My daughter passed away 9 weeks ago. She was a beautiful girl, my baby, although she was 33yrs old.
The pain is so intense and the missing her is even worse
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Welcome to this forum, a place where we never thought we would be. Always our babies, my son was 35 when he passed away. Very early days for you, little steps is all I can say to you. To be honest the pain will never go away, somehow you learn to live alongside it.
Take care, be kind to yourself x
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Thank you so much for your reply. It’s so hard to accept our daughter won’t ever come home again. She lived at home.
The guilt has been immense, a feeling of could I have done more to help her. The why did she have to leave us so soon, she had so much to live for.
I am heartbroken 
Its been over a year and I think of my son daily. I too, dont understand why, my son also had so much to live for. He lived on his own, in his 30ths, his mental illness came on suddenly and he hid it well. I think if he had of not lived alone he may be alive today, but I will never know. He was not a drug addict, he was smart, handsome with many friends. He suffered with severe insomnia & anxiety after covid. He left his job of 10 years after the company became insufferable. So many people leaving and so much put on him, he left for the first job he could get which was a overnight shift. I told him to leave, take some time off, go for a trip. He had enough money saved plus we would gladly help him. He was to proud, plus he was driving people around that had no car because he was kind. I miss him so much. I hope I will see him in the afterlife if it exists. I too suffer guilt, what I should of done, what I could of done. But, through grief counselling and coping centre I have learned, it is not your fault. We love our children and would do anything to trade places with them, we did not come with instruction manuals and they have free will. Please dont blame yourself. You sound like a beautiful mother and your daughter would want you to go on and honour her memory. One thing I was told this had nothing to do with me. God bless you. 
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Hi, I fully understand how heartbroken you are, I still am 15 months later, but it does get a bit easier in time and you learn to cope with the pain to carry on. My son was hard working, had his own property, so many friends and loved by so many people. He had dealt with addiction for 14 years, and it was a rollercoaster throughout these years for us as a family. I lost my son through drugs and still have so many questions unanswered. Unfortunately there are some people who judge which infuriates me as they haven’t got a clue about it all, addiction is an illness just like so many other things where people are not judged but each to there own. My Dad made me the person who I am who is strong but this broke me but I’m stronger minded than ever which is a positive for me. Take each day hour by hour, minute by minute and be kind to yourself.
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Hi Jen
Your son sounds like a lovely lad, as you do too being a caring mum.
My daughter had mental health issues especially after a 10yr relationship suddenly came to an end. She declined after that but really worsened when she met a terrible man who coerced her into a false sense of security. He was violent too. She seemed to appear blank with no emotion. She was struggling bless her.
She suffered an anxiety attack which she tried to overcome but took too many tablets. We do think there was some involvement with this man too.
I will try to get counselling. I need someone to help me understand why I have these negative thoughts.
We love our children unconditionally which your son and my daughter knew this. 
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Hi,
I understand what you are saying. People can be so hurtful, but they don’t understand. Alcohol was the cause of my daughter’s coercive partner to be violent with her. They did take drugs but I know my daughter only took it recreationally. But he alienated her from her family and friends
It’s so hard to not have answers, especially when it’s a compulsive liar that was with her that horrible night. We will never get the truth. But the truth is we will always love them and nobody can take that away from us.
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My daughter suffered a severe anxiety attack and took too many tablets to try combat it. We are not sure of the full facts as the inquest not been yet.
We miss her so much, we battle with ourselves every day wondering why she had to be taken from us so early. I have difficulty wondering if there is an afterlife and we will meet again. I guess it’s too early as I am still in denial and not accepting she has left us forever. I guess we will never accept it.
It’s very hard and painful
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I’m so sorry for your loss of your beautiful daughter, I know how you’re feeling, I lost my beautiful daughter to cancer three months ago, she was thirty but still my baby, miss her so much, every minute of every day. 
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I send love to you.
It’s so horrible and I ask myself daily why! I will never understand why she was taken so soon. She suffered mental health which we could not see ourselves, so the guilt is immense. It is true that they wear a mask and not give any signs that they are struggling.
I’m sure you miss your lovely daughter with all your heart. Thinking of you
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It’s so horrible isn’t it. Can I ask when did you start getting counselling?
My daughter passed away 10weeks ago , I can’t get my head around any of it, I feel guilt, I keep getting images of her last moments. I keep looking at messages, Is she lonely now, I can’t hold her to tell her she will be ok. All sorts go through my mind.
I have considered counselling but is it too soon?
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There’s no words to describe the pain , I feel like it’s gut renching, We have to keep going , but how, people keep telling me I need to grieve , but how do I do both? Am I being stupid?? I’m lost.
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I can’t think of moving on at this time. It’s been 11 weeks tomorrow when we lost our beautiful daughter. It seems too soon to move on, in an odd way, the grieving keeps her close.
I still feel guilt for not saying the right things to my daughter. My husband and I have cried every day since it happened. Mornings are awful knowing it’s another day without her. We ask why? Why our daughter? We are in denial.
I suppose for us, it will come naturally that we are ready to move on. We will never be the same ever again
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Hilga…. Just take your time, if you’re ready to move on you will know it. If you want to grieve then that’s ok too. After 11 weeks I still want to grieve my daughter because when I do I feel her close to me and I don’t want to lose that feeling. But I will move on because I want to but only when I am ready.
I have started watching tv for the first time tonight, so I suppose that is moving on in a small way. But I know I will be breaking my heart again tomorrow.
So do what you think is right for you. Sending hugs
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Thank you so much Beautiful, just to be heard by someone who understands, I really appreciate it. I really think you can do this , you’re so kind . Sending you love .
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It is going to be so difficult on Monday. My daughter would have been 34. We are going to have a family get together. Because she is not with us we are just going to remember her with love. Every one can light tealights , we will have a lovely bunch of flowers and a nice candle by her photo. We are going to have her favourite drink - Malibu and coke and say cheers with family members on video chat.
I’m so sorry we didn’t celebrate every birthday in style when she was here. But we must be mindful of our loved ones in the future and relish every milestone.
Im having a really bad day today, I miss my daughter so much. I look at photos of her and wish her back so much. I can’t believe she is no longer with us 
How on earth am I expected to cope, knowing I will never see my beautiful daughter again.
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I’m having a really bad day today too. I can’t get out of bed, can’t stop crying, feeling lost, broken, anxious, confused. Why our children!! So angry too. Sending love.
It’s awful isn’t it. How do we learn to cope with the pain that will never go away. If you don’t mind me asking How old was your child? Mine was 33. She was so beautiful and so kind hearted too.
But if you don’t feel like chatting then that is ok. Please look after yourself we have to find a way to cope (together) somehow.
My Sam was 30. He was a wonderful young man, has a lovely wife, little boy - who turned 2 just after we lost him - and a baby girl due in a week. He was strong, kind, loyal, devoted to family, funny, loving, tall and so handsome. Oh and very intelligent. He had everything. He was best man the day before. We are awaiting final results but so far a genetic heart condition has been found. It’s such a huge shock. Can’t believe it. I know some say you have the grandchildren but I feel so guilty being alive. It should have been me, his family need him and this new baby girl will never have met him.
I’m sorry we are in this club now.
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