How are you? How are things?
It’s been a while since I heard from you I hope you are ok.
It’s really starting to feel like Autumn now. With it getting darker in the evenings a lot earlier. Less time to be outside in the garden. I still think about mum each and every day and still even though the weather has changed a lot. I will keep mums garden looking it’s best with the pyracanther winter berries all orange and red along the front fence.
Mum preferred the cooler weather. She’d be wearing her matching mittens and hat now.
It will be 2 years since mums diagnosis. It’s really hard to believe that it’s been nearly that amount of time since I could have a conversation with mum.
To not hear her voice in the real time feels so unreal. And sad.
I know how much your lovely mum meant to you. It’s hard to fathom the loss some days isn’t it?
I do wish you strength and peace today and always.
Thinking of you.
Sending you much kindness. Wuu
Hello Wuu, It has been a very difficult time for me. I know it is also difficult for you going from your Mum being fine to her illness. You had no time to prepare, a shock. It is painful. I would describe my emotions as close to the surface. I find myself getting emotional for all sorts of reasons, with the loss of my Mum at the root, my grief. It will be 1 year tomorrow since I lost Mum. I have tried not to think about it. I don’t know how I will get through tomorrow. All my emotions are flooding back. I can’t hold back the crying. I am sobbing again like I did in the early days. It just feels real and painful. Like you said for you and your Mum’s diagnosis, it does not feel that long ago. Alongside this, I am making some difficult decisions about work / early retirement. I also have been feeding a stray which brought me such joy. The stray was being cared for by a neighbour and now I fear that an addict has taken the cat inside. Good that the cat is not cold, but I fear for her and had also got attached to her. So another loss. I have a special mass for Mum tomorrow which I will attend. These days, like birthdays and anniversaries are so, so hard. Take care Wuu.
I am sending you all my kindness and support as far as I can with words. I know how bad it was for me when 6 months came up. A year without your beautiful mum is heartbreaking.
I completely understand your emotions are very near the surface and you cannot stop crying. I won’t go on about me, but I am very down and highly emotional currently.
You cry till it aches and hurts and then you cry some more.
The mass for your mum is bound to be affecting. Some people are better than me at putting emotions into words, but just know that I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Sending you all my blessings. Stephen.
Stephen, I can feel your genuine warmth, which is a testament to the upbringing that your parents provided. Thank you so much. I feel that I have really got to know you and your Mam through this terrible grief that we both never wanted to experience. How you are feeling is important. Please feel free to share. Take care
Thank you for your reply. It’s so good to hear from you. I am sorry that you are feeling so sad and I totally understand your grief with it coming up to a year tomorrow with the loss of your dearest mum. I will be thinking of you.
It is so tough emotionally I agree. We never expect to ever lose our mums. It’s so difficult to manage the waves of grief isn’t it?
And your emotions are all too raw as the first anniversary comes up. I so wish you the strength for tomorrow and always. And a year is really not all that long in reality. It’s all so sad. It can feel overwhelming and unreal.
Like our minds have connected the achingly long time of our mums missing from our lives and we’ve caught up with the realisation that they are never going to walk back through the door.
We can’t physically see or hug them again. Our conversations are to the air, hoping that our mums are listening to us.
It would be so lovely to just hear our mum’s voices again.
And to carry on with this level of grief is too much at times like walking through
‘no-mans’ land in search for their love, comfort and support.
And when you want to tell your mum about work and your decisions around this. Not having your mum to share that conversation with is heartbreaking. It can make for anxious decisions without our mums.
It’s so hard to process things. I find without being able to run things past mum, I’ve had to really dig deep to make quicker decisions.
I think the year of firsts can really knock us down. Our routines are broken. Our goals are now shifted, because everything once revolved around our dearest mums. To ensure their happiness and to keep them safe. We can feel so lost without them here anymore.
When you mentioned before you’d kind of ‘adopted’ a stray cat and that feeding it made you feel such joy. That sounds so lovely. But it’s definitely not good that the cat may have wandered into dodgy company. It’s such a shame, you could have continued to have looked after the cat so well and it would have chosen to live with you. Especially as it brought you such joy.
Thinking of you Sparrow for tomorrow. I’m 3 years in without my darling mum, it’s still horrible but I try not to think that I’ve “lost” her, I say to myself she’s not lost, I know exactly where she is….in Heaven! Safe and well with her other family and smiling down at me.
Just like your darling mum, you know she’s safe and well, watching over you. One day we shall all be reunited
In the meantime just keep posting any thoughts on this wonderful little group chat and know that you’re not alone and we all send you our love and good wishes. God Bless Bean xxx
Morning Sparrow, just wanted to send you all my support and thoughts today. It will be incredibly hard but I hope you are able to feel close to your mum at points throughout the day and that the mass brings you some comfort.
I think your sentiment about our lovely mum’s and mam’s is lovely and so true we have not ‘lost’ them. They have gone but they are safe and ‘free’ of their illnesses. In heaven.
For no dis-ease or disease exists in their bodies anymore.
My beautiful mum is as she looked before her rapid glioblastoma cancer ‘stole’ her from me. She is now an angel the way I always think of her.
Thinking of you Sparrow, for the special mass that you’re attending today for your dearest mum.
A beautiful dedication, for a beautiful mum from a wonderful daughter.
Thank you all so very, very much. All of your words have resonated with me and they have brought me comfort. For a while I could not feel Mum’s presence. Today, I felt it. I can hear her words and messages through the voice of others. Mass was for my Mum and it was beautiful. Bean spoke of heaven and the Gospel today was a parable all about heaven. It felt as though Mum is reminding me that she is okay and is in heaven. My Mum used to always make the caretaker tea and have a chat with him. He has retired, but today of all days he visited the area to clean a neighbour’s windows. This is the first time that this happened. He came and had a cup of tea with me. My Mum liked him alot. He is always jolly and happy, so it was as though Mum sent him. I am off to the cemetery shortly. Thank you to you all. I can feel the warmth and understanding in your messages. Your Mams, Mums and Nan are all in heaven having a cup of tea together and looking upon us all saying that they are pleased we found this group and have each other. Take care
I am pleased that on such a sad day for you that you were able to feel your mum’s presence. Giving you strength, loving you, looking after you and guiding you.
It was kismet as well that the theme of heaven was in the sermon. A sure sign and being able to spend time having a cuppa with the retired caretaker who you saw on today of all days.
God bless. Sending you all my thoughts and kindest regards. Stephen
I hope today you can feel the strength from yesterday and the special service that was held for your dearest mum to filter into today.
I hope you find some peace and respite from your busy hectic time at work. I know how hard it can now be to not have our mum’s reassurance to guide us through testing times.
How I wish I could just ask mum something just so I can hear mum’s voice again. It can be such a lonely, difficult path this can’t it?
After a year of ‘meaningful well wishers’ fade away we are still left to pine the loss of love from our mums.
Thank you Wuu for checking in today. Like you said, people expect us to have moved on with our lives. They don’t realise that our Mums were the most important part of our lives and our everyday routines. Like you, I talk out loud to my Mum. I then answer myself back, using phrases that Mum used. How are you doing?
I know exactly what you mean. People mean well but it’s never solving the loss is it? It’s so empty with out our mum’s. And I do try to think about the more positive things mum would be saying. She wouldn’t be one to languish on things. I often wondered and asked mum too, how she coped when her mum passed away. My grandma. She said she thought a lot and missed her.
Grandma I know, meant a lot to mum. My grandma passed in 1981. I was very young but I do remember her a little 4 foot ten lady that could stand up in my ‘Wendy house!’. Mum would say how she missed her mum. We even talked about this in Oct 2025 just before mum’s diagnosis. But mum didn’t say how she coped? I don’t know how mum got through, but she did. I’m not as strong as mum obviously. But mum wasn’t to know what the immediate future was coming up. None of us were to know. It is so heartbreaking even now thinking. I never knew. Mum had no pre symptoms. Or none I could recognise so we could do something. But now in hindsight and the much info about mum’s condition there was nothing that could be done. I don’t know if knowing months or a year before would have brought any comfort. I probably would have been living in complete and utter panic mode. But mum was always strong like your dearest mum. She never once spoke of her pain. And only once said ‘it’s not working, is it? With just a tear in her eyes. But then she slept nearly all the time. So I think that would bring her peace.
Thank you Sparrow for your reply. I do hope you gain more strength and peace as we move into Autumn and with your lovely mum’s birthday round the corner.
Take care. Wuu x
Wuu, Your Grandmother sounds like great fun and the kind of Grandmother that every little girl would love to have! Playing in your Wendy House is such a beautiful memory of your Grandmother. She made you happy and that emotion stays with you. My Mum spoke more about her Mum towards the end of her life. She said that she wanted to be with her Mum. When Mum was okay she told me that she had to “just get on with things.” She said that she had me little to look after and my Dad who was unwell. I would imagine that your Mum had you to care for. I remember that when my Dad died, my Mum used to say that we had each other. Mum also visited friends alot and her friends helped her. Connections are key. We are both in a different situation than our Mums and the world is a different place than it was. I had my talking therapy assessment today and did not meet the clinical criteria for therapy. I have to source my own private therapy. I always mention this site which is a great support. It hit me today as they go through personal details, probably also from GP records. She then said that it shows on my records that my next of kin is my GP. I have a sister and partner (we don’t live together) so I need to get this updated as hospital admissions rely on GP records. In a split second I felt how Mum was my next of kin and then I fast forwarded down the line and realised that in future years it will probably be my GP. For someone so loved and cherished, it is heartbreaking, a glimpse into the future that I have to step back out of. Wuu, you really had no time to prepare for your Mum’s illness. It sounds as though you are processing it. It is hard to accept, but I’ve learnt living with how I feel is my form of acceptance. My Mum’s death was sudden. I struggle with it. I try to think that Mum did not suffer for years. She would have hated to have lost all her independence. Your Mum was a strong woman. You will also have that same strength within you. Take care
I was just thinking of you. I hope you are doing as well as can be expected given all the grief and heartbreak we are all going through.
Our mums are everywhere because we lived together for all those years. Not many people can say that. What i mean is when we are sad or thinking about our mums, we can link them to any moment we have done in the past because we have done so much and loved each other so much in.our lives together.
I keep asking mam for signs and she always manages to show me that she is still alongside of me, just like you and your mum and Wuu and her mum.
I did my volunteering today and Tuesday. A few parents and children about. Apparently because i asked a lady with a young boy and some Doncaster schools have been off this week and some are off next week.
Tomorrow is the day when our emotions are heightened even more than usual. I think about mam all day every day just as you and Wuu do. Our lives were our mums..i know we worked, but we were together every day.
Sending you all my blessings and kindest thoughts. Stephen.
How are you? I know you may have a lot on your plate at work. And soon it’s going to be half term. I do hope you can find some time in there to take things a bit easier and take some time out to recharge?
I know that with even a year on, our mum’s loss is still immense. I feel as though nothing has improved. I still get overwhelmed until I feel my head could explode at times.
But I’m not always able to take on good advice. And then fatigue sets in so the grief does too.
I think walking does help tremendously. As I know you like to do as well. Just walking for walking’s sake. No real purpose.
Fast walk round several blocks, to get free fresh air & exercise. I think it helps the mind reset. And then you can see the seasons change too. Which helps with feelings of isolation.
Well, it does for me a tiny bit.
Thinking to far into the future is something I’m prone too as well. But you’re right in saying we have to pull those thoughts back. As we can only deal with the here and now.
You sound as though your thinking very clearly when you mentioned about next of kin. That without our dearest, beautiful mum’s around who else?
I try and shove those thoughts.
But you, Sparrow, you do have your sister and your partner. They do care, I am sure, very much about you and your wellbeing. I think you also come over as a very strong and a caring person. And those around you will recognise this.
Soon it will be your dear mum’s birthday and I will be thinking of you and your mum, (as I remember it falls on the same day as mine 5/11).
Again, for a second time I will just have to ‘remember’ on the 5th of November my mum is still ‘with’ me.
She passed on 1/5/25.
I miss mum very much.
Take care Sparrow. Please keep in touch when you can. Wuu xx
Just as I sent your message to you it came up with your messsge which I hadn’t read before I sent mine. So if i have repeated anything it is because I have just seen your message. God bless and sending you all my best wishes Stephen
. Wuu
