Thanks to you all for ur understanding. I really hope you start to feel more at peace soon . It’s just so hard. X
Hi
yes it is hard, it is 3 months since my husband died, and sometimes i just stop what i am doing and think “how did this happen” I know there is no answer, but thats how i feel. I know we have to learn to adust to living without them being here and that there are many emotional stages of greif to go through, that understanding does not take the pain way, but i do know that i will learn to live with my grief. I will always love my husband.
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I’m so sorry for your loss it’s utterly devastating in my thoughts and prayers there’s no words to describe this pain and suffering take care stay safe Adele x 
How can the pain of losing my lovely husband get worse . 39 years of marriage over so suddenly it still doesn’t seem real. I go to bed and hope it’s been a bad dream and when I wake it will be back to normal .my Pete telling me love you see ya later. How can this happen.
Hi
Denial, a horible stage of grief, I am 3 months on and my head accepts that my husband has died but my heart does not. my sons feel the same, waiting for dad to reappear, (he would quite offten come back into a room and fling his arms wide open and sing “did you miss me yeah why i was away”
if you can cellerbrate your 39 years of marriage, i was married for 31 years and was very loved. 
It’s been a bad two days lots of crying and doubts about how much Pete loved me. Everyone Telling me how silly it is as we were married so long and it was obviousl that he loved me it’s just so hard as you all know. I spoke to my doctor for an hour and he is going to give me medication to take the edge of the grief.feel like I can’t bear it anymore.
It’s like a living hell isn’t it ? I just want my old life back and feel so guilty that I took everything for granted. My lovely husband of 38 years, left for work and didn’t come home. The shock and grief is just as raw 6 months on and I wonder what my life is all about from now on. I miss him so much and the enormity of my loss hits me wave after wave. My best friend who has your back no matter what, that comfortable feeling when you may not even speak …I just cant bear it. Wonder if I should see my doctor. Cant believe I am even on this site, this happens to other people, except it doesn’t.
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Yes it’s just awful I can’t imagine the rest of my life with out my husband.some days are bearable but not many .time flies and life goes on no matter how much I want to turn the clock back. I just want him back. You should speak to your doctor they might be able to help.Or at least offer some options.
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I am no stranger to grief, i have experinced the pain of it in many ways, i too have wanted the world to stop, for the pain to stop. I was told that grief is like a rough sharp stone, which is embeded in your chest, as it turns it rips you apart, after time the sharp and rough edges sofen, you will always carry the stone in your chest and once in a while a sharp bit will give you a poke. I hope this helps, sheila, X
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I lost mine on the 25th of July also from a heart attack. I am walking through mud and in the worst pain of my life. I do not know how to move forward. No one ever tells you it will be like this.
So sorry for your loss.
I lost my partner in April, to a heart attack 2 weeks into lockdown.
I still can’t believe it and wait to hear his key in the lock. I was numb & didn’t eat for days. I am so grateful to my dog who actually kept me going, I had to get out of bed so she could go out.,walking has helped but there are days when I can’t people and she has to make do with the garden. Reading everyones experiences here also helps. Its hard to talk to family and friends because they don’t understand, but here we are all going on a similar ride, one we don’t want to be on.
Much love and peace to you all.xx
I finally went back to work yesterday but it’s hard. For the first time I left work and my lovely husband Pete wasn’t there waiting to drive me home.i miss him so much. I dreamed that he came home and wanted to know why I was crying.i told him I had a terrible dream that he was dead. I wish with all my heart that is was just a bad dream but it’s not.And I know he’s never going to come home.
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Coming home is a tough hurdle but now I tell Gordon about my day. It helps a little. I had a tough day today, first day back to work (school). It was so overwhelming having spent the past 6 weeks practically on my own and then be surrounded by 80 people. It all got too much but everyone was so lovely. We lost Gordon’s brother to suicide 4 weeks ago,almost 4 months to the day when Gordon died. And having his daughter tell me I should have processed what happened and that I should be sorting his stuff, it really has been hard.
Sorry I’ve kind of gone off subject there.
X
I’m sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I also work in a school and haven’t been there for six months as iv been shielding.Everbody has been lovely but they just don’t understand what it’s like to lose the love of my life.Take care x
Love and peace to you Lost 50. I am finding Christmas time excruciatingly painful. I cannot write a card because there will only be one name on it. No gifts either. Trying to just work through the holidays and forget they are happening.
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My husband died of a heart attack 9 Mondays ago holding my hand on our bed I am in now. I pulled him on the ground and did chest compressions 20 minutes, paramedics continued 50 minutes.
Can’t believe I’m not making that up or that it’s not the start of a sick joke. That is real. I became a vastly different person in the time I knew him, stronger, proud, direct. Not wishy washy and sorry to everyone for my presence like when I was young.
We were together from 2003 when I was 23. Now I’m 40 and feel along with him I lost the bits I liked of me. All the best bits are gone like he never existed and I am back as that timid thing I was. So scared of everything. Not knowing anything. No hero to save me now. I love him so much and forever. The only thing I want is the one thing I can never have.
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My heart breaks for you. I lost my husband of 40 years when he was 63 from a sudden and unexpected heart attack. This was 11 months ago and it just hurts as if it was yesterday …our plans , Hope’s and dreams for the future just gone…I too feel lost and more alone than I could have ever dreamed. Just look after yourself and do what you can, when you can. I wish I could offer you more words of comfort. X
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It would have been my 35th wedding Anniversary today but my darling husband collapsed and died 7 weeks ago, a super fit 61 year old. We were walking miles from anywhere & I too tried CPR. Today I suddenly had a Complete meltdown in front of my 29 year old son who is here for Christmas
I could not stop crying, gave in completely to despair & the feelings that I just cannot go on without him. That I don’t want to, I don’t want to wake up in the morning
I know I’ve really worried & scared him but I just couldn’t stop.
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I too was in my mid 40s when I was widowed the first time. Six months later I met the most wonderful kind brilliant man and we married and had 24 years of wonderful life. Now he too has just died 5 weeks ago. I feel so sad and lost but you never lnow what might turn up in life. You are young enough…
Totally get this, its 13 weeks this weds since my darling Ste passed.Some days i get through better than others, my friend helps a lot as her hubby passed 8 yrs ago she totally understands what i am going through.Some days(or nights) are a blur of tears, others i feel him around me.I feel like my life has turned upside down in just over 3 months.Sending love & hugs, i echo what you say i will always love my husband x