Lost Sons

I lost my son Joe in 2014 to Cancer aged 13. He fought so hard to live but unfortunately nothing could be done and he died at home as peacefully as could be. This experience changed us as a family, I know that we couldn’t of done anymore and although devastated we were able to cope knowing this. We continued as a family but life perspective changed. We relocated to a new county and started with a fresh start. Nothing can bring joe back but we started to live our lives as he would of wanted us too. Every day was tinged with sadness but over time we started to laugh and smile and remember the good times. Bringing time forward to April 2020 and we received a visit from the Police informing us of the death of our elder son whilst at University in Scotland. As yet we are still awaiting the confirmation of cause because of the Covid situation everything is delayed. That aside this has devastated us completely with no real way of seeing a future. We would never do anything silly but I really can’t see ant way of learning how to cope with this reality. We loved our children with all our hearts and now we have nothing. I’m not really sure what else to say

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Hi Simon, I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your older son recently, after also losing your younger son Joe in 2014. That is just terrible and it is understandable you are finding it hard to see a future.

There are other bereaved parents on this site, and I hope it will help even a tiny bit to be able to talk to others who have some idea what you’re going through. I just wanted to let you know that we have another new user called @Jayne2 who posted for the first time earlier today and who has also lost two children. If you would like to talk to her, you can read and reply to her post here: Lost my 23 year old son

A user called @Steph1967 also posted back in February about losing two children: Lost 2 children

If there is anything I can help with, or you have any questions about using the site, you can contact me at online.community@sueryder.org.

Hi Simon
I lost gemma aged 32,2 years ago to suicide and then 9 months ago my son joe aged 16 died very suddenly from a brain hemorrhage. It is heartbreaking that another family is going through the trauma of losing 2 precious children .I am here if you want to talk
Steph

Dear Steph and Simon,
I feel heartbroken that you have both lost two precious children. I can’t begin to understand what you are going through. I lost my darling daughter, Gemma, to suicide 2 years ago and am only now learning how to live without her.
I am glad that you have found this wonderful site as everyone here is so caring and we are all coping with the loss of our precious children together.
I am always here and send you both a big hug xxx

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Hi simon and Steph your words and thoughts are similar to our own and I understand the agony you are Both going through, my daughter Megan was brain damaged at birth we were shocked and devastated but slowly built the best life with her there were always worries and strain but a lot of laughter and proud moments we had 2 more children which completed our family sadly Megan died suddenly in 2010 and the four of us continued our lives always with great sadness but somehow more accepting as she was disabled and had fought many battles, now just ten days ago I had a call to say something had happened to my son at his friends house we to are still waiting for confirmation of cause I’m still in shock he is everywhere I look we are devastated and so hard to see any future without him we still have our daughter and at 25 she has been through so much I am so sorry for you both nobody should face loosing a child loosing 2 is just unbelievable it feels so cruel and I too feel scared for the future as we’ve all suffered that pain before

Thank you, I am sorry for your loss xx

Hi Simon, I am so so sorry for your losses, how utterly devastating losing both your beloved boys. I am devastated after losing my precious younger son aged 22 to SADS Sudden arrhythmia death syndrome, in June this year. He was 22 nearly 23 & had everything going for him & was so happy. He was kind caring, funny & so loving. I miss him so desperately. My other son is lost without his brother who was also his best friend. I feel helpless as I can’t take his pain away :broken_heart:
Sending love and strength xx

Dear Simon,
I have been wondering how you and your wife are doing after your loss. I hope you are able to feel a little peace and move forward a little together xxx