@Judy10 So sorry for your loss, it’s still early days for you at 12 weeks. Our world fell apart when we lost our love ones - so lost so heartbreaking so empty so lonely…thank you for your kind words. I do hope you are having a good time as can be with your lovely family and also hope you will be okay on Sunday - please take good care.
Sending big hugs back to you 
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I’ve done my bit looking after my grandson for the holidays now I’m back on my own
I really miss Steve and don’t see a point to doing anything I feel lost and lonely and it don’t seam to get any better
I loved having my grandson he gave me a purpose and the reason to carry on and to get up in the morning
Will I ever get used to any of this Well, any of us ever get used to being on our own x
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Sorry to hear you are feeling lost and lonely. It somehow seems to get worse after having been with other people and then back to being alone again! It is hard without our love ones, we just float along with life with no purpose. Sadly, we have no choice but to try and get used to this lonely life - so heartbreaking!
sending big hugs x
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@Angel1309 what you said about hugging and kissing is exactly how we were too . It’s torture not having him here . My son won’t let me shift anything . It breaks my heart to slide my wardrobe and see his clothes . I will have to soon
I understand where you are coming from. 6 weeks and every day I think “what is the point”? I couldn’t say goodbye. Last he was staying at a friend’s house to look after their dog while they were away. Spoke to him the night before - everything fine. Never saw him again!!! 48 years together and gone!!! I really can’t handle this amount of pain and grief. Wish I was with him
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I know for sure I won’t, I had never lived alone before and knew I would not like it! I have a friend who lost her husband 7 yrs ago and she still detests living alone and says she will never get used to it!
It just feels hopeless and whats the point anymore, family have their own lives to live & can’t babysit us, they can’t imagine what it’s like and I hope they never have to!
My husband said to me you will be fine, your mum and my mum both coped but the difference for them was they were not totally alone my sister and his brother still lived at home so they had company at least xxx
Sorry if I’m not being very positive today but its the weekend and they are the worst and the longest days!
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I know that feeling of wishing I was with him, only thing that stopped me in the early days was I couldn’t put my family through that after losing their dad/granddad. But one thing for sure I have no fear of dying, in fact I had to have a colonoscopy after he passed as bowel screening had picked up traces of blood, I thot well normally I’d be worried waiting for the results but that time no fear whatsoever because I knew he was there waiting xxx
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Hey pam14 i really understand where your coming from and im on holiday with my daughter and grandsons and back home tomorrow. Even though I have my son he spends alot of time upstairs because of his autism and anxiety and i spend alot of time on my own and i hate it without mt husband and i really feel your pain 
sending hugs to you.
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I never wanted to be alone Ive never been alone before
It’s very hard I can’t get motivated to do housework
Today I got the bus a walked round newbury for 3 hours and Newbury is only a very small town
I know we are all in the same position it’s hard isn’t it x
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Oh Pam 14. I was on my own for over 20 years before I married my Bill. Life with him was wonderful. He was so kind, so considerate and he spoiled me rotten. I didn’t love him because he spoiled me. I loved him for him. I would have given him the world if I could. He was everything to me and now it feels like I have nothing left. I’m just not ready to be on my own again. It’s too soon.
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We were childhood sweet hearts at school we meet again when we were 24 and married we were married for 42 years
Sorry for your loss sending hugs x
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Oh, I totally understand the living alone stuff. I’m like you and until losing Val I had never lived alone. I left my parents home on the day we got married in 1973 which itself felt somehow strange and then Val & I had 47 gloriously happy years together until she was taken from me the day before Christmas 2020. Find it so hard to get on with things in the house any more, just don’t see the point, yet before I was always on the go trying to make our home as good as I could, but now my hearts just not in it. I try to get out if only to the shops or for a coffee, just a different place, but on my return I feel suffocated the second I close the door and often just completely fall to pieces. We’re all struggling I know and I just wish that I could see an end to all this pain and heartache. Take care
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I feel this isnt a home anymore its just a house
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@Jol So sad isn’t it not being able to hug or kiss him anymore…I’ve a cushion that say “Hug this pillow until you can hug me! I hope every time you hug this pillow, it reminds you how much I love you!” I believe I’ve posted the photo on my earlier post, I go to sleep hugging it (him) every night 
You may not be ready now but I’m sure you will know when you are ready!
Take care x
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6 weeks still early days - I am so sorry I know how I was losing the will to live most days earlier on, so I can totally resonate with how you must be feeling.
I never got a chance to say goodbye either and that breaks my heart every time I think of him and his final moments without me there beside him
sending love and hugs x
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Yes thats how it feels, suffocating, and your right its no longer a home! Theres no point to it anymore, its just so hard and I can’t see it getting any easier because I will always miss him no matter how much time passes, 47 yrs married cannot just be forgotten xx
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I know exactly how you feel, my youngest Grandaughter was 2 yrs old when my husband, her Grandad died 21 months ago.
I looked after her like I did my other 3 Grandchildren along with my husband ( happy days ).
Up to now she was my little crutch , would say to me , you miss Grandad don’t you Nanny and she would give me a cuddle 
.
But those days are coming to a close now, she starts school on Wednesday , i am crying now 
just thinking about it, i will really miss her, it feels like another loss . I am going to have a lot more time on my hands now, which will make the loneliness even worst .
I am looking into volunteering, but I feel so anxious about it all, havnt got my best friend here to give me the confidence that he always did do.
I was on the phone to my son this morning crying which I know I should not really do , he has lost his Dad also.
I try to be brave in front of my children , sometimes i’m very good but other times I am awful and I can get very angry as well that I am in this position , and feel really sorry for myself .
It just doesnt seem to get any easier.
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It doesn’t get any easier does it I will be lost without my grandson I feel like my daughters have forgotten him apart from the one that lives in new Zealand she’s the only one that asks me how I am x
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Its all so awful, I used to.hear anout people losing their partners, but did not realse how awful it must have been for them u till now as I am in the same boat ‘sos to spk’.
Children can be so selfish when they marry , specially boys , its a very true saying a daughter is for life but a son is a son till he takes a wife .
They have their own lives now , I sometimes feel a burden.
Grandchildren are so different , they give us all their love dont they .
Going to be a lot of tears this week .
Love and hugs to you
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