Ever since my husband became ill 7 years ago i have woken up in the mornings with a dreadful feeling of fear. I lost him 14 months ago and thevfear inside me is overwhelming at times. I wail and cry every morning. This all passes eventually
Until i wake up the next day and its there again. Go to bed fine but morning waking is dreadful. Feel ashamed to be like this but not coping on my own. It never seems to get better. Does anyone understand this fear. Dont know whether to post this cos i feel so vulnerable in mornings lonely and scared.
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Hi, I had this in the early days, I went to the GP & he said there are chemicals in our body that are highest in the morning that are exaggerated by our upset, he offered medication to calm it down in the morning or he said as soon as you get up go out for a walk as exercise uses up these chemicals.
For me the last thing I wanted to do was go out but I did & when I got home I felt calmer, still upset but not with that overwhelming fear that I had when I woke up.
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I understand what you are feeling i lost my husband nearly two years now
And i am scared all time panic takes over .
Big hug to you
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Its horrible isnt it. Cry everymorning through panic feelings. Need someone to show they care for me and help me get back to what i was. Could it be PTSD. If you need a chat anytime please message me. Maybe we could help each other. Dont know where you live. I live in Chester. Take care. Am thinking about you. Hugs to you.
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Ive heard anxiety can be worse in the mornings too. Dont think i could get up for a walk at 6.30 am but i do understand it could help. It passes once i am dressed and had my breakfast but wish i could lie ib bed and not have this panic feeling of being alone. Take care and thank you for your response,. I know its not just me. Hugs to you…
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I would like that… im in london
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I thought it was just me. The mornings are far harder emotionally than the rest of the day.
Im finding keeping busy seems to help, but it’s still difficult.
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I am the opposite, the mornings are probably the best part of the day. I struggle with late afternoons into early evenings, but it is getting a ‘little bit’ better, though still a long way to go.
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I panic everytime I think of life without him. For some strange reason its worse when I go shopping! I see couples doing everyday things and that will never be me again. I feel jealous and angry and so very much alone. The smallest thing can set me off and I dont know how to stop feeling like this, I wish I did.
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@Katy7 Same here ref shopping (food). All I see is all the stuff I used to buy for J. I think rather than try to stop it, just go with the flow, and one day, probably without you realising, those things setting you off will diminish over time.
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I hate shopping for food. Cant be bothered with making things we used to have. Often make do with a ready meal but nothing really appeals. Food for one is so difficult. I stand in supermarket and nothing inspires me.
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I agree Mick
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Debbiea.I can understand how you feel as I have the same feelings every day.i lost my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue on the 1st February last year
Don’t feel ashamed as it effects everyone different xx
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Yes, I understand exactly how you feel.
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I feel exactly the same. It has also been 14 months for me. The stress and anxiety has made me physically unwell. I also feel ashamed (I am 75) that I cannot cope and feel so lonley. I am OK when I go to bed but I get very anxious and scared in the mornings. I am hoping it will get better when the Spring arrives and it gets lighter.
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I am the same, Debbiea. I understand completely. It’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I’m not coping on my own either, the loneliness is horrendous. I have no family for support and friends have drifted away.
I wake up in the morning absolutely terrified, it’s horrific. I don’t start to feel better until lunch time and I dread going back to bed because I know how I will feel the next morning.
I wish there was something I could say other than I feel the same terror. I know how incredibly hard it is. I just it would go away for all of us.
David. x
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@flowergarden , nothing to be ashamed about at all. The loss is something that unless you go through it, is such a traumatic ordeal, no-one can imagine what you’re going through.
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I totally get it…waking up is brutal and feels like you’ve been cheated out of the life you thought was yours. It is 2 weeks today since the love of my life was taken by a massive heart attack. I got to see him on Thursday and it took me 3 hours to get ready because I had to keep stopping to cry. However, it was also important to me to look my best for him. Nothing I’m doing makes sense so I’m just rolling with it and somehow the end of another day without him arrives. Take care of yourself x
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I’m so sorry for your loss, SwissArmyWife.
The mornings are truly awful. I wake up every day at 4am and hope that it has all been a bad dream but the house is cold and silent and there is an empty space next to me. It’s real. It has been 8 weeks for me and I cry more than ever.
The future terrifies me. My wife should be with me, she was only 57. I don’t know where she’s gone.
All you can do is get through each day as it comes. Everyone on here has been a great comfort to me. I have no family so I don’t know what I would have done without their support.
Please keep posting. Everyone here understands what you are going through and will always be here for you.
David.
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Thank you so much for your message. I am currently getting ready to attend a memorial service at the regimental chapel where his name will be read out with other veterans who have passed. It’s the things that should be normality that I’m finding the hardest such as blow drying my hair or choosing what clothes to wear. He would always compliment me on how I dressed to go out and i miss his smile of approval x
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