going through this horrendous grief journey, but we all support each other.

Sending you love and hugs

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Good morning,

I am so sorry y.

I can identify with this.

I don’t go out very much at all.

We had a before Covid lifestyle and a different one during and after.
In both we were together practically all the time. I loved being with my husband always did.

During Covid, it obviously changed. We were very cautious after the lockdowns so it was just the two of us 99 % of the time. Which was lovely but of course when he died in March everything changed.

So although I wasn’t his carer, I understand being with each other.
Like you, I wish I could wake up and find that all this was a terrible, terrible nightmare.

We are going to feel a mess after such a huge change in our lives. As many will write, what we try to do in our individual ways is try to learn to live the huge change.

It will take time, which is a painful thought because we don’t want to feel this

think everyone wishes they had a magic wand to take away the pain and longing for them. I know I do

There will be many others on here who identify with what you have written. This a very supportive site.

Sending you a big hug.

Love Rose xx

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I know exactly what you’re feeling. I lost my husband in January after caring for him. Our Golden Wedding anniversary was the day after his funeral. Some days are better than others and I’ve gone back to how I felt when I lost him because I had to go through another funeral in Ireland when I took his ashes home. It is incredibly lonely and I can’t believe I’ll never see him again or hold his hand. I’m just living from day to day and hope that I’ll feel better some time. Your’e not alone and writing this makes me cry once again. I’m told it’s part of the grieving process but it doesn’t make life any better. I’m lucky that my family is so good, but they don’t live close and I’m so lonely when they go.

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I am so sorry.

I understand.

We were together nearly 50 years.
How do I deal with a life without him,
a life I had so very, very long ago.

I too cannot believe I will not see him here, talk to him, laugh with him.

I can cope with him being absent.

Sending you love and hugs,

Rose xx

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Thankyou for the words of support,please except my support.
Its really so hard isnt it,we all see su ch sadness with people when theyve lost a partner,but when it happens to you its tragic beyond control,
When i read all these messages i cry for you all,because thay all relate to me in this grief,my gp offered social couniciling yesterday where they come see you at home,i couldnt do it,i cant talk out face to face im uncontrollable with tears,i guess im really angry,i wish i could of done more to save him,these clinical decisions ripped me apart,3 days 3 nights ,sat with him till his heart stopped beating,tears rolling again now,Family came when he was ill to visit,Family came to his farewell.obviously they all had to go home,they all live 100 miles away plus,
Now its just me,i have his ashes, which I do find comfort with,which are staying with me till he calls me.
When he died,most of me went with him.

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Yes, it’s so hard. I thought nobody loved their man like i did mine. It was to be our 46th wedding anniversary on the day he went.
I am coping well in most things and i push myself hard to go out every day. I’ve joined classes st my local centre which i enjoy.
But my heart is still broken and lately I’m feeling hard done by at losing my soul mate and am envious of other couples doing all those things we used to do. I know these feelings are natural but also know its not nice to be like this. I’m hoping its one of the many stages which i will go through.
Life is cruel :broken_heart:

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It is so very hard…he was everything to me for 37 years…my soulmate.
I too am coping okay some days keeping myself busy but deep down I am missing him so much and so heart broken - life is very cruel to us all :broken_heart:
Best wishes to everyone x

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3 months nearly 4 now since he passed,still sleeping is so bad,
So im tired all day, i eat rubbish for comfort,dont want go out i cancel appointments,just sit about and the tv depresses me,i do sometimes do some diamond art painting,family.are distant away.
Whom have there own lives,i dont expect them to drive 100 miles.we chat sometimes,i put on a show really,im fine and all that,life goes on they say,but i havent got a life since he left.this morning is a bad day i think

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Hi @24324

I know how you feel.
I’m about the timescale
I’m constantly tired, and like you today I’m having a bad day.
Don’t know why except as I went to go out this morning I called out.“what do you want for dinner” and there was, of course no answer. Just for a fleeting moment I’d forgotten.
Now I’m in tears again
Unlike you I do go out and I have friends and family close. But that doesn’t stop the loneliness.
I’ve just started diamond painting and am enjoying it. I have the tv on but just as a background noise really, I dont really watch it much.

Take care
Sending hugs x

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Hi i lost my huband last july i live in Lancashire if u need to chat

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Hi again, having a few bad weeks just when I thought I was getting better. I’m going backwards, missing him constantly plus can’t stop thinking of this time last year and things that were going on with him. Why did i think summertime would be easier? The days are so long and bedtime never comes. I hate my life

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Hi,im sorry you lost your husband aswell,its so devastating.i just cant come to terms with it, gone and ill never see him again,thanku for replying,id help you to if i can,we were so happy,even though he was not well,he didnt complain,he was my best freind he still made me laugh and we were joined at the hip,we always were together, its all so empty,it was me and him,now its me,

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I can relate to you with all you say,i wish i could have him back,feels like theres no happiness left only tears every day,ill never be the same,part of me has gone with him,

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Hi @Ruby46

I know how you feel. I’m only 19 weeks but I sometimes think I’m going backwards. I’m sure I was coping better a few weeks ago.
Outwardly I’m not too bad but the turmoil inside is incessant.
Most people think I’m doing well and I let them. A few trusted friends are fully aware of my struggle, and I know I’m lucky to have them.
I think of him constantly, and I talk about and to him constantly.

Sending you a big hug

Liz x x

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@Ruby46 I understand.

I also feel I have gone backwards.

You have described my existence.

Sending you a very big hug.

Love Rose xx

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I am also struggling to stop crying this morning. I got my daughter off onto the day centre bus, came in and just sobbed. There is such a huge hole where my husband used to be. And I have got the bloody shakes again,
Love and strength to everyone that has taken a dip today.
Xx

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@24324 my husband also passed in March.
It was sudden and unexpected.

We too were so very close.

You have described exactly how I feel.

Sending you a very big hug.

Love Rose xx

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Big hug @Willow112

I understand.

Love,

Rose xx