Lost my mum and my heart is broken


I’m new to this site and I lost my beautiful mum nearly 3 weeks ago. I was also mums full time carer for the last 5 years and now everything just feels hopeless and like I’ve lost my purpose in life. I feel completely lost. We were so close. She was my best friend and we had a special bond. Know it’s so raw, but the pain inside without her is horrendous and I can’t stop crying. It’s so hard. Can’t explain to anyone how I feel.


I am so sorry about your mum.I lost my mum last Dec and I too was her carer.She was 89 but a young 89. I still feel the pain like it was yesterday and cry every day.
Just want to say this site is a lifeline.Post as often as you can and reach out to people. Everyone on here has gone through this awful pain of grief and it has helped me knowing there are people who understand.
This is the raw time you are going through and there is so much to do. I would say take your time,rest whenever you can,put yourself first and take small steps each day.
Life is never going to be the same so the first thing you need to do is look after yourself and get stronger so you can deal with everything.
It is only natural to cry and cry.I know I did and looked and felt a mess for weeks.Your mum would want you to be strong though and you will get through all this.
Will check on you tom x
Deborah x


@Di-678 I’m so sorry for the pain of your loss. It’s truly heartbreaking when you lose a much loved Mum. It’s hard to work out who you are anymore. It’s still very early days for you, so give yourself time to process everything and slowly adjust. I’m 8 months into the adjustment phase and there are still days when it all feels very hard. I’ve spent months living on autopilot and not really feeling any interest or joy. Things have happened and I have been so aware that my Mum has missed it all. Take each day as it comes and give in to whatever you feel emotionally. Gradually, bit by bit, you’ll realise that things are easier as you somehow learn to live with your grief. Take care xx

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@seychelles and @Rosiepink thank you both so much for your replies. I am so sorry you have also both lost your mum. You know it will happen one day, but you’re never prepared for it are you. Thank you for listening.


Hi I’m also new to this page I lost my mum just over 3 months ago and I thought I was doing ok up until these last few weeks the grief is so overwhelming I’m struggling come to terms with loosing her the way I did and the emotions and feeling of emptiness and my life just doesn’t feel real no more everything is just a blurred and I feel so alone and lost now in this world :broken_heart::broken_heart:


@Woowoo am so sorry to hear you have lost your mum too. It’s just horrendous isn’t it. Everything you have said is just how I feel. There’s a horrible void inside now and everything feels just pointless. I feel like am going mad with the gut wrenching pain inside. Just want to hug my mum. No wonder they say grief makes you feel like you’re going crazy. Am wandering around the house like a lost soul, with no motivation to do anything. Memories of mum everywhere I go. Just want you to know you are not alone in how you feel.


Hi Di-678,
You are welcome. How are you feeling today ?

@Woowoo grief seems to go in phases I’ve found… sometimes I can get through a week or two and I feel neutral, but then others I remember little details that send me through a whirlwind of emotions. Triggers are everywhere! I’m currently having to grit my teeth through the horrendously long process of selling my Mum’s house. It feels like it will never be done, there has been delay after delay. Meanwhile I have to go and check on the empty house and maintain the garden. The house resounds with her absence and still smells of her. It’s torturous to open the door and force myself into that empty space. I keep telling myself that this time will be over one day, it’s the only thing that keeps me going. That and the thought that I’m doing this for my Mum. Best wishes xx

@seychelles, Deborah, thank you so much for asking. Not good to be honest. Know it’s early days, but just can’t get my head round the fact that she’s gone. Feel like my heart has been torn in two. Memories of mum all around the house and anywhere I go outside. Know I just have to take each day as it comes. X


Hi Di-678,
That is all you can do and you will get through it although it will be so difficult. You have no choice to be honest so just try to put a small plan into place for each day. Its the only way to survive the awful rawness at the beginning. The only person who would help me through all this is my mum . I try to imagine her urging me on but its so hard
Thinking of you
Deborah x


@seychelles Deborah thank you for your kind message. I know and mum would hate to see me like this and would want me to get on with my life, but right now the thought of her not being with me seems impossible. Hopefully I will get through it and in time it will get a bit easier to deal with. Grief is horrible. Take care. X

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Hi I lost my mum to cancer almost 8 wk ago I’m broken and hide my feelings most of time I have my moments we’re I just break down I miss her like hell I see her face all time more so wen I close my eyes she was my rock it was so quick she died from getting results of her illness was wks she wanted to die at home so I found her dead on 3rd of august at 8.10 am on that morning I found her I feel lost lonely mum was only 73 if. Heaven had visiting times I’d deffo go to see her everyday I truly would my life now is full of pain wish I could have her bk with me even our dogs miss her cancer needs to go away for ever it’s so mean and takes all the good ppl away xx

Sorry for your loss. I lost my mum 3 weeks ago to. I hate the way Iam feeling. But mum would want me to carry on. I hate life at th moment . People from here have been very supportive and kind words.

@Michael73 thank you. Sorry that you have also lost your mum. I feel the same as you in that I also hate life without my mum right now. It’s just horrible. I’m so glad I’ve found this site and can express how I feel to people going through the same thing. Take care. x

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Sorry for ur loss I no how u feel my life so empty to with out my mum why does this horrid Vance take good ppl life stinks at times lost my mum nr 8 wk ago n feels like a life time since I had my last words with her I found my mum dead that was the worst thing iv ere had to see I really want my mum home wish I could see her n hood her n to tell her I love her

Hello Maxine my mum was hit by a car and the driver fled the the scene of the accident. Mum did not have a chance. The police told me even it was a 20 or 30 year old they would not have survived


My mum was hit by a car. So Iam finding it hard at the moment. I also suffer from depression and anxiety as well . Not doing good most days I want to just sleep . I do think of mum a lot and the good times we had and the bad times as well.

Hi Micheal sorry about ur mum did they ever catch the. Driver who did that to ur mum I hope he got what he deserves if police got him hope they did

Hi Maxine ,
Yes they did. But he tried to flee the scene. He was caught and been charged

Hi Di-678,
Hi apologies as only now am checking posts on here.
You will get through it but it will be such a tough journey.
I am actually at my mum’s house tonight and just can’t stop crying. I try to imagine her upstairs when j see her empty armchair. I keep telling my husband is this real and how has all this happened.
My mum was 89 and I knew this would happen one day but I just wasn’t ready. I have been sorting through her personal things here today and it’s been heartbreaking. I am determined to keep everything. Have piled loads into bags and will fill the car tom. I will sort them back at my house as it’s too painful here.
I just wish I could turn the clock back.
I hope mum can see me and I hope she helps me get through all this sorting
Am thinking of you
Deborah x