I lost my daughter in law at age 40 really suddenly my son snd 2 little girls my world has turned upside down trying to cope with his grief my own keeping it together fir kids during after her illness she was robbed of her future no one can believe how cruel life is everyone keeps telling me remember to look out for myself as well but I just don’t know how to cope not telling him that of course don’t know who can help me come to terms with it don’t even know if this is right site fir me as I don’t see anyone with this

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Dear Jayjay,

You have come to the right place if you are looking for support from others who have experienced a loss. You are right in that there is no separate category for the loss of a son or daughter in law, but there is one for the loss of a child of any age, including adult children. From your post I get the impression that you daughter in law was like a daughter to you so a lot of the feelings that other parents (and grandparents) describe will be similar to yours. I found one thread from last year where someone else lost a daughter in law. You may find some helpful replies in there, especially on how to support young children. This is the link:

Your son is blessed to have you to love and support him in this sad and difficult time for him, but your friends are right that you also need to take time for yourself as well because you are grieving too. I can understand that you don’t want to share how you feel with your son, but I hope that there are others you can talk to and who can support you, both practically and emotionally, and that you will find this community helpful too. xx Jo