Lost my mum and can't seem to move on

Hi all

My mum passed away in front of my eyes nearly three years ago. She was my best friend and my rock. I suffer from chronic depression and she was the only one who could bring me out of it. Since I lost her I’ve become completely isolated I cry all the time. My relationship broke up last year and so am bringing up my son alone now however due to my depression he seems to spend more time with his dad than with me so I sit in a flat 24/7 with no one to talk to. I miss my mum so much I wasn’t ready for her to leave me but couldn’t watch her suffer anymore. I feel completely lost without her. I feel I’m no longer living just waiting for my own time to come so I can see her again.

I lost my mum a week before christmas and have been devasted since. I am alone in the house now with all mums things. I was her 24/7 carer and finding it hard to leave the house at all. Sending hugsx

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When she was here she lived in Spain. We skyped each other twice a day every day, so it didn’t really feel like she was in another country. Then in 2016 she was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She vowed to come home. She got the all clear that the cancer had gone into remission and started planning her return. She arrived back in England on the 12th July 2017. And from the moment she arrived she wasn’t well three weeks later she was admitted to hospital and told her cancer had returned but this time it was terminal. I feel cheated. I was meant to have my mum back to go shopping with to do things with the kids to have birthdays and Christmases etc but on the 29th August 2017 she passed away with me holding her hand. It’s something I will and can never ever forget. I spent the next year trying t do things I knew my mum would approve of she would’ve done anything to make me happy. But nothing I did filled the massive void she’d left. No one comes close to filling that. I’m so lost in my loneliness and grief from losing her she was all the family I had. I have a brother but we aren’t close. My mum was everything to me you see I lost my dad when I was 7 so it was just mum and me for most of my life.

Dear Lisajan, mums are special people, aren’t they? It’s just over 7 years since I lost my mum. I’ll always miss her. Me and my sister often talk about her and invariably end up laughing. Mum was so funny, but without realising it. She was 85 when she died. She had suffered many health problems for years but I still thought she was invincible and would be here forever. Their loss leaves a big hole in our lives. Stay on this site Lisajan and hopefully you’ll get the support and comfort you clearly need. Sending you love, strength and understanding. :kissing_heart:

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Sorry wrong thread