Misprint, he’s staying with them now mid house move! Then with them to the hotel a few miles away! However, his MIL does cook a mean Sunday brisket and has done so for the last 10 years 
We gave up long ago. Joyce held on until he deigned to visit her on her last day, some of her last words were to enquire where he was - on the motorway south. Within an hour I had lost her but I have my dreams. Last night I grasped at a shadow, she said,“How did you know it was me?” I replied,“Who else would it be?”, she looked younger, I felt the rib of her cardigan on her forearm
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Hello Jim742,
I’m so sorry that you and your wife Joyce, didn’t get to see as much of your grandsons as you would have liked. I hope you will get to see more of them in the future. You could take photos of them and have them framed and put them with any pictures you may have of your wife. It’s hard when other people’s lives carry on while ours stand still (well mine does). People don’t think sometimes of the impact of their words or actions but it can cut so deep. Like everyone on here says, we miss our partners and the future that will never be. I am six months in and it’s not getting any easier.x
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Hi. Yes this life we have now is so hard . I have kids and grandkids and I try to be the mam and gran I was . But I know and I think they realise I will never be the same . How can I . My life was my husband . We where so close and happy . Best friends . I muddle through each day ,trying my hardest , to find some positive . But all I have is heartbreak and devastation , and just wanting my husband and happy life back . Thinking of you all xtake carex
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I completely empathise with you. Even when surrounded by family I know something is missing and it’s my precious husband. It’s so hard to think of much else but I am working on it. I try to get out and about more but it really is an enormous effort but I hope it will help. I know my family is hoping I will get over the shock of losing my love and I know they have my best interests at heart. Big hugs to everyone who is suffering this huge loss.
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Absolutely everything everyone has said on this thread resonates with me so much. We are all suffering and feeling much the same. As I have mentioned on previous posts this is the second time that I have been widowed and I am really struggling this time - all our hopes, plans and dreams have been shattered into a million pieces. I try to focus on the present time - memories really hurt and the future seems bleak. And like most of you I just slap a smile on my face and pretend that I am fine and coping. I did tell one friend that I am struggling and she asked me why - hello I am miserable, lonely and missing my Husband
I have just been away for a few days with my Daughter and Grandsons - it was quite manic and not really what I am used to when I go away but now I am home the quietness, tidyness and loneliness seem worse than ever
And how many more cups of tea can I actually drink
Big hugs to everyone
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You have Just described my life to a tee
My husband passed away 11 years ago and this is exactly how I feel. So alone without being alone, the quietness in our home is so sad
I too paint the happy face but so hurt inside xx
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Hi . I am lucky to still have family living with me . But I can’t let them know how I really feel . They need to have a happy life like we did . I don’t ever want to become a burden on them . I really can’t imagine how hard and devastating it must be for you . 11 years is a long time , to be without that one person that was and is your life . It’s only 11 months for me and I am struggling so much . We where together from being 16 and I’m almost 60 . I just wanted to grow old with him . Instead I am growing old on my own . Not what we expected or wanted . I suppose all we can think is we where lucky to have found true love , and hopefully one day we will be back in there arms where we belong . Sending big hug and thinking of you xtake carex
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Hi Misprint,
Oh gosh, you are not selfish at all! Most of us still had plans for our future, only to be dashed by the passing of our loved ones. Two days ago (19th) it would have been my 50th anniversary (I was 18, Eddie was 23) when we married. He died at the end of 2018, and I still miss him so much it hurts. Most days I’m don’t know how I still go on. I will miss him forever, and tell him so constantly. I feel life isn’t really worth living, but he would hate to hear me say that. He told me he would try and watch over me, and I do believe he does. Just please know that you are not alone in feeling like this 
xx
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Hi Eleanor, sorry to hear about your friendship, having lost my Richard last July, I found my best friend of 30 odd years was very offish with me, wanted me to just snap out of myself, I am now trying to make new friends, build a new life, not easy, I’ve never felt so alone, and I miss Richard so much, half of me is missing, and always will be, sending you a hug x
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I feel exactly the same. I can’t bear to see couples and find going into a town unbearable
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I feel exactly like you. I hate going into town as we always went together. Hugs to everyone at the awful time.
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Dear God Misprint
This is not being selfish and yes that’s the hardest part having our lives turned upside down .The planning of anything from the mundane to the exciting is now done alone….Just awful.
Hold on
Deborah
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I totally get the couples thing,even adverts on the TV sometimes too , I get through by thinking we are all going up there one day, this is something everyone is going to go through one day,I got two amazing grown up kids and they need me, that brings me back down to earth so to speak
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Spot on 
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Hi Broken2222
My life is very similar to yours. Me and my husband were together from 17- 52 when he passed away suddenly of believe it or not ‘natural causes’ according to the coroner at the inquest as they couldn’t find any cause of death
Now even 11 yrs on I don’t understand how someone age 52 who was fit and healthy can just die like that in his sleep
We like you were meant to grow old together and I still feel like I’ve been chopped in half as he was that other half of me
I look around and see happy older couples and it hurts as I think why them and not me 🥲🥲
I also pretend to my family I’m ok as I don’t want them to think they have to include me in everything they do. I just want them to be happy and spend as much time as possible with their partners and be as lucky as we were when their age
You take care too and wish I could say time is a great healer but I can’t
Hugs xx
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Hi Teena
All these posts are so sad and all so similar. I totally agree with you about seeing happy older couples - it makes me feel exactly the same as you. For me the worst thing is seeing couples holding hands - I find it so evocative.
I also want my Daughters, their partners and children to be happy and not feel responsible for me - I try to be as positive as I can in front of them. My grandchildren are young and I don’t want them to be scared or worried about what has happened
Sending hugs x
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I do find that the people who say time is a great healer when you have been bereaved do not really understand the terrible loss you have been through and don’t appreciate how trite it sounds. Love and hugs to all.
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Hi Kimmi Lou
Yes it’s the holding hands that upsets me too
We always walked hand in hand everywhere
I have one grandson aged just one so I like to keep busy with him
Love and hugs to you too xx
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Hi Carol
Yes me too it’s the ones that haven’t been through a close Bereavement that tend to say that I find
Hugs help so
Love and hugs to you too
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Hi Teena,
,yes I find I get a lump in my throat when I see older couples holding hands. I have a friend who has been widowed 12 years and she finds this is the thing that upsets her the most, I also find music is so emotive and I don’t put the radio on these days in case there is a song on that my husband used to sing to me, which he did, often not very tuneful but it was so lovely. Love and hugs.
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