Hi George
I understand exactly how you feel. I lost Roger on 23 September 2024. I feel devastated and lost. I try to fill my time but nothing feels right without him. We did everything together. I can’t face going to the shops which we used or going to places where we went out for coffee etc.
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@george73
I don’t think the pain ever goes away George. I am probably one of the kindest, caring and most emapathetic people you could ever meet. The only reason that I’m telling you this, is because, until now… I couldn’t understand what my mum went through when my dad sadly passed away - before his time - with cancer. She never recovered from losing him. She tried… she really tried, for us, her children. But the loss was just too great. They had a very close, loving and caring relationship for more than 40 years, and did everything together. I did everything I could, at the time, to help and support her, or so I thought. But I didn’t walk in her shoes… until now. Now… I understand. Now… I get it. The pain, the anguish, the loneliness, the longing, and the torment she endured. Now… I can see how much she suffered. Somehow, she got through 8 years without him, until once again, cancer took her before her time. I pray that they are together again, happy and pain free. They were really, really good people. How can we expect anyone who hasn’t walked in our shoes to understand our pain? I think we’re kidding ourselves. No one can understand… only those who have walked in our shoes 
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George73
Yes sadly we are all walking in those shoes.
After losing Keith I can now understand how my mum felt when my dad died. They had been married for 63 years. My dad was 87 when he died and my mum 85. She lived for another 12 years and died at 97. I lived close to my mum so we spent a lot of time together.
I only realise now what pain she must have endured. Now I am in the same position in life.
Today I went to the cemetery. My mum and dad are reunited together there also my brother and now Keith.
I then walked along the beach but the tears just came.
Hope you all manage this weekend with some joy as well as the pain.
Take care.
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everyday is such a drag…no purpose…xx
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We all probably live in all over the place so far away from one another and that’s why I am so grateful to be able to share on this forum…xx
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Angel
It is good to talk on here we are all in the same horrendous boat and know how difficult life is on our own x
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Took a few days off work to spend sometime away and found myself talking to my angel throughout my trip…and that helped enormously…I truly felt he was walking along with me, seeing what I was seeing, admiring the scenery as I was.
It reminded me of when we used to go away together. My angel is always beside me, not physically but forever on my mind 
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Life is Mission Impossible for me and I am Ethan Hunt or so it feels.
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Why is it that things are so hard I’ve not been well I miss my steve I don’t get any family support it’s like they have forgotten me I just want to give up curl up in a ball and never wake up 
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I think we’ve probably all felt like that at times…what’s the point.can’t be bothered anymore. Its such an impossible dilemma , Li fe seems so cruel and un caring right now. We want to do familiar things but without our loved one its a real struggle and we know that visiting places or doing things we once did together just seems to open up the wounds again, We need to try and stay strong. Take care
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Pam14
Yes life is so difficult with our loved ones. We really feel it when we are ill and they are not there to help and comfort us.
Sometimes family are so busy with their own lives, which is natural but we just want someone to listen, care and make us feel loved.
Hope you feel better soon.
Take care.
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Hi Pm, Sorry that you have not been well, I hope you are looking after yourself. Is there much going on in your village so you can get out and have some social interaction ?
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Life has no purpose without our loved ones 
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Hope you feel better soon.
Please take care 
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I think we struggling and have taken a seat in God’s waiting room.
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Ive had a really bad week ive tried talking to friends but no responses i feel life has carried on for everyone else but stood still for me friend’s dont seem to understand why im griving after 2 yr 8 months we had been together since ages 17 my husband died at 59 im struggling i dont know how to move forward with my life, he was my life , i felt so low today tried reaching out to my friend but little response think getting on friends nerves they dont understand
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@Tinatina
I’m sorry for your loss and the pain you’re in. In my opinion, friends who don’t understand… aren’t friends! You’re right to say that everyone is just living their lives oblivious to, and not caring about what we’re going through. We’re the ones left with our grief, pain and loneliness. I’m sorry that I don’t have any advice. I’m really struggling too
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Tina, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. Your friends just do not understand what you are going through. My neighbour lost his wife suddenly and the Police asked me to answer calls from the Coroner on his behalf as he had trouble understanding people on the phone. When the Coroner had decided that it was natural causes, I took him to register the death. Asked him if he had seen an undertaker and we arranged for that. I and 2 of my friends went to the funeral with him as there was no one else. We asked him to come to the golf club for fish and chips on Friday. At 7.45 on the Friday he was at my front door saying he could not do the lunch and walked away. I thought that I had done everything I could. I did not understand how he was. I do now, because I have been going through it my self. I am lucky, my village has a Bereavement Cafe meeting once a month and other activities, I also belong to a book club so I have some social interaction. I hope things pick up for you and you get some social interaction
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Tinatina
I am sorry for your loss. Even after this length of time, you are still allowed to grieve.
Yes friends and family sometimes don’t understand the ongoing pain and sadness you are going through. Only those who have gone or going through it understand.
It is so hard to see others happy and enjoying life, when through no fault of your own you have lost the one person in life who you loved and they loved you and would listen to you and make you feel safe and happy.
I’m sure you feel so lonely and just want someone to listen to you. It is not that we want people to feel sorry for us. We just need someone who cares enough to listen. I do and it’s difficult to find help because we are not sure what help we need.
Keith died 22 months ago I also lost my brother 59 and my mum all within a short time.
I don’t mean to sound selfish but all my life I have cared for others and now I’m finding it difficult to care for myself going through this difficult time.
I think I may go to doctors next week and try to get some help.
We are all going through this grieving but we all need some help dealing with it.
Hope you find help and someone just to listen.
Take care.
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Tinatina
I hope you will be feeling better.We are all here to help and support you.We all know the emotions and feelings you experience.Everyone on here is so supportive and friendly.It has helped me.I have bad days and very bad days and slightly better days.It is all so very difficult to comprehend.Our brains/mind is a mess.Its difficult to find/have a true friend.Someone who genuinly cares.If you find one like that treasure them because they are very rare.I apprecite people have their own lives to lead,families etc such is the frantic pace of modern life.I went into a church today and spoke to the minister.He sat and talked to me and what helped me a lot he ‘listened".that makes the world of differnce someone to listen to you.Know your feelingsSince my wifes funeral hardly anyone ever phones now,that hurts me.They probly think "Hes probably doing ok now"4 months now and the pain and tears still flow.Like you my wife was my life and how can you move on with your life after losing the one you love.I feel its not a life as such its just a sort of survival in the new "normal’ to try and adjust to.If we have relatives and friends that can help us to adjust to our loss thats good but if we dont have that support that makes things very hard.I do hope you will feel better.Always reach out to us on here.Take care
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