Hi Simon1,
Again your post resonates deep,
I’m new on here, be 5 weeks tomorrow I lost my wife of 30 years to cancer, after a very difficult 3year battle…
Every day is a new challenge, with new obstacles that doesn’t seem to get any easier yet.
This site, well, the people on this site, have definitely helped me though this far,
Stay on here with us all, and let’s do this sh!t together…
Foggy
Thanks for your message, I’ve not been posting but think il try to keep it up now
Hi Kenneth,
Mate I honestly believes it helps, if we can gain any strength through our pain, we must, somedays will be better for others, than for you, me, all of us at times, but strength we will draw from each other in our broken hearted honesty, that doesn’t seem to fit with the rest of society yet,
Ahhh, it’s all too raw at times but our unity will prevail.
Always here if you need a chat bro…
Foggy
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Thank you so much for your reply but I am confusing everyone using my husbands name my name is Jackie, I’m really struggling to cope but have to keep trying xxxx
Thanks again, some times it helps just to know someone is listening x
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I think that helps me knowing you are all listening
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Cheers, hope things improve for everyone
I’m so sorry Jackie,
Please forgive me…it won’t happen again.
x
Foggy
Please don’t apologise I’m happy to speak to anyone anytime
Hello Simon I am now 9 months apart from my wonderful husband who died in October after a 5 month battle with cancer. It was traumatic for him and he was 59 years old. We were soul mates, together 39 years and I am lost without him. I can only suggest that you don’t think ahead as that is unbearable, just plan the day you are in as that is the only challenge you should set yourself. I find myself talking to my husbands photographs as I need to speak to him and I desperately hope for a miracle that he may hear me. Initially I didn’t like being at home but now this has reversed and I feel comfort of being in the home that we created together. Our house is full of our memories and his favourite things that I constantly come across and this makes me feel close to him. Hopefully in time you will feel this also. In time you will feel calmer. Good luck,
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Hi Gunner.
Great words and a source of comfort. I have not got to the stage where I can look at any photos without falling to pieces. I am hoping that wanting to be in our home returns but at the moment I can’t bear to be in the house It’s that knowing that I will never see her again that I’m finding difficult to cope with. I did take great comfort from your words and will try and cope better but it’s just so difficult.
Sending good vibes.
Simon
Simon, I think going to work might help you. It’ll be a distraction from your thoughts. It’ll give you something else to think about. You have absolutely done the right thing joining a support group. Just reading other people’s stories is comforting. Sadly there is no quick fix to this, the pain is unbearable. I understand that breathlessness. Have you thought about doing some charity work? I have just started volunteering for Sue Ryder. It gives you a purpose and a way to say thank you - thinking of you
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Hi Caela
Thankyou for the kind words.
I think eventually I will do some sort of charity work. I took another week off work and I’m returning Wednesday. It’s just the thought of never seeing Maria again that I find most difficult. Being on my own in the house is too much to take at the moment so I’m trying to do stuff at weekends drive down to family etc even for one night. Sundays are the absolute worst for me.
Kind regards
Simon.
Hi Jackie here, I’m the same with Sunday’s, I really struggle, my husband died on valentines day which was a Sunday, I try just staying in bed and not facing it, but I probably need some new tactics as I am spending more and more time in bed. Hope things get a little better for you
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Yep - Sunday’s are the hardest here too. Weekends used to be my favourite times, now it’s quite the opposite.
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I am looking to be out all day Sundays and come home in the evening when it’s nearly Monday Now wether this works is the question I never in a million years probably like everyone else thought that I would ever be in this situation. I totally understand that you want to stay in bed we all do what we think works It’s the most horrible thing that can happen I’ve noticed since Maria passed if I’m out and I see someone walking along alone I think I wonder what your story is Is it the same as mine or do you choose to be alone? I think going out for meals is another hard one as very rarely do you see someone eating alone Silly things that you take for granted as a couple become totally traumatic alone.
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I think that’s a problem for us all. I put it down to the fact that we worked during the week and the weekends meant that we did things together, housework, shopping even going away was started and hinished at weekends. So when I go out at the weekends, all you see are people going about the things as we used too. Even though I have gone into retirement several years early so do the stuff we used to do at weekends during the week, to be fair, it takes me a lot longer, don’t know how she used to all the stuff in such a short time! , I still dread the weekends, purely due to the association of what it meant.
Wish I knew the answer, suppose, I will just have to suck it up with all the other things.
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One day we might feel we have the answer on how to cope, but right now you can’t imagine it possible, keep plodding on, in the nightmare
Hi Simon i am so sorry for your loss, I lost my partner on the 26th of February 2 days before my 60th birthday and Tony was 61, he wasn’t particularly unwell but had been having issues with getting out of breath, I had taken him to the hospital Thursday morning for a ECG but I found him Friday morning and he had died, the shock & Anger I felt at first was bad enough then the pain of knowing I will never see him or hear him again has been unbearable along with guilt , I have had counseling and it has helped and I write on this site and chat about him whenever I can , one day at a time but keep writing on here xx
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Hello Simon 1 , I’m so sorry you have lost your partner to one of the most horrendous cancers , my husband to fought multiple myloma it a cruel cancer he fought hard he had chemotherapy for 7 months but he eventually did get into remission, but he just died sleeping . So after fighting and winning he still died . Your grief that your feeling is a terrible thing to go through , it’s like a road that doesn’t end . I lost Dave on 31march this year but it’s like last week . You will cry buckets for weeks and months on end but you will come to realise that everyone of us on this site we are all on the same grief road and we go along slowly and sadly . Being on this group is helping me I know my Daves died but I can’t accept it yet and I don’t know how long it’s going to take .You will find that every emotion that your feeling one or many of us has had the same thing happen to them . Your not alone we all know how your feeling we’ve been there also . People will tell you you will get better , you will eventually but your suffering and grieving for your sole mate and that is normal . It’s 4 months for me and I cry buckets for my rock my sole mate my love of my life and don’t let anyone stop you . You will always find someone who has stood in your shoes we’re part of a special group joined by grief and losing the love of our lives . I hope you have help and comfort from your family and friends. Stay safe your in my thoughts. If you want to chat I’m here and I particularly understand this terrible disease we fought it for 2years . MM is horrendous.God Bless Pauline
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