Oh RM25 you could be me! I understand completely what you are going through and it just seems to get harder and harder. I thought I was doing ok, but this weekend I have hardly been able to stop crying, I miss my Mum so much. I still can’t completely believe that she’s gone.
I thought it would get easier as time went on but it doesn’t, does it? I feel worse now than I did when it happened.
I hope you have got some good friends and family to help you through this.
Thinking of you and sending love 
and 
. We’re in this together and we will somehow get through it, as hard as it may be. If you need, I’m ready to chat anytime. Take care of yourself.
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@RM25 i feel your pain. I am in pain every single day & cry frequently from the loss of mum in July and previous to that we lost dad last Christmas. I’m so sad I don’t know when I will start to get better. I looked after mum through what turned out to be a terminal illness - for 12 months I moved in with her to take care of her meanwhile my dad was very poorly also in and out of hospital and shockingly and sadly passed away just after Christmas. It was a tough time because me and mum were both grieving for my dad, with anticipatory grief on my part for mum, knowing she had a very limited time left. She knew that too and understandably my beautiful mamma also became low in mood. What keeps getting me in my heart my beautiful mamma was still so mentally able before she passed, parcels arriving once she’d died from little arts projects and sewing projects she had planned. She was looking at me over the rim of her cute cat eye glasses when we were sat in her living room whilst she ordered stuff & scrolled all sorts on her iPad. She deteriorated very quickly over a couple of days, having been in excruciating pain for hours at a time for a couple of months and despite having the best cocktail of pain relief allowed at home, sometimes we had to call the district nurses every 2 hours to administer top ups of meds for pain. I’m trying to replace the horrors and stress with better memories as there are plenty (of both) , but I’m still traumatised by some of what I saw & had to do for my angel mum. It’s shaken me right down to my soul. And I would have spoken to mum about how hard I find it without dad and vice versa but as they both went so close to each other both of them gone so close has rocked me badly. I’m dragging myself through my own life right now, trying. I feel like I’ve recovered about 1% since mum passed on 6 July. I didn’t get to properly grieve for dad as I was caring & worrying about mum. I wonder how or when it’s going to feel better.
I am keeping up my exercise, trying to eat healthily, aiming to get enough sleep (but not tonight) and thank god I do have a wonderful husband.
I think we are in this together & I don’t think things will change for me soon, despite a positive attitude, accepting what’s happened & trying to evaluate & reflect - advice I’d give my besties. I am with you in this, the pain is real and immense, but your are not alone - sending hugs and love and hope & some soft tissues to wipes those tears xxx 
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