HI Beth, I can so identify with your words, I always used to fall asleep with my head on Petes chest, listening to his heartbeat. I can’t believe his heart just stopped one day, it was sudden and unexpected. It was forty weeks yesterday.
Everyone around me thinks I’m coping really well but I’ve become a great actress.
Sending love
Muldool
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Thank you, July always tough month for me, Richard passed then a year ago, his birthday, my sons passing 18 years ago, a dear friends passing, tough month, I miss Richard every day, I feel like I am just going through the motions, but I know through loosing my son, it’s time , it doesn’t heal, or take away the pain, it just softens the edges, take care, sending a hug x
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Hi everyone, I’m new to the forum. I lost my lovely wife Sue to cancer 5 weeks ago after a 3.5 year battle with the disease. We moved down to Cornwall from the midlands just over 6 years ago to enjoy life by the coast. We would love each day together travelling around the area we enjoyed so much. Now I feel so empty and lost that I can’t enjoy those times again. We had made lots of plans this year but it never happened as Sue was in hospital so much. Now I go out to our favourite places and feel so guilty that I’m alive and she’s not. I feel so lonely.
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I feel exactly the same and have done so for the time after my wife’s death
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Hi, I feel very much the same, I moved down to Cornwall with my wife Sue to enjoy life by the coast. We would plan days out and really enjoy them together and would often say how lucky we were to be here. Sadly Sue got ovarian cancer 3.5 years ago and after a brave battle she died in July this year. I feel like most of me died with her, the loneliness and pain I feel now is unbearable. Like you people tell me it gets easier but I don’t see that yet. My daughter has been amazing helping me so much and stayed with me for a while with my new grandson which was lovely. But now she’s returned home to her family I feel lonely and empty, every day is a battle to move forward and find a reason to do anything. Rest assured you are not alone and I hope you can find solace in that, take care of yourself. X
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@Caz6, I am so o sorry you lost your son too, must have been young.
You take care, too.
Hugs.
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Hi . I also feel guilty also don’t know how and don’t want to live this lonely life without my hubby . 11 months since my world fell apart. My heart shattered into pieces. Sorry to say it isn’t any easier . Well not for me . All I have is beautiful memories of the last 43 years that we were together . But even that Hurst so much . I often just want to ask him if he remembers certain things that happened in our life. Funny things . Sad things. Just things that we did . I tell my kids some of the memories but obviously they don’t get it . The one person that would get it . Is also a beautiful memory. That lives in my heart and mind every second of everyday . Thinking of you all .sending hugs . Xtake carex
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@Dave2, I am ever so sorry for the loss of your beloved soulmate, you’ve come to the right place here. We can all relate to you, you will find such understanding people on this site.
I feel both glad but yet so sad that so many of us are sitting here alone on a Sunday morning, it is comforting though, to hear others’ thoughts and feelings to give us strength.
We are all here for you.
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I totally agree with all you say. Nearly two years on since the death of my darling husband and I just survive. I certainly don’t thrive.
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Thank you, he was 26, Car accident x
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@Misprint It’s not selfish at all, you enjoyed going out and planning holidays together, it’s natural to miss those times. I miss walking on the beach with Sue holding hands and laughing like young kids. But now I feel so alone and empty. I went to Bude yesterday for a walk, we always went there when the sun was shining, but it didn’t feel right on my own, lots of people there enjoying themselves as families and couples and I was alone I felt silly and soon returned home. We shouldn’t feel like that but we do. It’s good that we can talk albeit on line but it helps. I so understand your loneliness as I feel it myself especially at weekends. You are not alone take care. X
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Hi Dave2
Bude was also a place that Ian and I headed off to if the weather was ok. We loved it there and used to walk along the canal, up the lane to the cliffs and back along the cliffs into Bude.
I’ve been back with my daughter a few times but I don’t think I could face it on my own. I was there with her last week but the memories are still bitter/sweet for me.
Look after yourself,
X Julie
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Thanku all for you kind words. Had to do a job today I’m been putting off because I’m moving next weekend I wanted to take our dear little dog with us that died 4 years ago we buried her in garden I didn’t want to leave her with strangers so I dug her up and put her in a box to Bury at new house so she’s with me. I know jim wouldn’t want her left here but it’s really upset me. Her teddy was still beside her and it still sweaked so so sad I told her I was sorry to disturb her. Hope this doesn’t sound bad but I wanted her with me I’m lost so much just later I couldn’t forget her I will get a rose and put that near her .
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Hi . Misprint . So sad for you having to do that . But I totally understand .hope your not to upset sending you a hug . Hope your move goes as well as it can next week . Your husband will be giving you the strength and love to do these things. Is so awful that we have to . But we are all here for each other on this site . Sorry to have to say . But more than so called friends and some family are. Sending love xtake carex
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Oh Misprint, what a brave and heartbreaking act to decide to move your little dog to your new home. It must have been so upsetting and a shock to hear her little teddy still squeaking after so many years.
I think planting a rose is a lovely idea.
Look after yourself, especially with all you have to do next week.
X Julie
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Definitely not selfish ,you feel robbed as we all do,as you say it’s the little things, just not having them around, it’s been 4 months since my Joanne passed away, it’s so hard but I’m getting there, Ii know she’s around me and take great comfort knowing one day we’ll be reunited 
x
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@Trixie1
Hi Julie, what a small world! Sounds like you and your late husband Ian enjoyed the same scenes and outdoor life as Sue and myself. I was at the Olive Tree in Bude yesterday for lunch but it felt very lonely without Sue’s chat and laughter. Life does feel so very different now and empty. I will look up the Way-up group I think it helps to talk to as many people as possible and find some comfort. I get up every day not really knowing what to do or how to fill my day without Sue now, tears are regular with me at the moment as it’s still very raw. Thank you so much for helping. Dave x
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You are not selfish at all, I agree with all you say. I don’t watch TV any more, early to bed, early up and a daily bike ride to get me going. My son in Lancaster phoned last night to say he and his family are joining his in laws who are having a three day hotel family get together this week to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. I wish he had not told me. They claimed our son when he married and we hardly saw our two grandsons. Joyce and I had 45 years of marriage - no 50th for us. Take care and be strong 
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Hi. I so agree with everything you have said. I lost my husband just over 2 years ago and it still hurts like hell. I hate that people expect you to ‘start a new chapter in your life’ but its one that I don’t want. Even my closest friend of over 40 years just doesn’t get it - the feeling of vulnerability, the feeling that they no longer want to do things with me now that my husband has gone and we are a group of 3 and not 4. I have just moved house and that was very stressful but I do think it will help me to get involved with new people and new places. I’m doing my best to be strong and positive because it is what my dear husband wanted me to be. You’re right though, it is so sad and heartbreaking and so very hard to be here without the other half of me. Sending hugs to all. xx
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Oh Jim that’s so insensitive of your son to phone you and tell you he’s going away to in laws . It seems when your on your own no body really cares. There don’t know what it’s like till it happens to them . My Jim’s been gone just over 12 months and I haven’t since lots of our friends just seem to have forgotten about me. When your not a couple no one cares.
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