Hello Stephen,
No worries. I know that about now is the time you take out to remember your dearest mam. So it’s a poignant moment for you to continue to still do.. 11:45
It is the ongoing respect, love and care that you still have and will always have for your lovely mam.
To keep and cherish your precious memories of her alive.
Take care Stephen 
. Wuu
Hello Stephen, It is good to hear from you. I also have been thinking of you and Wuu. I have signed up for Light Up a Life (which I went to last year). I am also thinking about attending a Memorial Celebration tomorrow. The days are darker now and so I am undecided if I will attend. My neighbour has lost her husband, so I have invited her along. She has relatives visiting, so if they are still there she won’t come. I want to attend, but I don’t like to attend alone when everyone else is surrounded by family. It is for Mum. If Mum had been here we would have gone to events like this together. I try not to think about Saturday as it is too hard. My Mum was kind to so many people. Another neighbour / friend who she helped years ago is coming to the cemetery with me next Saturday. She is bringing her 2 sons. Mum always loved to see them. She was a ‘people person.’ I will be going to the cemetery on Monday this week. Tomorrow I am having my boiler changed. It is old and we had a few problems with it. It is another ‘job’ that Mum and I talked about and so I know she is working behind the scenes advising. Like your Mum, Mum always felt the cold in the last few years. She always said that keeping warm and sleep were important. It is good to hear that your volunteering is going well. Now is also a good time of the year to read. Your Mum, like my Mum enjoyed reading. Like you said, our Mums were central to our lives and so we continue living the best life we can for our Mums. Take care
Hello Wuu, My Mum and you share the same birthday, 5th November. That is a special comnection that we have. Mum always used to say that no-one can forget her birthday and also yours! It will be difficult for both of us. Mum’s body was also brought into the church on 5th and her burial was on the 6th. Have you thought about the 5th and what you will do or will you let the day pass? I find if I prepare for something I somehow cope better. I have to ‘fill the time.’ Your Mum will sending you a special blessing on your birthday. Thank you for saying that I am strong and kind. Mum used to say exactly the same. I am very sensitive though and get upset easily. Walking is so helpful. The repetition of the movement and being outside in the fresh air is so good for us mentally and physically. Mum was the same. We were ‘walkers!’ Take care Wuu.
Good evening all. Lovely to hear you’re all doing as ok as possible. I’d been thinking of you all too so I’m glad you decided to message on here today. It sounds like you’ve got some positive things planned Sparrow - I hope your neighbour can join you. And I hope both you and Wuu get through your mums birthdays ok on 5th. Lovely to hear volunteering is still going well too Stephen.
This week is the start of the end for me. My mum started to feel unwell half term week. She made it to my nieces 17th birthday tea midweek but was confused and not herself. She went in to hospital the following weekend (next weekend) and never came home. I’m struggling. My niece and sister are busy with their own lives celebrating her 18th without me. My dad is away at the football today. I’m the only one left sitting here missing my mum desperately and not knowing how to go on without her.
Anyway thank you for chatting away. I hope you don’t mind me butting in but it’s needed today. Sending my best wishes.
Hello Bach.
Please messsge on here as you do at anytime to any or all of us. We are here to support and help each other as best we can.
It is so heartbreaking to read about this time last year when your mum started to be unwell and then a year next weekend God bless her, she went in the hospital. I am crying thinking about you and your beautiful mum.
The firsts and other times are really difficult. On 20th of November it is my first birthday without mam. Mam’s birthday was the 14th of March a week before she passed away. I always bought the most of mam’s gifts from Amazon. I was picking them early in January and mam asked me what i was doing. I told her and she said: ooh Stephen. I need to get you some presents for your birthday. You see with her Alzheimer’s she forgot the dates. I said don’t worry mam. You will get them for me. We will pick them together in October. Mam said that will be good Stephen.
It is dad’s birthday on Monday. He would have been 85. He was 75 when he passed away. Nine years and seven months ago. I am always up at the cemetery on a Saturday and Wednesday. I wished him a happy birthday for Monday, but being with mam and dad all my life I will wish him a happy birthday at home on Monday.
What you say about your family Bach, resonates strongly with me. My brother and nieces lives have just continued on as if nothing happened. I know i have said this before to you, Wuu and Sparrow, but i feel like it is only me keeping mam alive by thinking of, talking to and writing all mam and my memories of mam down.
Paul and the nieces never even speak of mam.
I want to send you all my support, kind thoughts and warmest wishes. It is sent from the heart. God bless Bach and best wishes Stephen. 
Thank you Stephen. I think I feel like I don’t have as much right to be here as you guys. I didn’t live with my mum… but in many ways my mum was still all I had. She was certainly the only person I could rely on and we spent a lot of time together. I rarely hear from my friends who all have their own families and all parents still with them. I just go to work and come home now- I don’t have much else. I think the bad weather hasn’t helped today- I can’t even get out for a walk which I know would help.
Thank you again for your kindness. I often don’t feel like I’ve got the right words for you all but I do really appreciate your kindness. I hope you have a restful evening.
Good evening Bach, It resonates with me as your Mum didn’t come home from hospital, like my Mum. That expectation of hope which we lost is so hard. I struggle with this. Everyone else carrying on with their lives intensifies the lose. It is as though they have forgotten, they carry on with normality but for us it will never be the same. I asked my partner to come with me tomorrow to the memorial service and he said that “All this death is getting me down. I have to look after the living.” He means his Mum. He is right, but 1 hour of his support and 1.5 hours travelling is not too much to ask. I would go for him. I am giving him some ‘slack’ as he has alot going on and he is there in other ways, but it intensified my Mum not being here. So I reached out to my neighbour. I am sharing this as I find that it is when others don’t understand our pain and importance of our Mums and Mams and do not respond in a way that we need that I find that I struggle. This might be similar for you. If I’m a bit tired, others behaviour causes the grief to hit hard. If I am feeling a bit stronger, I can ride the wave. Your Mum was always there for you. You are part of this group and we all support each other.
Stephen, Absolutely ‘firsts’ and dates are hard. Before the first anniversary of Mum’s death I kept thinking that this time last year Mum was here. Today I went ro church (Saturday instead of Sunday). We always went together on a Saturday evening until recently. I can’t sit where I used to sit with Mum, as I would feel that Mum wasn’t beside me. I looked across to where we used to sit and felt a panic as Mum wasn’t there and it was real. I had to distract my thinking. I can almost hear your lovely Mam speaking as she is thinking of you and your birthday. Your Mam was always thinking of you, her beloved son like Mum was of me. It is the lose of that love which is so hard. Your Mam will be with you on your birthday Stephen, sending all her love and blessings. Your Dad’s birthday is on Monday. It is hard for you, but what a beautiful gift that your Dad will be celebrating his birthday by reuniting with your Mum. They will both be sending love and blessings together for your birthday.
Good evening Sparrow.
Thank you so much for your lovely message. I appreciate it. You are right and mam and dad are together. Mam, like your mum, was always there for me when dad passed away, as i was always there for her.
I believe that all our mums always put their beloved children first. They weren’t ones to dwell on themselves, they cared only about us.
The other thing our mums have in common from every thing that everyone on here as said at some point, is that they never ever complained even when they weren’t well themselves. They had that strength in them and we as their sons and daughters have that inherent strength in us too.
I hope you get to the memorial tomorrow if you feel up to going. Thank you again and sending you all my blessings and support. Stephen.
Hello Bach.
Thank you for kind message. It is so sad and the way you feel is the way we all feel. I sometimes think I need to do something to make everything better ,but then I know i can’t because the only thing that would make me feel better is having mam back at home with me.
I know it isn’t much comfort, but we are all here to help other. What unites us all is having such wonderful, caring and loving mums.
Goodnight and god bless. Sending you all my warmest wishes Stephen.
Stephen, It is exactly that … our Mams / Mums put us first and would do anything for us. They never complained. My Mum never told me if she felt unwell as she did not want me to worry. We could have not have been more loved and it is knowing that which gives us our strength. We are strong for them. Take care Stephen. God Bless