Why is it everyone not in our shoes assume that evening’s must the worst time of the day. Not true for me.
At least at night you can TRY to go to sleep, all be it with tears, but you can WILL yourself to try and dream.
Sadly I haven’t for ages … But every night I hope that this will be the night I have another dream about him…
BUT the mornings…I HATE THEM
… just over 16 months for me
… And I still HATE that every morning is yet another day away from when my Phil was alive and with me.
I need to use SO much energy to just get up and face the day, which includes going to work, and walking our dogs before I do.
It’s TOTALLY EXHAUSTING facing every new day.
I’m so TIRED ALL THE TIME.
Sleep is still crap anyway … Never sleep through , get a couple of hours at a time if I’m lucky with long periods of restlessness in between.
I’m still just so sad and lonely all the time… every minute of every day… And I can see no end to it…
Still on waiting lists for counselling…been months now…
Sorry for the sad post at the start of the day.
I hope you all have as reasonable day as possible…
Thank you for the space for me to share my feelings
No need to say sorry I find mornings a struggle especially these dark and miserable months we’re going through just hope come spring we all might feel a little better, take care x
hi @Cathphil i am exactly the same have found the mornings the hardest part of the days!!
i too used to be up at the crack of dawn, full of energy, preparing for the day ahead etc…
now i just lie there till the very last minute before i HAVE to get up and it’s torture…
the thought of facing another day ahead without shaun absolutely breaks me…
so many people say “oh that’s so good you manage to sleep a little that’s good for you” and i just think “you have no idea?” i may sleep a few hours a night but it’s always broken, upsetting and my mind will go into overdrive thinking, worrying about the future and how i’m going to keep things together for the children…
im not as far into this journey of hell as you, its 17 weeks today since shaun was taken from us so cruelly…
i just don’t see anything ever easing or how i am now ever improving xx
Agree! I don’t want to get out of bed to face another day with out my hubby. He always brought me a cuppa tea in bed , only 12 weeks since he was taken and I feel as my life is a dream and I’ll wake up. Want to curl up and die.
I find the mornings the hardest too it’s taking every bet of effort just to get out of bed. I only lost my husband last week and I still feel like I’ve not accepted he’s gone. He would also bring me a cup of tea every morning and we would sit in bed together and talk about what was happening that day. We really were a team I know I was so lucky to have him and I don’t know how I’m ever going to survive the rest of my life without him. Nice to know I’m not alone in how I feel, sending hugs xxx
Yup. I too find the mornings incredibly tough. It’s so hard to summon the energy to get out of bed and my thoughts are invariably gloomy. It is miserable. Certainly the dark and greyness of this time of year does not help at all either.
Hi @Cathphil oh yes the mornings , when you first wake , and it all hits you again ,this is now your life , …Not that I sleep very well . Chris use to say I could sleep on a washing line , now it’s about every couple of hours and then awake for an hour . But that’s a lot better than it was at first . I would just sit up all night , out our back , talking to the stars asking Chris were are you . …I don’t seem to have any motivation to do stuff in the house ,I will start a job ,then just leave it for another day . And wander from room to room as if I’m looking for something ( or someone ) . Morning where always busy ,Chris dashing about getting sorted for work , then he would kiss me and hurry out the door , often he wood dash back in and say " did I kiss you " of course I always said no , just to get that extra morning kiss. I would give anything now just for that quick kiss , x take carex
Yeh mornings are hardest arent they … first thing i think about is him and that i have to face another day without him … miss his smile, his humour, his physical.presence. so very hard for us i know … we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope it gets easier ? Some days it does and other days its just bloody hard work surviving in this crap world … take care … i get ya and i hope it gets easier myself 1 year into this :(,xxx
Aw … i know what you mean … its all such an effort some days isnt it? Im like that … no.motivation to do anything and put jobs off … even shopping …if i can get out of it i do but we have to eat dont we ?
I got a job to do today and dragging my feet. I might go do it now and get it over and done with ! Take care. Youre not the only one xx
Totally agree mornings are the worst for me, after a very broken nights sleep, likewise have not slept through the night. It is exactly 7 weeks today and I am due to return to work on Monday. The dog is what drags me out of bed in the mornings, but I then get back into bed afterwards and have a cry before contemplating the day ahead, feeling exhausted, now I will have work to contend with, I dread to think how I will feel come the evening.
I have registered to several charities but the waiting lists are months, so upsetting when you need it now!
Sending best wishes to you - you are not alone by any stretch!
12 months for me too @UnityMan , honestly i think the lonliness gets worse not better … i feel it more now than ever people just dont really care do they … unless its on their terms ! X
Thank you all so much for your replies and words of understanding and total empathy.
Had a crap day …work and back to the vets with our youngest dog… Who is still recovering from a serious op just before Christmas…he’s only 18 months old… And all these things we have to do alone …so heart breaking…
But I honestly mean it …the best thing about this forum is when you post something new, and then get so many replies that ‘get you’
Thank you each and every one of you
Lots of love and hugs to ya all
It’s been seven weeks since my partner passed away I was given sleeping tablets from the mental health team because it’s impossible for me to get to sleep but they don’t work I’m so restless sitting watching the TV is impossible because of programs we used to watch together eating is another problem I start eating then I think of my partner Ann and I lose my appetite when I eventually do get out of bed in the morning instead of doing what I used to do with Ann I’ll struggle to do anything the loneliness is overwhelming I keep looking at her chair and then get so upset I’ll go back upstairs and just lay on the bed not knowing or wanting to do anything my GP is concerned because in seven weeks I’ve lost over three stone in weight I’ve got absolutely no motivation I keep getting told to talk to people but I have no friends or family to turn to I’m on a waiting list for talking therapy but they said it will be months before I get to see someone I’m not sure how much longer I can carry on with my life I miss her so much
Hi@Boo2, please keep ‘talking’ on this site, It really does help , you are having such a dreadful time at the moment , your whole life has changed, we all do understand .I’m not saying it will get easier in time ,but we learn to adjust . We will always be heartbroken ,and want our partners so so much .please be kind to yourself, sending hugs xtake carex
Have you tried ringing samaritans to talk about your feelings a bit more in depth ? Don’t suffer in silence , as @Broken2222 says talk on here how you feel. Its totally normal you are bereft you know - we all are. Please try eat a bit … even if its just soup. Your wife would want you to care for yourself you know xx
@Boo2 hi , just checking how are you today , I know stupid question . Please try and eat something today ,even just a slice of toast . …We are all here for you ,if you feel the need to " talk" ,sending hugs xtake carex
Broken2222 Hi I’m not too bad today and I did manage to eat half a sandwich it’s not much but it’s a start having people like you showing concern helps so thanks for that I will keep checking in you make sure you take care of yourself also
Hi everyone,
Having a tough day.
It’s 500 days today. I don’t even know how that is possible.
I still do not believe it really happened, I still believe he is here, I still rush home from work to be with him hating the thought that he’d been on his own, (I had to care for him 24/7 for last few years while still working) I’m obsessed with having my phone with me all the time incase he needs to call me to come home, and help him with something.
I get up every day ( the hardest task of the day) I walk the dogs , I go to work 4 days a week, I volunteer one day a week on the wards at the hospital where he spent so much time, I keep going. I don’t sleep properly, I don’t eat properly, I have no enjoyment in planning anything.
I don’t want to go out, but I can’t stay in either, I don’t need company but I’m so lonely all the time, even when with others.
16 months … 2 Christmases and new years down … No one understands how nothing has changed or moved on for me since the day he left me.
Except my grief just gets more and more intense everyday.
I don’t want sympathy , I just want people to understand that I’m not okay, I’m sad, acknowledge that in me, and accept me for who I am now.
Like many of you on waiting lists for counselling… Though not even hopeful that will help, but I don’t mind trying…
Aw … @Cathphil i feel for you . Im a year into this and its so very hard isnt it all our hopes and dreams gone out of the window … snd were stuck in this flipping awful situation without love of our life ! I dunno what will make it better ? I have a few ideas myself but i know its a very hard road we are travelling and we gotta just try and find happiness wherever or however we can ! It must be out there somewhere … i hope it is anyway … it has to be - other people carry on after becoming a widow - my own father became a widow at 80 and then got married again … ! Wow … if he can find some happiness cant we ? in whatever way that is ?? !! take care xx
people just dont really care do they … unless its on their terms ! X
