I lost my dearest husband 6 months and 4 days today. It sometime feels like only yesterday and sometime feels like a long time ago! One thing that remains the same is that every second, minute, hour of everyday I miss our chats, our laughters and everything that we used to do together - I feel so happy reflecting on those moments but at the same time - I also feel deeply sad underneath: The two feelings seem to, somehow, go hands in hands every time 
I feel so empty and lonely without him by my side- no one I can ask ‘what should we do?’ ‘What do you think darling?’ Or ‘shall we?’ Feeling of loneliness is so overwhelming!
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Yeh thats exactly how i feel ! Im 10 months in ! Jeez does it ever get better ? Im starting to wonder. I dont like being this sad or unhappy but there just doesnt seem to be any choice does there in this crap journey we are on xxx
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Yes thats true nearly 6 months in feels like time moves quickly yet slowly.
I believe i am just existing in this new life without him. I miss him everyday i talk to him everyday time goes on without him everyday. I hope it gets easier but not sure it ever does.
Hope everyone manages to sleep although some nights it is harder than others.
Take care x
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Your words resonate, the joy of seeing photos that then make me crumble and cry. The days that are so slow and the weeks pass quickly.
After 20 weeks I find it more difficult in some ways. I see photos now and I fall on love with her even more, when I though it was not possible. We were lucky that we were so in love, we had it all, but alas, we took time for granted, and now she has gone, she is not coming back.
I just try so hard to listen to the words I give clients, which is to gently, in time, reframe my response to the devastating event that happen to us. See joy, feel love and know that one day I will recapture the ability to feel happy and have fun.
It seems a long way just now, and like all of us, I wish I could move swiftly through the the tunnel that is the grief process, and pop out at some point in the future where things won’t seem so hopeless, although I won’t heal, the wound will scar over, and feel less painful.
This is a painful process and it is somewhat reassuring that the feelings shared on here, are the same that I am having, and the same that many others have endured and survived. My god this is painful, and I offer a virtual arm around the shoulders of anyone who feels as I do. God knows how, but I guess we’ll make it
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We are not alone - take care & have a good night sleep everyone xxx
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Can’t sleep! Missing him so much. We were so close we did everything together everyday. The only time we were apart was when we both went to work. We got even closer during the lockdown spending 24/7 together we were happily inseparable!
Then, suddenly my world came crashing down without any warning that I would lose my soulmate forever . I haven’t been able to sleep through the nights ever since, haven’t been able to do anything without the thought that we should be doing this together. It’s true that without my angel, I now only exist!
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I know its so hard isn’t it ? I was married for 35 years too to a lovely man too and lost him last xmas ! To go from being with them everyday to nothing is just awful … its so tough ! Take care of yourself and try and sleep because it will help you heal . Xxx
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Yep the world keeps turning but we don’t do we … our world has come to a standstill or thats how it feels anyway ! Xxx
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Yes @Deb5
Exactly like yourself miss him everyday dont really know when I’ll feel better dont ever think it will. Life is just an existence trying to get through each day.
Just not interested in starting over again being on my on highlights just how hard it is now.
I dont want to wish my life away but without him i am lost.
People do not know how hard this grief is unless you have gone thought it 
Take care
Lynne
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@Galaxy75, Like you and @Deb5 I miss my husband more each day, and after 10 months, life seems to get harder. My fridge/freezer required a new seal and the loo needs a plumber. There’s always something to worry about and with Christmas ever nearer, it would be good to hibernate.
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Indeed ! I feel like im hibernating anyway with awful weather we are having and you just dont see people as much in the winter do you ? Theyre all inside like us … but thats what makes it harder cos we are inside too … but now without our loved one 
and sod xmas - cancelling that this year ! Just a simple tree will do me xx
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Yes, sod Christmas, bah Humbug, even the adverts make me sad, the Xmas goods in the stores and the music. I’m really not in the mood
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Yeh i went into a store other day … playing xmas music beginning of november !!! Had to walk out ! Couldnt stand it xx
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I’m not sure I can even do that @Deb5 I feel like the gringe about it . It’s just he loved it so much I can’t even look at the adverts . We were always so caught up in it . It’s so hard love x
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Hi @Deb5 @Rome18
Me too spending Christmas on my own not that any of us wanted to but just whats
now happened. Dont think my company would be good and watching these TV adverts of happy family Christmas groups is just too much.
No xmas tree for me just some tinsel and a candle to light for Kevin
Tame care
Lynne x
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It is !!! Only reason im putting tree up is because i bought him it last year and he stayed awake all night watching all the lights on it … god i remember those times and it breaks my heart to think about it, knowing now he was near to the end - my poor precious man xx
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After my heartbreaking Christmas and New Year last year with my very poorly husband in the nursing home, I just want to be on my own despite invitations. My acting isn’t up to fake merriment. What with the clashing of terrible memories and wonderful and happy times, I shall just do as I please. No decorations, just a special candle. Hugs to everyone.
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Yeh gonna light a candle for him too 
in fact i bought a special xmas one from m&s xxx
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Yeh indeed, know what you mean ! Nobody has invited me anywhere anyway ! Last year declined all invitations xx
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Me too from M@S
Lynne
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