How did you meet another person who is also a widow or widower?
Whenever I do it doesn’t lead anywhere.
1 Like
Hello @Enorac,
Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
I can only give you my experience,I lost my lovely wife of 55 years and loved her deeply, I joined this site and started chatting with all the other bereaved widows/widowers slowly one of the widows and I became more friendly with a similar sense of humour,we became close and we decided I would visit her,there was an instant connection and we have happily been an item for nearly a year now, we laugh a lot, holiday etc together and rediscovered happiness, I wish you all the best and good luck.
9 Likes
@Enorac
I met someone on holiday and it lasted about 8mths. He had also lost his wife, he was really nice but it ended because I realised I wasn’t ready to love again. It bought up too many emotions that I wasn’t able to cope with.
I also went on a dating site but only for fun as in nothing serious, problem is dating is so very different to when we last dated (over 40 yrs for me). It’s hard to find genuine people out there that want the same things in life and everyone is over cautious especially after being heartbroken by loss/grief. I would rather meet someone as a friend first and take it slow, there is no rush. I think you meet someone when you least expect it and not looking for anyone
@Ron11
That’s lovely to read, at least meeting on here you both know what the other has gone through and I think that’s really important as a foundation. Hope you both continue to be happy together 
3 Likes
Yes all valid points. Very interesting to read how things go. Hope more people respond because so many varied stories
I met my darling husband at a choir seven years after he had lost his wife
He was 80 and I was 75
Because we met socially I had time to see he was a really good person
And very funny
( this has made me smile) Need to do that more often
He was looking for company in groups but not a partner
However I was bold because I realised life is for living !
We connected immediately and every day said over and over how lucky we were
This year he proposed and we were married - for 20 weeks
I’m heartbroken
When you’re in love you’re in love
When I want to end it all because it’s so painful I think that if he hadn’t kept going I wouldn’t have had two unbelievable years
I suppose this is an example of how life can bring up surprises when you least expect it
I think the old way of getting to observe somebody whist pursuing a happy interest is a good way of making new friends
It’s revealing in this group because people wear their heart on their sleeve
It shows how many people want just to love and care for each other
X
1 Like
Yes very true people are very willing to be very real.on this group. I find if I am bold seems to backfire so then clam up.
That has just made my night.
I am so happy for you both.
It gives me hope 
3 Likes
I am the widow Ron mentioned.
I can only agree with what he says. We are very happy together. We don’t live together, both having our own addresses 200 miles apart, we both have families and friends.
I was married and widowed twice. I was with my first husband for 32 years and my second for 16 years. I loved both deeply and lost both suddenly after cardiac arrests.
I am happy again even though I was certain I never would be.
It doesn’t suit everyone, but I consider myself fortunate in meeting someone else I can love. And I hope anyone that wants to is just as fortunate.
Jane xx
7 Likes
this is not my situation but I know several couples who have. two couples were 80 when they met, one couple met online for older people, one couple met at adult ed classes. two others met 70s also online. it is not easy - but possible. daunting yes, but possible. and these people married, too.
1 Like
@Willow112 and @Ron11
It makes me so happy to read this… I remember you two chatting and I wondered often whether you two might meet up 
I too have met someone who lost his wife some years ago. There was some feeling of guilt and I worried what our friends would think, but we met before dating and have so much in common.
Life truly is for living, I’ll never stop loving N and the life we had, but I have to live, otherwise what’s the point? He wouldn’t want me to give in.
2 Likes
Thank you, yes we have got very close in recent months,yes there was some apprehension on both sides, but we are both happy getting on with life together,I really hope your new relationship works out for you both.
1 Like
Ron and I first started chatting in a thread in this site last autumn and became friends. We first met up in January and again a few weeks later. Neither of us was expecting or looking for anything other than friendship, but we had so much in common that the friendship gradually deepened. We still have our own houses, some 200 miles apart, but we spend a lot of time together, including short holidays. He has met all my family and friends and they are very happy for us. He gets on well with my son. My daughter is disabled and lives with me, she loves him and he is devoted to her.
Our former spouses were a huge part of our lives and continue to be spoken of fondly, of course.
Speaking personally, I came to the conclusion that I can’t change the past. I can’t live in the past because it doesn’t exist anymore. Tomorrow isn’t promised. All I have is now, and I am determined to make now as good as possible.
Everyone is different, and our choices won’t suit everyone. It suits us, and we are happy, and that is really all any of us can hope for.
And I hope everyone finds happiness in whatever way suits them.
Jane xx
4 Likes
That is a lovely thing to hear. I am 60 and lost my husband totally unexpectedly in January. I have gone through all sorts of emotions these last few months and never imagined being with anyone else, but have so many years ahead of me . What you both have sounds lovely and am so pleased for you xxx
3 Likes
Thank you. Some people disapprove, but that’s okay, we are all different. Some say they loved their lost partner too much to ever consider a new relationship. Ron and I loved our spouses very much, yet we have found each other and a great amount of happiness. Sadly, I have been widowed twice, aged 48 and again at 67. I was devastated both times. But I found out that no matter how much I cried, stamped my foot and bargained with God, I was still a widow. I don’t know how much time I have left but I intend to have the best life possible, for my sake and my daughter’s.
I hope everyone here finds peace in whatever way suits them. Just like you don’t stop loving your first child when another comes along, finding a new love doesn’t detract from the past.
Jane xx
7 Likes
Jane
You have put this so well
2 Likes
Congrats to the couples who have taken that leap and have found love again, it is so very hard when you first lose your partner, the grief and despair the emptiness.. I lost my wife and like everyone here found my way onto this amazing site.. found some kind of comfort talking to people who understood my pain. I came across a lovely woman and after a year and 25,000 plus messages we decided to take the chance.. we’ve been together for years now it is a long distance relationship but we manage to see each other a few weekends a month and have talked about getting married.. I came here feeling life was over and wanting to leave this world but instead feel head over heels in love and I couldn’t be happier.. of course it isn’t for everyone, many feel guilt like they’re betraying their lost loves.. sadly we get one life and humans really aren’t built to be alone.. even ones that can’t date again would still benefit from say a grief buddy meeting someone to go on holidays with have a cuddle here and there just that interaction so they don’t feel so alone.
For me SueRyder was a life saver.. I climbed out that deep dark pit and found a beautiful woman to love.
I wish everyone that reads this all the best 
7 Likes
That’s so lovely to read
I met my wonderful man 7 years after he lost his wife
We had two Years including 20 weeks married We never dreamt life could be so funny
Life is love as this community shows in all its many ways x
Yes I have spoken to widowers since I lost my husband nearly three years ago as I have walked in the churhyard
1 Like