Lost my mum

My name is Debbie I lost my mum 5 weeks ago ,I am just struggling so much,it was unexpected we had to break In and I found her passed away on the chair, :disappointed: it’s haunted me ever since ,I tried to be strong for my daughter and sister but it’s like it’s all building in my head and I’m feeling worse.


Dear Pepsi56

I’m a volunteer on here and want to say I’m so glad you have reached out to us at Sue Ryder. What a terrible, heartbreaking time you have had. It’s bad enough to lose your Mum, but to have found her without warning is a physical shock as well as an emotional one.

Have you sought help through your doctor? Maybe you need to do this, there are many services available to the bereaved these days, including our own Sue Ryder Counseling line.

Or Sudden provides support after a sudden death incl. useful resources for adults and children: http://www.suddendeath.org
This may help your daughter and sister too.
I hope this helps. We are always here for you.

best wishes

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Debbie. Sending you care and kind thoughts. That must have been so terrible, I’m sorry. My situation was different when my mum died 6 months ago but I know the pain of losing your mum. Those early weeks and months particularly are unbelievably hard.
Hang on in there and you will get through it. I hope you get the support you need. Look after yourself.

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So Sorry for your loss xx
I Know how your feeling and I feel for you I really do .
My mum died last July !
She had COPD we knew it was coming but obviously not exactly when and me and my 3 siblings and dad cared for her at home .
It was a massive shock to us all when it did happen at home and was truly awful and I still can’t quite believe it !!
I was with mum with my aunt dad and sister when mum passed and I go over and over and over every detail of it constantly , it wasn’t nice !
I hate it without my mum here with me
It’s so hard . We were so close
I have 2 daughters and a grandson and a family but it don’t matter I just want her back

Seems to get worse not better !
I miss her and I hate my life without her in it
Also doesn’t help that my family has fallen apart arguing and it’s all different now …
You are in the early early stages atm so don’t be too hard on yourself
And u don’t need to stay strong
People always say this !!??
I don’t know why tbh it’s mad
Cry if u want to
Scream do whatever’s gonna get u thru this horrible time
U need to deal with it the best way u can
Every minute every hour every day one at a time
Just get up breathe and live the day
Then start again the next day

We’re in very raw stages atm u more than me just 5 weeks
Still in shock especially as it was so sudden
I’m sorry for u
And if u need to talk I’m here
Zoe xx💔xx
We will be ok

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Hia Zoe , Thank you for your message ,I totally agree with everything you have written ,my mum also had COPD ,I cared for her at home along with my sister,I new something was wrong ,but my mam been my mam said she was ok ,:disappointed:she always protected us from anything ,I saw her everyday,spoke everyday, Friday morning I couldn’t get in ,her curtains were shut ,I new in the pit of my stomach I new,but maybe just maybe she had fallen down stairs , couldn’t reach her phone,I had to break in ,there she was all alone in her chair,bent forward I thought she was just reaching for something ,but she,d gone ,my heart broke and I new nothing would ever be the same ,the image of her is haunting my head night and day ,like you I go over every detail again and again ,my sister who is older went to peices so I had to be strong ,I have a daughter 17 to support aswell ,so I went into auto pilot,done everything ,but now I’m falling to pieces,my sister is selfish ,it’s all about her ,so I keep my thoughts to myself,I’ve had to go back to work as I couldn’t not do , money wise ,but feel guilty,I’m sorry for your loss you remind me of me , everything you said I feel ,I would do anything to have her back ,as you would, people say I’m there for you ,just message me etc but in reality there not ,I’m just going through the motions like you hour ,day ,I hope you are ok? You are struggling yourself,and when people say oh it gets easier ,for us that isn’t the case, Thank you for your message and letting me rant ,
Take care of yourself
Debbie xx

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