Bad day for me yesterday as well. 9 months since I lost my soul mate and it seems to hurt more each day. Take care everyone xx
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Hi @ AnnieG1
Yes bad day yesterday too. 9 months for me also.
Had my 1st counselling session yeaterday could not stop crying. I have no cryed like thst since it happened back o 8th June 23.
Thought i was doing ok this session ahown me not doing well ataul.
This mornjng i feel prety down guess confronting what happened that day is still in my mind.
Hope you have a better day today
Sending you hugs and 
Lynne x
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Hi Lynne, I had counselling and cried every time. My cousellor said it helps to get it out of you but always felt exhausted afterwards. I hope today you are feeling a bit better. Proberly like me you have bad days and not so bad days. My daughter is taking me out today so hopefully mine will be a better day. Take care.
Ann x
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It’s one of them days woke up sat down stairs got my phone a going through my photo crying my hart out probably crying for help. I am finding it so hard to keep it together being two sides to me happy ish with friends a family but in the house not all the time. Feeling like this miss my tina 3 months now wishing it was me not tina sorry just a crap day
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Hi @ AnnieG1
Yes counselling will be hard but it helps to get through the grief process. I hope it helps me deal with feelings better i tend not to show them to others so mostly now only cry when on my own these days.
I dont have family close by my daughter is in Australia so i miss her and family badly.
She phones ever werk but not quite the same. Last saw her for her dads funeral in July 23. I am planning a trip to see her this year. I spent last Christmas New Year on my own dont want that this year so will probably go over then
Enjoy the day with your daughter.
Lynne 
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@Martin2 we all have day’s like this and it is very early days for you. I wish I could say it gets better but for me it hasn’t it’s just got a tiny bit easier. Some days I am back to square one others days it is slightly easier. Take care of yourself and rant on here as we all know what you are going through sadly. X
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I seriously thought of having a drink tonight . Had a crap day . But thought better of it . It would only make me sick and have a bad head in the morning . And the loneliness and horror of this life now , would still be here. I don’t actually drink either. X
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Hi @Ilovehorses
I know the pain just never goes away sits behind the surface.
I thought 9 months on would be feeling better but somedays i feel like im back to day 1.
Life is just so tough without them.
I dont have any family around so finding it hard on my own dealing with any problems that crop up.
Just been referred for counselling now so see how that goes.
Take care
Lynne
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New year’s eve was always seen in with my husband having a drink and me a cup of tea. … A few months after my husband died, I filled a pint glass with proseco and downed it in 10 minutes . I suffered the next day . And it didn’t even help me sleep . Just made me feel like 
lol. x
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Why do people think we even want someone else . It’s not like replacing a pet . What I know is hard. But to replace our partners ,it makes you wonder what sort of a relationship they have with theirs . I know people do find ( I don’t even know if it’s love) again . But I think it has to happen naturally if at all . And our partners would always be in that relationship . How could they not . A new relationship wouldn’t happen if our partners hadn’t died . It makes me think of the meatloaf song . Two out of three ain’t bad . These are just my thoughts . And as for it getting easier . I don’t think so . We adapt to this new different life , doesn’t mean we like it or it’s easier. Yes some people haven’t got a clue . Sadly one day what they have thought , might just come back and bite them . x
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I have friends like they it will get better in time and you’ll find someone better one day better what the hell would they know every couple argue and have bad days no relationship or marriage is perfect I lost my angel nearly 8 months ago suddenly he was only 51 so so sad I miss him dearly every single day still Cant believe he won’t be ever coming back his birthday Xmas new year and my birthday was so sad and quiet it doesn’t get easy you just have to learn to live with the grief as grief is love with no place to go
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What a thing to say and how cruel of your friend
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OMG . how awful is that , and to say it to you . That’s how this life is so unfair . If your friend not happy in her life , then she should just change it . She has a choice . She could leave him . We never had a choice ,our partners were stolen from us . And your well rid of that other person . She defo not a friend . Bloody awful world we are left in without our partners . It’s just as well this site is here , with people that do understand . x
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WTF yes you don’t need self centered people like that in your life now . You would of thought she would of showed more empathy if she was so upset about her other friend . I’m so glad I don’t have any friend . I’m a billy no mates .lol. I do have work colleagues, but they are not always nice to me . We were talking the other day about an old kids TV programme called the Raggy Dolls . They were joking saying who we were on there . I said I’m sadsack . And they all bloody agreed . I thought a bit insensitive, but it’s now what I expect from them . I was always the funny person that made them laugh . But I think they have forgotten who I used to be .
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Yes I would of had to have a quiet word with her as well . It’s a shame she might of been able to smooth things over a bit with you both . But really it’s her problem now you aren’t friends with her . You have enough grief to deal with without her adding more hurt to you . The raggy dolls was out in the late 80 s I think . Seems like a million years ago , when life was good and I was happy x
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Very true ,no one ever replace my husband Phil ,he was my strength and support,He will always be my husband even though he is not by my side any more
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Yes that’s what I think also . We were that close to each other . I always said we have the same DNA. We met as teens and he made me into the woman I was . I say was . I don’t know who or what I am now . x
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Thank you for your reply
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Hi would have drink with you all on here by the sounds of it we all didn’t crap day yesterday sat just watched tv but thinking what if could I have changed the out come. Should have more with the time we had together I know tina was in hospital fighting A whole year with the ending what hurts an keeps going over an over tina said we was good together and had a good life. If she could see me now I broken wreck x same as everyone on here some one to listen an reply try an stay strong thanks for listening so glad I did not hit the bottle would have been not good might numb the pain for a bit then thoughts take over xxx
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Hi Martin , yes really crap day yesterday . But posting on this site did help . I didn’t get to sleep till after 3, was watching Chicago fire. Obsessed with it now 
. Trying to have a better day today . Promised myself a pamper and two hour bath later . Only if I do the housework 
lol. …Back on the treadmill of life . But put it on a sloooow setting . …Martin it’s still such a short time since your Tina died. You will be feeling like that . I can’t say it gets better in time , cause it hasn’t for me , but we learn to adjust . Over two years for me , and I still think of the what ifs . And like yesterday I was a broken wreck . Look after yourself and make sure you eat something today , and yes keep of the drink . It only numbs the pain for a short time .apart from your 
at 7 x
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