I am so so sorry for your loss it is so unfair and cruel! I lost my husband on the 6th September following very sudden diagnosis of cancer and sadly lost his battle just 6 weeks after being told… we have 3 children. He turned 40 July, and we were together 20 years, I thought we had forever to go and now he’s just never coming back and I’m in constant pain/torture… sending all my love to you and your little boy
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Yep … hard by yourself isnt it 
xx
Same … 6 weeks to say goodbye brutal xx
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awful!! We had no signs, he was so fit and healthy and went into hospital the 27th July with some stomach pains. To be told the 28th he had bowel, liver lung and suspected lymph node cancer! We just couldn’t believe it… went from being told he may have up to 2 years with treatment to a few days later being told there was nothing and he then received palliative care… he stayed in hospital for 5 weeks, went into hospice 1st September and passed away in my arms the 6th… I still don’t feel we’ve even processed he had cancer. Let alone losing him forever. I just can’t believe this has happened, he was our world, my little girl was 9 the day he went into hospital! And she misses her daddy so much 
it’s just so cruel xx
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Yep my husband same. He was looking so well on our holiday just before he went into hospital … i look at his picture at end of july and just cant believe i would not have him by xmas !!! They messed about did drs for 2 months until they found aggressive bladder cancer stage 3/4 it was too late to treat they said in end ! Just breaks your heart doesnt it ? I cant believe they couldnt save him … And we’re left without our lovely man x
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It’s just so wrong! Shaun was told so many different things, first being told possibly 2 years with treatments then that same day he had to have emergency surgery so would have to have a few weeks recovery before even starting chemo. Then he had an infection and cancerous clots to lungs so had to get them under control. He was so mentally strong and determined to get treatment and I honestly thought he would. To then being told his liver was completely shut down… I look back at the pictures and just can’t believe them, seeing him deteriorate in such a small space of time! the last few days were awful but he tried so so hard bless him! He waited for me to tell him it was ok and to rest and the moment I did and kissed him, he just went. I would give anything to have him back and just can’t believe me and the children have to go on in life without him! He was our hero and I never thought we’d lose him.
I’m so sorry your going through this too, I really am xxx
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Oh i know. Its actually really worrying that they don’t even seem to know what they’re bloody doing ! They told my husband it was nothing sinister !( If i had known it WAS sinister i wouldve paid for him to go private !!! ) Then they find bladder cancer ! Its our NHS too . I have no faith in it anymore tbh. Im so sorry for your husband it sounds as big a mess as my husbands care was !!! Xx
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@Scarl34 I’m so sorry that you lost your husband… what a massive shock. My husband suddenly and unexpectedly died in December. I had a phone call from my son to say that dad had collapsed. Time I got home he was gone. I did CPR until the paramedics arrived. The post mortem report came that he died of a massive rear saddle pulmonary embolism and undiagnosed kidney cancer which was in both kidneys. He was working the day before. Such a massive shock. Xx
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Shaun actually went to a private consultant the week he went into hospital as the nhs hospital had initially sent him home. Yet the liver specialist at the private health care failed to even take him serious and didn’t even do any examinations etc… just completely failed 
it may of been too advanced and too late but I still feel he was completely let down x
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Oh that’s absolutely awful and heartbreaking for you all when you lose your loved one you honestly do think your the only person in the world don’t you?
It’s 8 weeks today shaun passed, I opened my eyes 8am on the dot, the exact time he closed his for the last time on that Wednesday morning…
I can’t move I just don’t want to get out of bed.
My little girl is cuddled in next to me sleeping and she looks the double of him.
Everthing is just so overwhelming this morning and I haven’t even managed to get out of bed yet xx
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Yeh same … i feel completely let down by our health system too xxx
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You will do … its awful … the grief is overwhelming some days just keep being kind to yourself … everyday . Pamper yourself , have nice baths or showers and i found walking to help so much to clear your head ! Take care xxx
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I’m returning to work next week on a phased return… so many people say it’s too soon, but I’m literally going out of my mind sat at home in the days with nothing to do. My youngest daughter has gradually settled back into school and it’s helping her a lot, although she has extremely emotional days so I don’t send her then. She is having amazing support through the school and the hospice team have started 1.1 sessions with her.
I start my first grief counselling session tomorrow. Shaun made me promise I wouldn’t give up and would keep going. I am hoping work will give me some distraction in the days even just for a few hours? I have an amazing supportive team and close to a lot of them, and can work from home if I need to. I just hope I can manage it as I have to rerun as can’t afford to go down to half pay (I had full pay 3 months which ends on the 6th) but I have a house to pay for, bills, and 3 children so I don’t really have much option??
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I wear my partners dressing gown, and sleep with the last tShirt he was wearing. It’s been 7 months since he died and I’m really struggling. Some one on here described “aloneness “ not loneliness and I totally feel that. I have started some bereavement counselling at a local hospice, I’m hoping that I will find some comfort and acceptance. Maybe this is something other people could try. It’s hard but I can talk about the losing the love of my life, I can say what I want to say without the fear of upsetting my friends and family. Please seek help as there are services there to support you.
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I’ve been looking in my area for a group but can’t find anything. I don’t drive and my anxiety is too bad to get on a bus at the moment. It will be 7 weeks on Sunday since I lost my husband. Hope the counselling helps you.x
Seven weeks is so early, I feel for you. If you ask your Gp or look online you may find some services. There are hospices, funeral services, and Facebook groups that talk about support. I completely understand how you feel and I wish you good luck in finding some help. Keep chatting on here, there are so many of us going through the same thing. 
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I lost my husband in April the pain don’t go and font get better I just pretend it does to my family who are do good to me but inside my heart is breaking . Love had no age barriers in fact I loved him more as each year passed I want to just sleep and forget but I don’t - I wake up and put my fake face on pretending I’m better but it’s not. So in love with him still
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I understand you are still hurting . I have gone back to work as I had to I had no sick pay . I’m not ready for it at all but I am putting on a brave face
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I lost my fiancé beginning of October and have found doing some work was helpful, though it did only distract me and made coming home to an empty dark house very difficult. I start my counselling via work next week. Thinking of you x
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Yes know how you feel it’s not nice coming in from work as you say dark and cold , I started back to work 4 weeks ago on phased return not been at work for 10 months it is a distraction don’t change anything my phased return has ended back to normal hours don’t know how I feel about it to be honest just see how it goes . Take care x