That was what I was shouting out today , I thought I was a decent person but what did I do to deserve this 
xxxx
2 Likes
@Deb5 like my husband who was 53 and my parents who are 84 and 83. When I go shopping and see elderly people walking around I think that isn’t fair that my husband has gone. Bitter I know 
2 Likes
It’s hard not to be sadly . I feel bitter too when I see people together & people I know who are not very nice people yet my caring loving husband has been taken xxxxx
2 Likes
@PollyjaneW yes just so unfair that we got chosen. My husband just paid the mortgage off, got a new job and enjoyed relaxing at home with a larger at the weekends. Such a generous funny handsome man.
1 Like
I don’t want my new life without my amazing wife either. The best friend I ever had. But you must at least try to let time do its thing. I’m truly in a better place emotionally now than I was a few months ago. I still have plenty of crying my eyes out moments and often find it impossible to digest what’s happened, but I’m slowly having more of the better days. I know only too well how hard it can be, but you need to ask yourself what your husband would want you to do? Time will help, or at least help you to live easier with the pain. Take care
7 Likes
EXACTLY the same . Mortgage gone , left the RAC after 30 years and started a job with less hours and weekends off for the first time 9 months into a new job &now he’s gone
We lost his mum in 2017
My Dad in 2018
My daughters marriage broke down 2019
2021 he had a really bad year work wise
I have cared for my mum with dementia since losing dad & Jan 30th 2023 had to put her in a care home where she really settled.
We were just starting to relax a little and the. 22nd March he left this world .
I just wonder what the point of life is 
xxx
3 Likes
@Mike7 thank you. I also feel a lot of guilt which isn’t helping me move on with my grief. I find I am looking for answers as had no closure due to my husband suddenly died at the age of 53. It is so so hard and unfair.
2 Likes
Thank you for some reassurance 
I feel guilt too . Could I have missed something / done something? He always wanted to help me - did he do too much ??
If only , could I .? Should I ?
xx
1 Like
@PollyjaneW sounds so similar to me.
2019 I was in hospital for 2 weeks with severe cellulitis.
2020 I lost my mother in law.
2021 my husband had a nasty fall and smashed his elbow to pieces and broke 2 ribs which I am sure which mask his pain
2022 we celebrated our 25tg wedding anniversary then 2 months later he was gone.
He had his new job for 6 weeks. X
@Hazel.1966 we do sound very similar ,
Sounds like we have both had a few rough moments
when Bry was going through a lot of work we had been . To a party and had a few too many he fell & hit the back if his head was put in induced coma for 24 hours . Luckily he was home within 4 days . I ask why let him pull through that and snatch him a year later ??
Not saying it would have been less painful BUT I would not have so many unanswered questions niw xx
Are you goibg throughr the " what if " stage hazel ? When youre thinking what if id done this and what if id done that ? Its awful isnt it ? You beat yourself up and wonder how you coulve stopped it hsppenening ? I done that too ? My husband hadnt been right for a while and had been plagued with various health problems but i knew something wasnt right for a while and i feel so guilty i didnt MAKE him go to Dr’s … he did eventually but it was too late and in the end they couldnt save him and that’s why i feel awful however in this horrible post covid climate and the fact we have a woefully crap NHS i dont blame it all on myself i think its also the terrible health care we have in this country ! 
and as for your husband you couldn’t have known this was gonna happen to him so dont feel guilty ! But one thing for sure its so sad we lost these men who meant so very much to us and our children : ( xx
1 Like
My husband had had a cataract operation done in May and by December hes left this world … you cant believe it can you
Terrible @Deb5 and so sad. Life is definitely not fair. I so sorry for your loss. I have PM you
Big hugs xx
1 Like
I know what you mean as my husband accident was 20 months previously and fell 3 meters and just missed his tools. He had the COVID vaccine 2 days previously and felt dizzy. He could of died then but no they came and got him later 
I am truly sorry for your very recent loss. Nothing can prepare you for the shock and void that opens up instantly. The only advice I can offer after losing my beloved husband of 33 years just over 2 months ago is don’t ever lie when asked about how you’re doing. Having someone or somewhere (like here) you can rant or listen be heard certainly helps. You don’t just lose your partner/soulmate and best friend - you lose the hopes and dreams you held as a couple for the future. Especially at your age. I’m 62 and had only been retired 6 months when I lost my darling husband two weeks into his chemo. I hope your family and friends provide the strength, love and support you’ll need over the coming days/weeks/months - and for however long you need. Take care of yourself at this terrible time 
5 Likes
Reading through this thread of lovely people who are suffering horribly is making me realise that it’s ok to feel all those things you’ve all said. Guilt that I didn’t force him to go to the doctors sooner, then the cancer might not have taken such a hold of him. I’m so angry that my hypercondriac mother and mother in law( who is forever telling everyone she wants to die) are still alive when my beautiful funny caring man isn’t. I don’t want to sound bitter but I can’t help it.
My heart goes out to all of you xx
6 Likes
It’s ok to be bitter . We are hurting so much . I’m very bitter about everything & life in itself.
My sweet mum has dementia & after feeling unwell it’s spiralled. I’ve not told her about Bry , no point but I know she would swap places with him in a heartbeat if she could .
I dragged myself to see her Tues ( I think ) and it was as if she knew the way she hugged me and Kept running her fingers through my hair xx
2 Likes