I am sorry, someone stole from your husband’s grave. That happened at Sue’s mum’s.
Take care
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Hi. That’s very upsetting.
Where my husband is buried. The cemetery is well looked after.
I put things on my husband,brother and mum and dad grave. They are very close together. No one ever removes things.
You wonder why people would do such an awful uncaring act. Sadly not everyone is caring.
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How low can you stoop stealing from a grave that’s awful,as if it’s not upsetting enough to visit having that to contend with too so sorry
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Such vile people in the world - how low some people can go never fails to suprise me
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Because people that steal from graves are pure scum.
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Tinatina
Thats a lovely thought.I hope so much that is true.I long for my dear wife to come back to me.It broke my heart when she passed.I iss her so much and my life will never, ever be the same again.
Take care
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I don’t know how people can live with themselves - stealing from graves. It’s despicable. They obviously have no conscience.
Does anyone ever get the feeling that they don’t want to do this anymore. By that, I mean live this life that has been forced on us. I would never do anything silly, that would be wrong, but more and more I sit here and think “I’ve had enough. I just don’t want this existence any more.”
It’s not a life - it’s an existence.
It’s not a home any more - it’s a house.
All the love and care we put into it has gone 'cos there’s no-one to share it with. I love my Bill so much, and when I look round at the things we bought to make it nice, it breaks my heart that he’s not here any more.
I send my love and hugs to you all
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Yes 21 months since I lost my husband of 55 years, I’m trying very hard to make life for myself but it’s just an existence. Xx
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Harriet. I feel like that all the time i just don’t want this lonely existence like you i’m not suicidal but i pray I won’t live to be old i can’t bare the thought of years and years of this lonely life . I hate my own company i have my children who are great but they have their own busy lives .
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I agree. 22months for me. 
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I have supportive family too but they have their own lives. I’m not suicidal but not keen on feeling like this forever, he’s always on my mind it never goes away. Love to all in this position x
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Ìts natural for us to feel like we have no purpose wè have had our lives turned upside down our lifes will never be the same again , some days are harder than others its heartbreaking, we can have people around us but feel so lost and lonely somedays i feel like whats the point in carrying on not fitting in anymore it hurt s when i hear my friends plans for summer holidays etc … i just listen to them while my heart is breaking wishing my husband was ere ,
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I feel the same as everyone.
I am with my 2 sons and partners this week. I don’t fit in anymore without Keith.I wake every day and feel sick and weepy thinking I have to continue life with all this grief. You begin to think it’s only you feeling this way until you read how others in this community feel.
Thank you for listening to me
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Tina Tina
I have read your words again this morning. They are just how I feel. In a cottage looking onto the sea with my 2 sons and their partners asleep I should feel joy. l had a terrible night with bad dreams waking up. I have and feel so sick inside. I should feel happy but I can’t because Keith is not here and I feel so lonely. I won’t do it because I wouldn’t want to hurt my family butIfeel like walking into the sea to end this pain.
Sorry for this but I need to share my pain with those who understand
Thank you.
Take care all who are trying to cope with new life.
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Hello Julia12,
you are certainly not alone in feeling this way. I am only 14 weeks into this nightmare and struggling. I don’t think I’m the suicidal type but feel indifferent about survival at the moment. I am so desperate I’ve begun to receive counselling - as a shy person this was a big step. Have you had any counselling? It’s too early to say whether it’s helping me deep down - but it’s giving me purpose once a week.
It just seems impossible to stop thinking about my sweet wife and how much I miss her. It is sheer torture to be separated. I feel guilty about my daughter and her life not being able to give me the joy necessary to want to carry on. But I just adored my wife so much that I don’t want this world without her in it.
I met someone the other day who told me they have just started to rebuild their lives again 3 years on from their bereavement. Not sure if that gives me hope or just frightens me.
I hope you can find some small nuggets of happiness to enjoy.
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Hi Jojay
Thank you for your reply and reading my post. It is early days for you. I’m sure your daughter wants to bring some happiness into your life. I know my sons do, It is so difficult when you lose your soulmate. They are everything to you and they are always in your thoughts. You know your life can never be the same without them. I went to the GP recently feeling I needed some help. I’m going on a walk next Monday and doing some talking therapy.
Don’t know if any of this will help but I will try.
Just want our loved ones back and we know we can’t.
Such pain for us all. Take care.
Yesterday, I laid to rest, my beautiful soulmate, the love of my life, my greatest support, and my best friend.
We were inseparable for 20 years and did everything together, all of the time.
He was just 58 years old, and fought a brave battle with an aggressive cancer for 9 months. He gave it his absolute all.
It was an extremely tough day, but I knew it was going to be, and I had been dreading it.
I don’t know how… I really don’t… but somehow, I made it through yesterday, although it has left me emotionally exhausted and drained.
This morning I awoke up very suddenly from a deep sleep at the crack of dawn.
It took all of 2 seconds for the horrible sick feeling, that I am now familiar with, to take residence in my stomach.
As if I needed reminding… the stark realisation hit me like a tonne of bricks… that this is my new existence from now on, without the love of my life.
Lonely and isolated.
An existence to be lived without my soulmate and best friend by my side.
He was my compass and now I feel so lost and alone, not knowing which way to turn, or who to turn to.
My soulmate was my rock, my support, emotionally and practically, my safe space.
I know that nothing can ever fill the enormous void that has been left by him, but I hate these constant feelings of loneliness, isolation, fear and dread.
All of a sudden, I feel so vulnerable and the world seems a very cold place.
My life was very different before, we were both always excited about the future, always looking forward and busy making plans together.
We were filled with happiness and enthusiasm and we had complete peace of mind, knowing that we had each other, and we always worked everything out together.
How different life is now, 100% unrecognizable… the difference is so stark!
I miss my soulmate with all my heart and soul… it really hurts, and it makes me panic, that he’s not here.
I just want him back… desperately.
He was always here with me… and for me… no matter what.
Now he’s gone forever, and I can hardly believe it.
He was the most loving, kind and caring man.
Genuine and down to earth. I honestly couldn’t have wished for anything more. He was my world and I was his.
I don’t know how this can possibly be true, and how unlucky we have been.
Without any exaggeration… I feel so very lost and alone.
I find it very difficult, almost impossible to function normally and I am so scared… this is my existence from now on.
All the “normal” things which I used to love doing, are left by the wayside, because everything now seems so pointless and meaningless.
I hate my own company, and have this feeling of not feeling safe and needing constant interaction with people (anxious/panicky) which just isn’t possible.
I don’t have too much of a support network, and that scares me.
We were everything to each other, and it really worked well for us, but what happens now?
What I regarded as impossible, has actually happened.
I have lost my soulmate and best friend… and I have lost myself too, trapped in this dark nightmare.
I am the same age, 58… and we had our future dreams.
I am also mourning the fact that he will be missing out on so much life, which should have rightly been his.
He should have had another 25-30 years ahead of him.
Nothing makes any sense at all, and there is no fairness in any of this.
I love him deeply and miss him desperately.
I just don’t know what to do?
I am sorry… but I can’t pretend to myself, or to anyone else, that it’s ok… because it really isn’t.
Thank you everyone for listening and for your support, which I really appreciate.
Eve xx
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Nothing at all can console us - it is pure agony - and so many different types of agony!
What the hell are we supposed to do now?
Well done for surviving the day x
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Heartofgold
I am so very sorry for your loss as you say he was far to young to die life is so unfair
My husband of fifty years died very suddenly from a heart attack he went out to play tennis and never came home again. Like you he was my everything. For you it’s very raw the pain is the worse pain you will ever feel, as the months go by you do start to get used to being on your own i still cry but not as often.
The loneliness never really goes away and the years ahead just fill me with dread but unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. My only advice to you would be to keep busy do you have a job? I’m retired so don’t even have that to fill the time. Except every invitation that comes your way gives you less time to think . Keep posting on here because we all know and understand the pain your going through sending hugs 
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@Jojay
Thank you for replying.
Yes… it is pure agony, and I honestly don’t know what the hell we are supposed to do now??
Do you have family/friends support around you Jojay?
I just can’t get my head around how someone so full of life, strong, fit and active, could be struck down by cancer and just vanish from this world.
This is the problem… I cannot imagine this world without him in it… I just can’t.
How can he no longer be here?
We were devoted to each other and nobody can love or care for me the way he did.
It makes me feel very vulnerable.
I no longer have my safety blanket.
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