Harriet4bill
It is better to say exactly how we feel on this site. It somehow helps.
Nobody judges us for what we say, think or feel.
I don’t seem to get angry with anyone or anything anymore.
I do get upset and hurt by things people say when they don’t understand. How could they.
Keep saying how you feel.
Take care.
4 Likes
Hariet life sucks i am sorry you had a wasted trip to your husbands grave that must have hurt. I always get upset when shopping for food Chris and i shared the cooking but like you can’t be bothered to cook for just me. I always see couples my age out shopping together it breaks my heart it should have been us. This time last year i was planning my golden wedding party at least he made it to 50 year but was gone two months later. Will be my birthday next week first one without him, he always had a little pile of surprises presents waiting for me when i got up. How differently this year will be.
I don’t honestly think no matter how much time passes that i will ever be really happy again i’m just not the same person . The only advice i could give you is keep busy i find filling my time stops me thinking too much i work in charity shop two days a week, and have joined an exercise class Monday mornings it helps to fill the time sending 
2 Likes
Barbara
Feel the same way to. We didnt quite make it to our 50th anniversary. 22 months now and the pain never seems to go away.
Find it difficult to relax. Feel I must do things to stop me thinking but still thinking. You are right we are just living a different life we don’t want.
Take care.
5 Likes
So sorry for your loss. I lost Roger in September 24. It is unbearable xx
2 Likes
KateTr
So hard for you. The pain is like no other. We don’t know what to do to make it go away.
Thoughts come into my head and just have to have a cry.
Take care.
3 Likes
Harriet But wasn’t it nice that someone else left flowers on Bill’s grave. obviously thinking of him. Just a pity that there was no spare container or room in the existing ones. Hoping things get a bit less sad for you soon. 
1 Like
They were left by someone who hardly bothered when he was alive, so no, in my book it’s too late when they’ve gone.
I’m so sorry to have to disagree with you. Please don’t take offence.
4 Likes
Harriet, You know the full facts and are quite right to put your point of view on anything. Sorry, I am trying to be more positive in my life so it tends to spill over. No intention of upsetting anyone, just trying to see something positive in things
2 Likes
Its such a roller coaster. Sometimes now, after 14 months, I feel quite positive. The idea of moving forward, taking our loved one with us, helps me. To me that means keep talking to him, telling him whats going on and how I’m feeling, including him in whats going on. I like the idea of continuing bonds. Perhaps they can hear us , who knows. It’s weird that we have consciousness and are here at all. Life is a mystery. It’s all much greater than us.
4 Likes
I talk to Phil every day. Its 22 months since he passed but like you I still feel close to him. I went for a long walk with my daughter yesterday and we caught up on all her news. I felt Phil was walking beside us both enjoying our company as much as I did hers. He will always be in our hearts, just because I cant see his physical presence doesn’t mean his spirit isn’t all around me.
5 Likes
Good morning,
I would always look forward to Sundays before losing my darling soulmate of 20 years.
There’s something very isolating and lonely about waking up on a Sunday morning without the love of my life being by my side, especially if you are not lucky enough to have much/any family to support or visit.
Somehow, (unable to concentrate at the moment through grief) last night, I managed to watch the film “A Man called Otto” with Tom Hanks, not really knowing anything about the storyline.
It was so sad, showing the effects of a man who loses the love of his life to cancer and all the effects from that and how it impacts his life forever. I then had to try to get to sleep
Losing your “Special Person” changes you, your life, and everything in your life forever.
It’s so far reaching and so sad to lose the love if your life.
Take care xx
8 Likes
I totally agree with you
I to watched that film it was very emotional and so true in many ways
3 Likes
So true its so much worse at weekends not having the love of my life beside me . The grief sometimes is overwhelming and i cry a lot. I miss my soul mate so much. 
7 Likes
Why are weekends so much worse than weekdays (and they’re not good). It’s quiet where I live most days, but somehow Saturday and Sunday are awful. I can shed tears every day but more so at the weekend.
Bill and I never did much at the weekend but just being together was all we wanted. Now it’s just me and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it 
4 Likes
You are right. Can we ever get use to this different life. I miss Keith every day and as much as I try to enjoy things. I can’t , but put on a brave face.
I get comfort from people here because we all feel the same.
Take care.
4 Likes
I agree weekends and bank holidays are awful we never did much just go for walks or a little ride out somewhere but we were together. You always see people going past laughing and talking it magnifies how lonely you feel .
8 Likes
I’m hanging out washing and suddenly I get this feeling that she’s walking up the path, just about to say hello, as if nothing has changed, that normal life has returned.
And I’m “seeing” someone who likes me but I wonder if it’s fair on her to have these moments of remembering and feeling the loss of my wife. It’s so complicated this emotional rollercoaster
2 Likes
Sending a big hug
1 Like
Yesterday went to visit my husband’s grave only to find someone had stole something from it , it upset me not be because of what it cost but the fact id bought it for my husband’s resting place how can these sort of people sleep at night disgusting
3 Likes
Im sure your wife is around you all the time the other day i sat in our garden i really got the sense my husband chris was sat with me i looked up and a tiny white fether floted down infront of me with tears in my eyes i smiled and said iknow you ere , i go to spiritual church they say when our loved ones go over the rainbow they return back to spirit life free of pain and illness so im sure your lovely wife walks with you sending hugs
5 Likes