I know. Weekends are hard arent they?
They always involved my mum even if we just sat and watched tv or she came along in the car if I was driving my daughter here there and everywhere.
One of the things I miss most is having her company in the car. She loved coming out for a ride even if we werent going anywhere exciting.
Hello everyone.
I’m so sorry Jayne.
I lost my mum last month and I still don’t think it’s sunk in yet.
I was taken to a&e yesterday for a high pulse and infection. Due to stress which is unsurprising. I had been coping by getting out and about and seeing people and doing things that Mum would have done. Now I’m not allowed to do that as I’m on bed rest/ antibiotics (thankfully at home though.)
I’m now feeling terribly lonely, theres no one to look after me and I feel totally lost. I was mums carer and am now my grandfathers but I can’t see him because I’m ill (chemo treatment problems.)
Kerrance22, who cares for the carer? You must clearly look after yourself. Allow, yourself the rest you need and deserve. Clearly, you’ve had to be strong as you’ve been a carer to both your Mum and Grandad. You can get through this one day at a time.
I was my Mum carer for 23 years and I lost my her 9 weeks ago. It still hasn’t sunk in yet for me. I’m in denial. I feel traumatised by it and I feel stunned. I’m also making sure that I’m gentle with myself, as I believe the shock has been huge.
Take care. Sending a hug.
Hi Cheryl, I’ve been very busy the past few days with going into work which has been a nice distraction but with the unfortunate side effect of having a full emotional assault during the drive home. Your post grabbed my attention again with something I hadn’t mentioned on here before now. Mum used to come along in my car with me too sometimes, sometimes for a trip to the shops but also for no particular reason because she like to get out of the house and I liked the company and a chance to have a chat about all sorts of nonsense. She would love to come with me to pick up my daughter from school. She would even like to come with me to the office where she would spend most of the day sat in my car reading and also get out and about the site I worked on because it had woodland and gardens and a coffee shop. I slightly regret her coming to work with me now as it now means that I can’t escape thinking about her sat in the passenger seat when I leave to come home. The journeys now seem very quiet but I can almost have a conversation with her even though she isn’t there. I can hear her talking in my head when I think back to the past conversations we had. She put a nice fleecy blanket on the passenger seat for herself which is still there now as I don’t want to remove it. Why do I torture myself like this? I liked having a close relationship with mum when she was alive which I did because I thought it was helping keep her mood up rather than being stuck in her house alone all the time, but I feel I’m now paying the price for it. Would I do it all over again? Of course. Anyway, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who used to ferry their mum around for no particular reason. I hope you and all the others here have a slightly better weekend than the last. x
Hi shaun
I’ve just responded to your other post.
Yes, I’ve thought the same as you. I wish I wasnt as close to my mum. I wish we didnt do everything together. I wish,I wish.
But if i could do it all again i wouldn’t change a thing. I’m just paying the price for having such a great relationship with her.
6 months today my life changed forever.
6 months of hell and all i can do is get through the next 6 months and hope the pain eases.
Before you know it your 15 weeks will have turned into 6 months as well. It’s just so sad.
Try and have an ok weekend. I suppose I will have to endure a bit of time round the shops listening to slade and Mariah Carey
Cheryl x
Hello kerrance I’m so sorry to hear your sad news 
will be 7 weeks tomorrow for me & I still feel so numb! I can’t bring myself to do anything good as I feel so guilty cuz mum isn’t here to see/do things with me 
I’ve been signed off work now with depression! Losing a parent really is so hard to deal with! You’ll find lots of people on this forum in the same boat & talkin to everyone will help it’s helped me! It’s hit my dad hard now he was my mums carer for 12 years he’s struggling to deal with her not bein here so we’re gettin him some help as he’s just not himself at all & we’re all so worried about him!
Cheryl,
I’ve just responded to your other post too! I knew all along that losing mum would be painful and I would dearly miss the close relationship I was enjoying at the time. It was just always at some point in the future and never now, never this year. I actually tried to imagine life without her but of course as a lot of people here say, you don’t really know what it’s like until it happens to you. Now I have a great appreciation of what others are going through. You can see what sort of a day I’ve had today on there. Mad. For the first time this December I’ve been listening to festive music blasting out at home. Very odd as I’m lacking the familiar emotion I’ve had with it in the past. Tomorrow I’m going to venture into the shops for short while and endure a card shop. I’m normally quite happy to go into a card shop but now I fear them. I wish you well on your shopping trip.
Shaun x
Hi Kerrance22,
I’d like to add how sorry I am too to hear about your loss. I’d be surprised if it sunk in after a month. Of course we all know for sure what has happened and like it or not, we have to accept it. Still, that doesn’t stop the horrible disbelief that seems to go on and on. I’m at the 15 week mark and it still hasn’t sunk in. I’m even sure what sunk in will feel like or whether it’ll be a subtle change over time that I cannot perceive. I can honestly say that my grief has definitely changed over 15 weeks but I cannot honestly say how much better I feel now than I did say 4 weeks ago. I don’t have any expectations for the coming months and I think that’s the best way to be.
I hope you manage to look after yourself, I know it’s very difficult.
Hi Jayne.
I completely understand where your dad is coming from. My gramps also has terminal cancer and has been struggling with his chemo because of mum. But won’t accept help professionally or from us. People deal with grief in so many different ways and that can just add things to our concerns.
Take the time off and look after yourself
Hi Shaun.
I agree and often I don’t know what is just around the corner that will make me think of her and feel like I’m starting all over again.
I’m feeling physically much better though so that’s helped