Hello George, I really can’t offer an answer. I am new to this platform but so far I have been assured that it has provided real help and support for people like us. As we know, every relationship is unique, and our journey’s are so personal.
4 Likes
Hoya George nor can I there seems no point of anything anymore. Hugs Jo xxc
1 Like
@roni52 thank you . It’s a different world now . At 5 months I went back to work for financial reasons. It is 15 months now and it’s all is wrong still . We were so happy together . I am so sorry for everyone
2 Likes
I think it will always be wrong the is a massive hole in your heart tgat only they could fill, a void in your life, a lonilness a ache for there touch. Hugs Jo xxx
3 Likes
Yes its hard watching your partner suffer knowing the end is coming, I think we will live with that image for the rest of our lives, but guess thats the price we pay for loving them till the end, hard as it is
3 Likes
I did not finish that last message as my cat interrupted and I pressed reply in error. I wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss and those of us on here know exactly what your going through and I know you will find comfort in the support you will get because we are all going through the same take care, sending hugs xxx
1 Like
Hi George73. My husband passed away 9 weeks ago today. Like you say, nothing has any meaning any more. Bill and I did everything together and I can’t bear the fact he’s not here any more. Everything is pointless. It would have been our 10th wedding anniversary next Friday. 
Could be a difficult day.
2 Likes
Thinking of you x
1 Like
So sorry
Sending big hugs xx
1 Like
Taking a week off work this week to declutter the whole house!
I’ve underestimated how emotional it would be to go through all our things so everything I touch it breaks my heart. I started at the weekend with the kitchen clearing out all big pots and pans as they are too big one person. Yesterday and today cleared out the study feeing so deeply sad and hollow and going through the paperwork with his handwriting on - so heartbreakingly sad Tomorrow I am supposed to go through his clothes - will I be able to? I’ve underestimated how emotionally it would be so far - will have to see what tomorrow brings and go with the flow! Fingers crossed I will be okay to carry on!
Miss you and love you so much my darling 
3 Likes
Hiya Harriet its just over 11 weeks for me, I lost Gra on the 16th of June fathers day, we did everything together could even finish each others sentence. Our 16th wedding anniversary was the 2nd of August, yes it was hard but not as bad as I had built it up in my mind to be.I talk to Gra all the while I wished him an happy Anniversary, it hurts like hell but we have no choice. Hugs Jo xxx
1 Like
Hi, so sorry to hear of your loss, its so hard isnt it. No doubt your anniversary will be a tough day, anniversaries always are. I lost Val after 47 years of marriage and it would have been our Golden Wedding Anniversary last year. I had intended to go to the church where we were wed on that day but sadly I had covid and couldn;t go. So heartbreaking. I still went at the first chance I had. I knew it was going to be hard, but still wanted to go, so many beautiful memories of our wedding day Hope next Friday isn’t too painful. Take care
2 Likes
Good luck with your sort out. Almost 4 years now since losing Val and I haven’t been able to go through any of her stuff. She was a fan of 50’s fashion with lots of dresses and the big lacy underskirts, and all the shoes and bags to go with it …she looked fabulous. But so far I’ve not felt up to having a sort out, though it might help, who knows. Cant even bring myself to throw out things like old trainers etc that I’m sure she would have chucked out herself by now. I’m sure we all still talk to our missing loved ones, I know I do and I hug her clothes hanging in her wardrobe as though I was hugging her. I can still vaguely smell her perfume. Dont know how long its going to take to feel any better. Lets hope we can all find some comfort. Take care
4 Likes
Just do what you feel able to @Angel1309
I have managed to do very little clearing out since my husband passed over 5 months ago. But I’ll get there at some point.
My kids were wanting some of his football and rugby tops etc so I’ve been trying to get them to go through the stuff I thought was best for them, but they are really struggling with that. So we will just get it done when we are able to. There is no rush.
See how it goes tomorrow but perhaps it might be helpful to breath a little when you are going through things and just remember some of the good times.
I’m sure you had many of them together.
1 Like
roni52 - my husband passed almost a year ago now. I find that I wear some of his tops and it gives me comfort - although a little large! Other stuff my son took such as his fishing and shooting clothing and some of his cufflinks. They are the same height and so it all fits my son quite well. I am glad it is getting used. His other clothes I sent to the charity shop of the Hospice where he spent his final days. I couldn’t bear seeing it in the wardrobe - it was too upsetting. We all deal with things in our own way, but eventually things will be sorted. Most importantly our loved ones are in our hearts and minds and will never be forgotten.
2 Likes
Yes I wear a lot of his jumpers and it’s good to have that comfort.
I don’t mind having all his stuff here - I don’t think I want it to be moved but I will need to at some time I am sure.
I don’t need his stuff to remind me of him as he is in my head all the time and like you, I will always love and remember him.
When my dad died my siblings all wanted his things, but all I asked for was a photo of him and my old dog ( who had passed but that my dad adored ) that he used to have by his bedside.
It still sits next to my bed.
It is just so so hard isn’t it. Such sadness for us all. Xx
6 Likes
Sorry for your loss
Sending hugs
Spent today going through all his clothes, putting them in bags and labeled them and put them in one corner in the dressing room! Afterwards, my heart sank looking at his empty wardrobe - heartbreaking
I do, talk to him too everyday, morning afternoon and night, telling him of my every move and it feels so good as if he was by my side at all times. I do miss hugging him so badly as when he was alive I never walked past him without hugging or kissing him - sounds crazy but true! Now I am miserable everyday no longer able to do that
best wishes.
3 Likes
Angle 1309 it’s been 12 weeks and 4 days for me and memories come up on Facebook of the fantastic holidays we had together and like you miss our laughter and my husband storys and like us all feel so lost without them I’m away with my daughter son and grandsons and will be going home Sunday and he won’t be there and i feel i want to stay away forever. Hope your ok as can be and what helps you keep going and hope you have good people around you. Sending hugs 
2 Likes
Thank you @roni52 I managed to, though feeling so deeply sad and hallow but kept going, put all his clothes in bags and put them aside in the dressing room where all his other things are kept. I don’t think I can bear to throw any of his things away - forever! It’s been 16 months for me and I find myself more attached to our house more and more each day. I’ve thought of downsizing but now realised that I won’t be able to for a long while -there are so many beautiful memories that will keep me here for a long time. Today has been a sad and reflective day
Hope tomorrow will be a brighter day.
Best wishes,
1 Like