Thats what i am like, I could have, would have done pretty much anything confidently before David died, now I have to brace myself to walk in to a shop and get around as quickly as possible, no browsing anymore which we used to love to do. Sometimes I have to grit my teeth and concentrate on something or I will start crying in the shop. I do keep shaking as well not just when shopping but throughout the day, it is like an inside tremble. It is early days for me although I cannot believe it will be a month on Tuesday since he went. I havenāt got his ashes back yet either which is making things worse for me. I also hate being on my own, I am lucky because my grandson lives with me but he is not here at the weekends so they are very quietā¦that is when me and David would have done things togetherā¦or just stayed in, but he would have been with me. 
So sorry Penny. We are all changed and not for the better. Sending love and strength x
Marl there is a group that someone mentioned on here, it is called the Jollie Dollies, it is a national group but there are little groups all over the country. It is for widows and they get together and do things like got to the cinema, out for a coffee anything really that they want to do together. I have joined it here in Grimsby where I live, have to wait for a welcome pack and then I can go and meet them. Also if there isnt one in your area I think they may help you to set one up.
Hi Penny that sounds ideal I will look into that hope there is one in my area , thatās another thing I am no longer confident with us driving too far xx
Hope there is one a group in your area, or when you are feeling stronger you can set one up.
If you have lost confidence in driving ie on motorways or roads out of your area you could ask an instructor to do a couple of hours with you. Just a thought as you do not want to loose that freedom.
Hi @Marl thank you for replying. Iām so sorry that your husband has died. It must have been awful for you him dying of Covid. The not knowing what this horrible virus was capable of. Itās horrible when you are left on your own with no one to turn to. I do have two grown up children but I donāt like putting my grief on to them as they are still grieving but they are also trying to get on with their own lives. Is there anyone you can turn to? Keep safe. Will be thinking of you.x