@Rammie
It’s such a personal choice . I first did it with my Dad as I remember when my Gran passed I couldn’t get my head around she was in the coffin .
I went to see Bry A LOT , it’s hard when you first walk in & see them but is strangely feels quite peaceful at the same time ( it did for me anyway)
I spoke to him , shouted , kissed , hugged , apologised for all the silly things during a marriage & played our wedding song to him .
The hardest part was when I went to see him the day before his funeral because I knew it was the last time I’m could physically touch him . It’s not for everyone so if you can’t don’t beat yourself up .
I feel the pain losing my husband has been devastating , i do wish it was me and not him , he died suddenly aged 43 . Im week 13 and it feels like it happened yesterday
@Taz21 I lost my husband suddenly a week before Christmas. He was 53. Had just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. No closure and no answers. All our future plans and dreams are gone just like that. I thought we had 25/30 years together. I’m so sorry for your loss. Life is so unfair and cruel. Hate my new life which I wasn’t prepared for. I find it harder at the weekend and bank holidays. I have a few good friends who include my son and myself in their plans which is a slight distraction but then you still got to go home into the empty lonely house. Take care and big hugs xx
So well described. Most of us are probably normally positive people, so we look to try to find a positive in this god awful situation. We accept offers of company, we try to help ourselves by completing little tasks or going out, and then we return to the tears, silence and empty space that once contained our life! Sorry to sound negative but this is such hard work, I hate my new life! I try every day , but I look back and it was so lovely just to be happy, no effort just loved every minute together. I wish someone could help us all.
Life is so unbearable im just so sad my life is now just pain and saddness im so lonely. Before i loved long weekends now im dreading them as they are reminders of what ive lost. Nothing is ever going to bring me joy again. Im just so lost without him, i somtimes think he will come home and we will all be together again. My children need their dad , he was the best
Its horrible, this heaviness the anxiety thr sleepless nights the hopelessness, i sometimes ask God why he did this we were good people why cause this separation, as days are going on i feel worser
@Tiffany don’t be sorry it is hard and definitely a life changing situation we didn’t choose. I once used to be a confident out going person who love to organise get togethers and social activities. I now can’t be with to many people, a lot of noise and listen to music as to many reminders and triggers. Life is so shite and feel so lonely without my husband who was funny, generous and kind. He was the last person I saw at night and the first person I saw in the morning. How I wish this is all a nightmare and I will wake up and say Wow what a dream. I find the reality of never seeing him again is making me so so sad. I do try and keep busy and will be joining a bereavement support group which will last for 8 weeks. Hopefully same sort of age as me and not all elderly person who have lost their partners in their eighties. I know that might sound harsh but I would of accepted the lost of my husband if he had lived to a old age. X
@Taz21 totally agree such a lonely place now. I do wonder what we did wrong to deserve such pain and why did our partners deserved to lose their lives which I struggle with the most. X
We have been left lost and empty nothing will ever be the same again, parts of us died with them . We are forever changed and forever scarred by our losses
@PollyjaneW thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience. I am in two minds still. I haven’t arranged the actual date for the funeral yet. So I still have some time.
Another day ahead, gives me anxiety ever morning i wake up , thats if i can get to sleep in a panic. Then the days seems too long to get through, my friends tell me to do something that gives me joy. Nothing is giving me any joy at all . Its the 1st May im still stuck in Jan the morning he died. How is time moving when my life stopped
Exactly i just wish he was here with me , what i want is the impossible, and therefore i will never have joy in my life again ever , life is no a counting days to when i die , I’ve just turned 43 and i pray that i too die in my sleep i didn’t want a life without him. I invested 25 years into our marriage and now our children were adults as we had them young , he dies, all my plans my hopes my dreams of growing old together and watching our children and our hard work all gone. Im forever changed i feel robbed betrayed by God, i look around and think why did God take a fit healthy 43 year old so sudden in his sleep. He never ever had any issue ever and then he just dies. Why me why my children why my life ,i guess i will never get these answers but i know my life is not worth living without him.
