Lost my Wife to Cancer 6 days ago. Devastated beyond belief.

I Lost my Wife last Tuesday after a 16 month battle with Cancer after 31 years together. She was my Wife, my Best friend, my Soulmate, my whole world. I cannot describe the pain I feel, my Life feels so empty now. She was the light of my life, I can’t stop crying, knowing that I’ll never see or speak to her again is ripping my heart to shreds :broken_heart: i am devastated beyond belief, my Son, Daughter & Grandchildren are also suffering this immense loss & I am struggling to see a way forward without her :cry::cry:

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I am so sorry for you loss, all I can say is keep posting on here and talking. This place really is somewhere where you can ask the questions you may feel you can’t anywhere else.
I lost my beautiful partner Lee 5 weeks ago he was only 42, so I am very much at the start of this awful journey. I have felt every emotion, anger, sadness, fear and numbness. I still feel like it’s all so pointless but know in time however long it takes I will smile a little more and remember our amazing memories without so much grief and longing to see him again. Sending lots of well wishes your way!

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@VillaBoy22 so sorry for your loss. You have a hard journey ahead of you but please know it does improve. It’s been over 7 months since my husband passed away from cancer. I have some good days now. The grief becomes less all consuming and I’m able to function again. I still have some bad days but they are further apart. Lean on your friends and family and take all the help offered. I found this forum a huge help. Keep chatting. Take care.

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So terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 7 weeks ago and feel devistated knowing i wont see him again. I know your pain. Its the worst pain you will ever know. Just keep reaching out to others who understand. I wish there was an easy answer. I cry and feel so overwhelmed at times. Its normal. Speak to your doctor on a regular basis. I do and it does help a little. Wish i could offer the help we all need. Take care please.

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Mate, I’m 9 months into this after being together 45 years, she went for a bath and died. I feel like my life is over too, all we can do is take one day at a time until enough time passes when the rawness of the loss fades and the grief triggers become bitter sweet reminders of our girls.
Best wishes.

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@VillaBoy22 we feel your pain.

It’s just such an awful time, to watch them suffer, and not be able to help them and now we are heartbroken without them.

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I am so amazingly proud of both my Son ( 30 ) & Daughter ( 23 ) for how they have managed to keep themselves together in the weeks leading up to my Wife’s passing, when it became apparent that she was running out of time they both kept a positive outlook around my Wife even though they knew the situation had become hopeless.
On the evening of her passing my Daughter was looking for something upstairs & stumbled across letters that she had written for each of us, it was soul destroying to read that she had come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t going to be with us much longer,
Worse still was the fact that my Daughter only a few weeks earlier had announced to both of us that she & her Boyfriend were expecting their first child, this carried mixed emotions, from the initial elation of the news breaking to the realisation that my Wife would never get to see the child, we hid it well but it was a bitter sweet moment for sure.
All i can think of is how overjoyed my Wife would have been to see another Grandchild, her Daughter’s first, the bond between Mother and Daughter is special & i know that they would have planned everything together without us fellas getting a look in. :broken_heart::broken_heart::cry::cry:

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@VillaBoy22 so sorry for your loss it’s so heartbreaking and cruel. It’s 9 weeks Saturday since my husband passed. I’m so lost without him and feel like I’ll never stop crying. I think going back to work is my only option now as I’m so lonely. Sending you a hug.

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Thank you for the hug which is needed. So sorry you too are grieving over the loss of your husband. We are in a very lonely place inside us. Cope better while with family but cry buckets on my own. Im retired so spend time alone at times. You may feel getter going back to work but it wont be easy. Cant believe i wont see Tony again and it tears me apart. Sending a huge hug to you. Take care x

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Hi @Debbiea, I’ve been popping into my workplace to get used to going back there. I’m meeting some of my work friends too so hopefully that helps. I’m going insane at home. I have no family around me so I need to start being around people again.x

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Hi @VillaBoy22 , I’m sorry for your loss and that you’ve had to join this group but you will find a lot of support here from people who know exactly how you are feeling.

My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly in May and only a couple of weeks before , our youngest son & wife told us they were having a baby. When Andrew died we were heartbroken that he’ll never meet his grandchild.

We are now nearly 6 months on and the baby due in a few weeks and I can say that the sadness is still there but we are grateful that he knew about the baby and we are so looking forward to a little ray of sunshine in this darkness.

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So sorry for the loss of your husband. Glad he knew about baby. Im sure the baby will be a great joy to you at this time and help you come to terms with things. The baby will bring a smile and happiness at this sad time. All the best to you and your family. Take care x

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@Sam25

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.
I’m so Sorry to hear the desperately sad news of your Husband’s unexpected passing,
Although it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions for us losing my Wife, in some ways we were sort of prepared that it was a possibility at some stage whereas for you it was a total shock.
We are also devastated that my Wife will never see her new Grandchild but we cling to the hope that a new life will at least as you say bring a little Sunshine in our darkest of times. :broken_heart:

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Thank you @Debbiea , sending love to you and your family too .
There have been many dark days but I’m trying to look forward x

It was such a shock, he was taking part in a sporting event and suffered a massive heart attack and died at the scene. It was very public and traumatic and our eldest son was also taking part, I was spectating.

I have had counselling and it was very helpful in separating the trauma of that day and the grief.

Some people say it’s harder when there is no time for goodbyes and others say it’s harder to watch your loved one go through the pain and suffering of a terminal illness. All I know is the loss is still the same, devastating.

Sending love and light to you and your family xxx

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@Sam25

There is no doubt that the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life was to watch the Woman I’ve Loved for 31 years, the Mother of my children be destroyed week by week over a period of 16 months.
I will never get over seeing her go from a strong, fit, healthy woman to an absolute shell of what she once was, my heart will never heal, not only from losing her but from the trauma of what we went through together at the hands of that evil disease.
My whole life after 31 years of Marriage is in ruins & there’s nothing I can do to change that fact. :broken_heart:

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@Helen24

Thank You :heart:
Sending Love & Strength to your Family also,
I pray every night for my Wife to be at peace & that someday we can be together again wherever that may be :pray::pray::pray:

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I can’t believe what is happening in my life & to those around me.
As i mentioned in an earlier post my Daughter had revealed to my Wife & i quite early on that she & her Boyfriend were expecting their first child.
Although the announcement was bittersweet because it was unlikely that my Wife would be still with us for the birth, nonetheless we were elated for my Daughter & her fella.
Fast forward a few weeks & my Daughter has sadly suffered a miscarriage, how cruel can the world be, to lose you Mom & a child all in the space of a month.
I don’t know how much more bad news i can take honestly, i feel so devastated for my Daughter & her partner, no words can console her for what she has lost recently. I feel like we must have done something really bad in a previous life for this to have happened to us.
I’m quickly losing all hope & can’t see a way forward through this bad period.
How do things get better from here ?:broken_heart::broken_heart:

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Well understand your feelings.
My wifes ashes are to the left of me…( where she would sit ).
She lost a quick battle against cancer…late diagnosis…stage 4.
They gave us 2 years…we got 10 weeks…she passed 21st September…
Alcohol has been a friend since…( better than anti depressants)
Took three and collapsed.!!!
Luckily my son caught me falling…
Back to alcohol…!!!
I cannot give any help really…other than empathy…
Totally get what your going through…
And we are on the same path…
Its so lonely now…
My world changed in the blink of an eye it seems.
My aim now is getting the place we called home on the market and get back to family and friends in the UK.
All we worked for to retire means nothing now…
I guess my reply is not the counseling reply that you need.
But there is no reply that can help…( really ) except time one.
Had my share of well meaning clichés…
Hope somewhere in my despair you find the strength that i am not finding at the moment.
To you…!!!

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Hello, that’s devastating news, sometimes you do wonder what you’ve done to get one blow after another!

In a way the only thing I can think to say is that nothing else that happens now can be as devastating.

Your daughter is lucky that she has you as a parent to support her, which you will do & your wife will know that.

Life indeed can be really awful, we just have to plod our way through it hoping that we’ve had our share of bad times for a while.