@TJ14@Jan17 I am so sorry you find yourself here. The pain of losing your soulmate is actually so disorientating and physical it takes your breath away. I am so sorry for your loss.
My darling man died suddenly in January from a chest infection that turned into sepsis. From working the day before he suddenly became unwell and passed 11 hours later. I think the first few weeks I was in shock, it all seemed surreal and I was expecting to wake up from this terrible nightmare. I lost my sense of self and confidence
I am lucky to have a wonderful, supportive family and great circle of friends, who have remained amazingly loyal and consistent, and always there when I need them. The most wonderful gift has been the new friends I have made on the site, people who unconditionally give support, brought together through grief, but wonderfully generous in their ability to provide us with hope for the future. People like @KarenF ; @Mike75@Vancouver and many others.
12 weeks in my journey, I have found shafts of light, like going a few hours without tears, moments when I do find ‘me’ and I am learning to smile again. I am comforted in that my husband did not have to experience the pain of loss, so I am determined to live my life as a testament to the love we shared.
You will find your way, with patience, love and time. With love xx
Sandi thank you so much for sharing your pain and the possibility of shafts of light returning to what feels like the end of my world now my darling Rich has gone.
It all seems so unreal and I literally feel like the pain is an actual weight on my chest.
My 2 lovely kids are grieving so much for the best dad they could have ever had and close friends are trying their best to keep us going and offer hope for the future.
I’ve had to hide a lot of his things in cupboards around the house as it’s just too painful to see. The constant images in my head of him everywhere in the past are torture enough. I keep needing to look at him on my phone and then sobbing.
Sending so much love and thanks for sharing and supporting
T x
I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my soul mate 6 months ago after 24 years together. There is nothing that resembles losing a partner. You feel it from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to sleep. Your daily routine, your plans and dreams, your shared memories, all gone.
I have a life now, but like you, it’s not one I want to live. I hope you find moments of relief and peace
Thank you for your support.
The sadness just feels so overwhelming, now with flashes of panic that I’m really not going to see him again. It’s really hard to fight that off.
It would have been our wedding anniversary today too, me and my kids have spent most of the day cuddling up on the sofa. Time doesn’t seem to matter now, I’m just hoping for those moments of peace and some form of normal I can live with in the future xx
Isn’t it . I seem to be going backwards 5 weeks in the pain today has been so intense. I’ve cried & shouted a Bry and begged him to just come and get me . I’m really struggling big time today . I’ve got my first counselling session Tuesday & I’m so close to cancelling it as not sure if it’s too soon xx
I completely understand those flashes of panic @TJ14 it suddenly overwhelms you that you are not ever going to see them, but I really do believe that one day we will be together again . I hope your grief was kind to you today, just remember small steps, even minute by minute, and slowly and gradually you will find you can manage the days. Your 2 lovely kids will help you find your way, and Rich will be with you willing you on. Take care xxx
I know what you mean @Bluebell47 …it’s like having a new life which you don’t want and hate and you want your old life back where you were happy. I lost my husband suddenly. He was 53. Went to work on the Saturday and said I see you tomorrow and on the Sunday I miss him by a few minutes. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. All our future plans and dreams are gone. Life is so unfair and cruel. Wish I could turn the clock back or wake up from this awful nightmare. I can’t believe that I will never see my handsome husband again. Every day and every minute I think of my hubby. I am always crying and seeing my son broken is a double grief. Big hugs xx
So sorry @Hazel.1966 that you find yourself here too and you didn’t get to do all those things you had planned with your husband. It is such early days for you for me it is only 12 weeks, so I still feel the rawness of it, but there are moments when I feel I have taken a step forward, and someday you will too, you just need patience, support and love, which I send to you in abundance xx
It’s just the worst isn’t it . I’m 53 too and my kids are 32 & 23. They are being so strong but grieving too. I know they don’t want to lose their mum too but I feel like a weight around their necks I’m so
Miserable
My son still lives at home and I feel like there is so much pressure in him now to be the man of the house and he has his whole life ahead of him
I honestly think if I wasn’t here they would in time be able to get on with their lives without worrying about me xx
I don’t think it’s too soon to seek professional support. Accepting support is something I’ve never been good at but I’ve realised this level of pain really needs all the help it can get. Maybe try the counselling session,but be kind to yourself if you decide it’s not what you need at this very moment.
X
Thank you @sandi for your kind words. It is 17 weeks for me but feel so raw. I just can’t believe this has happened. I’m finding it difficult to accept that I will never see my hubby again. Sending you big hugs xx
@PollyjaneW my son is 22. He went out on Saturday got very drunk and had a massive break down. He was brought home at 1am in the morning by 2 responders. Just breaks my heart to see him suffering so much. He was with his dad when he died and was let down by the ambulance service who didn’t keep him on the phone to give him instructions because he sounded calm. The call handler didn’t follow the collapse tool. The out come still would of been the same but he wouldn’t of had to go through being on his own and I wouldn’t of come home to apply CPR on my husband. Just so terrible. X
Oh how awful for him and then you . As hard as it was that I found Bry I’m so glad it wasn’t my son . I also told them not to go in to the bathroom as it wasn’t a nice sight so my heart breaks for you both xxx
@PollyjaneW It is the worst pain ever, and I know it is so hard to see a future right now, but I am certain your kids would be devastated if you were not here. My sons and daughter are being so strong and really supportive, but I know they are grieving too, They worry about me as your children will you, they may also fear losing you and want to protect you It sounds as if you have a wonderful family, and they will always need you, particularly now as you share and go through this grieving process together. Much love xxx
I know its so tough isnt it i hate being without him ! Itd rotten luck too cos they were too young !! Why are some people like my mum and dads age alive at 83 and he had to go at 60 … its just not.fair xx
and then you . As hard as it was that I found Bry I’m so glad it wasn’t my son . I also told them not to go in to the bathroom as it wasn’t a nice sight so my heart breaks for you both xxx 