I know entirely how you feel my husband died 25th February suddenly from a heart attack. He was my world and ever since I met him we did everything together. I have no friends as he was all I ever needed. I miss him so much, miss his warm embrace, his lovely smile and mostly feel I cannot go on. I do not want to go on, the future holds nothing for me. My children are at one anothers throats which is making things even worse. I am crying all the time, wake up thinking its all a bad dream, I am so very angry and completely at a lost what to do with the rest of my life.
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My husband had a cardiac arrest 6 weeks ago. I am glad you found this site, and I hope you find as much comfort as I do. Just knowing that I am not alone and that my feelings are normal has helped me.
Xx
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I totally understand how you feel.
Itās as if you can see me and how I am.
Sending you a big hug.
Love,
Rose xx
March isnt just another month anymore,so much sadness there,i also lost my hubby, and every 24th is a constant reminder.my food delivery arrived this morning,theres so much missing there,certain items he liked,i cant even be bothered sonetimes to cook for one,no fun eating alone.
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I understand.
I now hate Sundays. The memories come back.
The first time I saw something he would have bought, I started crying in the shop. Then I saw something else and something else, well you can imagine how I was.
Love,
Rose xx
i lost my husband of 50yrs in April. I find myself picking things up for him when i shop,& then start to get upset,& feel people are looking at me. He was my soul mate, i was with him 24/7 due to his numerous health issues. I cry all the time,i find myself making him a coffee or shouting from the kitchen do want a sandwich. I always considered myself to be a strong person, but this has knocked the stuffing out of me. Night times are difficult i kiss his picture & say goodnight every night.
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I am so very sorry.
There are so many reminders in everyday life.
As you have written, shopping and automatically saying things then remembering.
I think most of us have thought of something we must tell our other half and thenā¦ā¦
I am afraid it is part of this horrible, horrible different world that has been forced onto us.
I donāt know if it helps but now if something in the shop brings tear, I donāt care what others think.
Please continue to write on here. People truly understand.
Sending you a very big hug.
Love,
Rose xx
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Iām so sorry for your loss @Jackie9
Its still early days for you and youāll be going through hell.
It does get easier, in the fact you sort of get used to it.
Iām just beginning to cope, sometimes, after 19 weeks.
In the beginning I would never have believed it.
Itās one hell of a rollercoaster ride with highs but lots of dips.
Please be sure youāve done the right thing coming on here.
We all understand, weāre all in the same boat. All at different stages and all ready to listen to and support each other.
Itās helped me through some very dark times.
Please donāt worry about other people. Mostly they are so wrapped up in themselves they donāt even notice. And if they do, it really doesnāt matter.
Sending you big hugs
Liz x x
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Im truly sorry jackie,i can relate in everything you do,i do the same things,i lost my hubby in march,you have joined the right place here,everyone is supportive and understanding,im still devastated,morni gs and night time i tell him what am doing or what ive done,im heartbroken.
Talking on here had helped me,im on meds and we just will never get over it,we just get through best we can,its hard,its so unfair.
Thank you RoseGarden,
I started Grief Counseling on Friday & the counselor said exactly the same about getting upset in shops.
She was the one who told me about this site,i definetly will continue to write on here.
Tomorrow will be my 69th Birthday, i have told family i dont want to celebrate it,has it will be the first time since i met my husband when i was 16, Married at 17 that he hasnt been here to wish me Happy Birthday. I know i will spend most of my day crying,i am already getting upset now typing this.
Thank You for replying.
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I lost my husband in April. I to have his Ashes, & am getting a Pendant to put some in so he is with me all the time. I was offered Grief Counseling by my GP, at first i was sceptical,but i had my first session on Friday one to one,& felt it may help me.
My Husband was home with me when he passed, he had been in Hospital 5weeks ,i got the Hospital bed home,& my Daughter came & we sat up for his 10 days with us. We were both holding his hand when he passed. The hardest part was that he was a Dialysis Patient & he wasnt able to have it for those last days, my Daughter only lives a short distance from me. Isay goodnight to his photo every night & tell him i love him.
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I think i have joined the right group. People tell me it will get easier, but i cant see that Light at the end of the tunnel ever making it easier. It helps that there are people like me on here who have so recently lost their partners, it makes it easie to relate to people. I am so sorry for your loss. Itotally agree it it so hard & unfair.
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Thank you, i know already i am on the right site, just reading comments from people . It definetly is a hell of a roller coaster. I had to take 2 Diazipam one day last week just to be able to go out into my front garden, I live in a village so everyone knows each other,& the thought of going out & people stopping asking if was coping gave me a panic attack.
Hugs to you
Jackie x
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I am sorry that you are having a tearful morning. I have had a couple of weepy days myself - thinking so much about my beloved and wishing that he would be here by my side every day!
Love & hugs to everyone 
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Jackie it is the hardest thing. My husband and I were together all the time too. We were together 57 years and lived for each other. I look at pictures of his lovely face and ache to hold him.
I was with him 24/7 the last week of his life and fortunately there when he died otherwise I would worry about how he was.
The thought of life without him holds no joy,
We are all going through this torture together. At least we have each other to talk to
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It is so difficult when you have been with your partner so long,to suddenly being on your own. Yesterday was really hard ,it was my birthday,it is the first birthday since 1973,that i havenāt woke up to him wishing me happy birthday. I told my Daughter i didnt want to celebrate it, Her,my son in law & grandchildren came, with cards & she said open them when you feel ready Mum. I opened theirs today, no others, & sat & cryed reading them. All the others will be left until i feel ready. I like you was with him holding his hand when he passed away, he always said he wanted to be at home at the end. My daughter arranged the funeral exactly has he wanted,with everyone in their football team colours. Life will never be the same without him. I am so glad i have joined this group & can chat to others suffering the same pain.
xx
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I know itās only just over two weeks since I lost my husband of 10 years (he lost his first wife in 2012)but I feel absolutely devastated. I wake up in a morning with tears streaming . I know heād want me to be strong and carry on but I feel thereās no purpose to my life. He had a son and daughter who have been supportive but they have their own families. I canāt imagine going anywhere without him. The thought of shopping or a visit to the garden centre fills me with dread because we did everything together. The silence in the house is ādeafeningā. No-one to talk to. No-one to laugh with. No-one to sit in the garden with and decide on new plants and where to put them. I know Iām not alone with these feelings but everything seems pointless. I loved him so much and canāt bear the thought of him not being here for the future. 
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So very sorry.
It is truly devastating.
What you have written will resonate with those reading your post.
This is a very understanding and kind community. So please continue to write posts on here.
I think most of us would say,
do what you can,
take it hour by hour if necessary
and take the positive support offeredā¦
Sending a big hug,
Rose xx
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I know those feelins Harriet i lost my husband 4 weeks tomorrow. The silence in the house is deafening. The lonilness at night is so cruel. It would be our 16th wedding anniversary on the 2nd of August. We had both lost previous partners in 2005. My first husband died of a dvt he was only 36. Gra my second husband brought so much love and happiness to my life. He supported me when i lost both my mum dad and sister. Now i stand very much alone. I am a total mess.life as no meaning anymore. Xxx
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