Hi i lost my husband to bladder cancer 9 weeks ago and i am really struggling to even function without him. He was my world. I am only 44 and we had so many plans for our future. I just feel completely lost and lonely despite having some family and friends.
9 Likes
Hi cas26. Welcome to this group that everybody would prefer not to be a member of. I lost my partner of 28 years to cancer a year ago next month. Oct 18th. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m in my seventies but you’re so young to loose someone and its very recent for you. It was second time round for Jo and I and I was about your age when we got together. Everyone’s experience of grieving is different and there’s no right or wrong. It appears I maybe the first to contact you but I assure you there will be many others. You’ll find that trying to explain to people that haven’t experienced what you’re going through is very difficult. Keep posting on here because you can be sure that you’re talking to others that understand completely. My thoughts are with you. Bless you.
2 Likes
Cas 26
So sorry to hear of your loss. This is an awful time for you. Be kind and patient with your self and give yourself the time to grieve. Everyone in this forum understands your distress. Big hugs.
2 Likes
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can understand how you must be feeling. It’s a dreadful time for you. You must give yourself time to grieve and be kind to yourself. Everyone on this group knows what you must be feeling and it does help x
3 Likes
Dear @cas-26 I am so sorry that you are in this devastating situation. I lost my husband to cancer just 12 weeks ago so I have a good idea what you are going through. There is no preparing for this rollercoaster ride of emotions I can only say hold on tight and if you have a hand to hold take it. There will be lots of support here from kind people who have so much more experience to guide you so try and stay in touch when you need them.
Sending you lots of love x
1 Like
Sending love to you. I have only recently joined here but just to know others who have gone through the same is helpful. We are all here for each other.
1 Like
Hi
So sorry for your loss
I lost my husband 24july 2022 and like many others on here I am totally utterly devastated…… he was my absolute world we had so many plans
We all have friends but until you are in this situation no one understands how empty, lonely , frightened and heartbroken we feel…….
I feel cheated of our life and I’m so so struggling
I can only describe myself as ‘functioning’
True friends know that’s a mask
Game face as my best mate says
My heart goes out to you all of you struggling to get by on an hourly basis
Big big hugs
7 Likes
Sending love to you too.
We’ll all try plodding on together maybe.
3 Likes
Hi Cas, my wife’s funeral was on Tuesday, I have two daughters 14 and 17, I feel Ur pain I am numb and don’t know how I am going to deal with life moving forward without the gell that held us together
2 Likes
Bless you. I lost mine to pancreatic cancer 7 weeks ago. No real warning, just a discomfort, which got more annoying to him., then jaundice, downhill and gone, just like that. Cry when you need to, exhausting as it is you need to do it. It is devastating. People say to forget the bad images and remember the good times. Don’t they realize it makes the loss so much worse.? Try to cling on, our partners would want that. It is SO hard when your heart is broken and your world destroyed. Take any help you can get, emotionally and physically if jobs need doing. I just hope time will deaden the pain for all of us x
1 Like
Sandietay
I don’t believe there is any time limit to bereavement. We all have to do what is right for us. I’ve learnt this after 22 months of loss. I have a friend who has been widowed 24 years. She says the sadness is still there but she doesn’t cry still but has very sad moments and the rest of the time she tries to make the best of what time there is left. Best wishes to you.
Hello friend,
I too lost my beloved husband from bladder cancer 8 weeks ago. He was older but it was both of our 2nd marriages, 30 years. I’m devestated too.
I cry every day and night. I long for him to hold me again. I hate being alone, my family aren’t close by. The house is full of him but I can’t see him. We were lucky to have the 30 years and we made so much of them, but we wanted more. Life is cruel. I wish every night I had gone with him, but that rarely happens. Sending a big hug .
1 Like
Morning
Just read the gel that held us together
Never forget the gel is still there…… that’s what’s keeping us all going in our hearts the gel is still there
Keeping going?…. Well existing functioning in reality
Always wonder how Paul would’ve managed if he’d been left
Mind wanders……
All these thoughts
No one to turn or chat to
This is now my life
Alone
Hugs to all
Xx
3 Likes
Yes it is hard to comes to terms with losing a loved one I too lost my husband with pancreatic cancer - no warning after being fit and well all his life then jaundice / a red flag and escalation of chemo scans stents it took seven months and I lost my soul mate 15 months ago now. Ups and downs hanging on not easy A big hug to everyone
3 Likes
Oh I know how you feel. Ours was second time around. 32 wonderful years. I lost him 8 weeks ago and can’t imagine life without him. I cry morning and night. Miss everything about him. The house is so empty.
People really don’t understand what it’s like to lose your partner. My heart feels ripped out.
3 Likes
Hi Florida
Mine too!
Xx
I agree Florida. No-one really understands what it’s like to loose a partner. Suddenly you are on your own to deal with everything you used to do together and also it’s difficult not being part of a couple. It’s been 12 months since I lost my husband and the house still feels empty and I miss him all the time, but it does get easier and 8 weeks is still very early days for you. My heart goes out to you. Stay strong x
2 Likes
Thank you for your kind message.
My counsellor tells me I’m doing great, doesn’t feel like it. These dark nights looming don’t help. She tells me the grief will never leave, I will just build a new life around it. Right now I don’t want to without Brian.
X
1 Like
Hi Florida
Yes my counsellor tells me the same but like you just want my old life back
Carnt even think about a new one alone without Paul to share it with………
Like everyone feel numb empty alone and frightened
Take care
Xx
1 Like
Hi Bess,
It’s so hard to explain to folk how u feel isn’t it? All the little things we used to do. A trip out in the car for the day. I’m not fond of driving these days, but when u get somewhere that hand is missing to hold. I knew it would be hard but this is beyond anything I expected.
Take care xx
2 Likes