Lost without my mum 💔

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I lost mum to lung cancer very suddenly a year ago at Christmas. It was 3 weeks from a diagnosis to her passing. I feel like I haven’t still accepted what happened and I feel like I have PTSD, I keep going over things in my head from those 3 weeks and things that she went through, I keep thinking I wish I had done this or that, or said this or that. I hurt every day and feel like my heart is literally broken. I miss her so much. She was the most amazing mum and I love her so much :broken_heart:

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Hello @debs151,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling heart broken. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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I lost my Mum almost a year ago. This time last year she was put on end of life care which came out of the blue and was a huge shock to us. We had 2 weeks with her before she passed. I had many of the same thoughts re things I wish I had done but also try to remember all the good things that we did do. I am struggling at the moment with the first anniversary looming.

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Hi,

I am so sorry you are feeling so broken. I lost my mum recently to dementia and at the moment feel numb and just unsure how I really feel. When mum went into a home I had a complete breakdown because I just couldn’t believe that the woman I had always had by my side had gone and I totally understand how you’re feeling. It is such a dark and empty place.

I am sending you loads of love, it really is so hard x

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I’ve just lost my nan and she was my soulmate. But I struggle with what ifs and it gets you very sad. But nothing can b changed and I know I tried my best at the time. I’m sure my nan would think I’ve done my best she always knew I was a sensitive person. And I know she would hate it if I spent time upset panicking and heavy grieving. She’d want me to go on.

I think most people loved ones would want that.

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I lost my mum on 11th Feb 2024,one day before her 69th birthday to gallbladder cancer.she was diagnosed just 2 months before in mid December.miss her so much.dont know what im going to do without her.we were best friends :two_hearts:

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I think that’s the hardest part when u have been inseparable and best friends. It’s the shock and thinking they will be here forever.

I’m just trying to focus on how she wudnt want me to be upset.

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Hi, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like we have both had similar experiences in losing our mothers in the last 12 months. I am here if you ever want to have a chat, I hope that you are okay. They are always in our hearts, and nobody can ever taken away our

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memories. :heart:

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Thank you for your kind words and I am sorry for your loss too. It doesn’t seem real and I still think I will wake up and it was a dream. Sending you a big hug. Always here if you need to chat

Deb

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It is a massive shock isn’t it. It’s like a bad dream. You are right, they wouldn’t want us to be sad and stuck in that moment of what ifs and did I do enough, or why didn’t I say I loved her more, even though I told her all the time. I also wished I could of saved her, that feeling of helplessness because you knew there was nothing you could do except let her go. No matter what I did the outcome was going to be what I was dreading :heart:

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Thinking of you Nicola. Nobody can take away our memories, they are always ours to keep. They will always have a piece of our heart :heart: :heart: how beautiful that you had that special relationship

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Thank you.hope you’re ok

Nobody will ever replace a mum :heart::heart: