Another house that is exactly what you want will come up for sale, unfortunately houses sell for either asking price or over.
You can do this, I’ve done it and it seems so hard at 1st but once you find the right house then the excitement takes over and you start to look forward to moving day.
I would advise though start emptying rooms now of anything you dont need and start packing up rooms or items you are taking but aren’t used every day.
Hi Punto
First viewing done, I’ll see how it went tomorrow. The thought of clearing our home is daunting but I’ll do it a bit at a time. I have started in the garage but that was because you could actually walk round.
I’ll buy more storage boxes, I’m not ready to part with anything of Stephens yet.
Thanks again for your encouragement x
Do it room by room, i kept bits that were sentimental to me of Robs as still not ready to part with alot of things. X
Well today I’ve potted up some plants, built my weather vane for the garden and tided up the garage so I can now get at boxes much easier.
I’ve had the last 2 days looking after a 2 year old that was sent home from nursery, he definitely wasn’t ill once he came here my house looked like a bomb had exploded when he eventually sat still.
New passport on order and now going to drill a few holes to fit doorbell, new coat hook and some mirrors to go up. Then sit out in the sun for a bit.
Its strange doing all these little bits myself but I’m so glad Rob taught me how to use a drill and how to build furniture as its skills I’ve needed over the last 3 years.
Dear Punto
You’ve had a good few days, well done you. It’s amazing what we can do when we have too. I always helped my husband but more the fetching and carrying. I’ve amazed myself what I’m capable of now he’s gone, I know he’d be proud.
Thank goodness for YouTube.
What a busy bee 
you have been. I have cut some buddleia down in the garden . With my husband’s cordless saw , he something he always did . I was so pleased with myself that I could actually use it .
Dear sherbet
Well done you. I have two fallen trees blocking a path, I’m not brave enough to get a chain saw out. Stephen would have had them chopped and stacked in no time. His drill and hand tools will have to do for now.
I wouldn’t be brave enough to use a chainsaw either. The cordless saw I used is only small quite lightweight. There are a lot of little unfinished jobs that my husband didn’t get round to finishing.My son has been doing them for me .
We can all do the jobs that need doing its having the confidence to try thats the 1st step.
Once you feel you are able to start trying to do odd jobs that your partner would do take it slow and Google tools needed.
I often wonder if I had gone 1st would Rob cope with housework, bills and cooking and generallyall thongs associatedwith looking after a home? I know he would learn and its the same for me I need to learn how to do the DIY that he did.
I feel proud for how I’ve coped in just under 3 years, and most of it is due to how we shared our lives and thoughts together that have given me the strength to carry on and not give up, believe me I’ve wanted to but then I think about my grandchildren and how proud we were of them and how I want to continue helping and loving them its helped keep me focused.
Keep looking forward dont give up.
Sandra x
Dear Sandra
We will do it, they are willing us too. The chainsaw is a definite no but I’ll give pretty much anything else a go. My first flat pack had me crying in the middle of the floor cursing Stephen, I’d put some bit together the wrong way round. I could almost hear his voice, read the the instructions properly.
The house is ready now, I’ve filled, painted, drilled, pointed and repaired the fence. He’d be so proud. First viewing done, hopefully more to follow. Then I’ll move on to a little house I can work on, Stephen I’m sure will come too.
Reading this fills me with hope for my future to come. I’m so scared, but you bring much comfort that helps a little. Well done for all your projects you have done. I hope in time I’ll get to that point. Sending hugs for the day.
Dear LJ
We have to hope, we have to move forward at some point. I’m not a strong person, since Stephen died traumatically in our home I’ve not spent a night there alone. Our house is difficult to find, it’s beautiful but too far from anyone for me now to feel comfortable. I don’t drive so realised straight away that I couldn’t live there. The night it happened there was a big hole in the kitchen floor where a wall had come out, there was no plaster in the walls, the kitchen was partially fitted. The whole house needed jobs finishing that Stephen had almost completed. It just had to be done.
It’s the emotional side I struggle with. The last 5 years we have had an Easter egg hunt in the garden for our wonderful grandchildren. The garden is big with lots of paths, hedges and trees. We hide chocolate and little gifts and hang bunting from the trees and hedges. It’s my favourite thing to do with them. This year I suggested an outing instead but they were so disappointed, so I’m doing it, on my own, as Stephen would have wanted.
We carry on for others and hopefully this gives us strength to move forward for ourselves too x
Hi Helen, it sounds to me that you’ve done an amazing job with the house. It can be daunting enough when you you’ve done it before but in your situation it’s quite incredible, well done. I hope your Easter hunt is a success and brings you joy.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
Dear Tom
My son finished quite a few of the jobs and I had someone in to do the plastering. That was when he thought I’d be going back or he was to have the house. When I decided to sell he stopped, he doesn’t want me get rid of the house his dad loved. It’s has made things very difficult between us at times and he’s fallen out with his sister completely.
My husband could do pretty much anything and everything. Over the years I must have picked up some tips. It’s a shame I was never allowed to decorate, turns out I’m not bad at it. He missed a trick there x
That sounds like you’ve done an amazing job. I find being in the house alone very difficult, my son stays a couple of days a week, which helps alot. I don’t drive either and not near a town I can walk to, all this has added to my anxiety and isolation. I am trying to get out with friends and family, do struggle and often still break down. I do hope to return to work at some point, but that’s where we actually met, and for sometime worked together too, so it’s so hard to think about it at the moment. I just feel so lonely and lost most of the time. I long for a time when I don’t have knots in my stomach all day. Sorry to ramble on. I hope your Easter egg hunt goes well, I remember the days I used to do that with my children, such lovely times. Thank you for your help and support. X
Dear LJ
Download the Uber app. I can’t bear the thought of not being able to go where I want too. It’s very reasonable and they are there in minutes (I have to walk to the end of the drive or they wouldn’t find me)
I go to a bereavement group occasionally, the people there are lovely. One lady I spoke to said how much she benefited from going back to work, she had worked there a long time. Having people check in her throughout the day and giving her a purpose to getting up.
Have the best day you can x
Thank you, I just have to be careful with money, the bills are so high and my wage isn’t brilliant! But I will put some money away so I can go out when I feel more up to it. I will certainly try to make the most of my day, you are an inspiration to me. Thank you so much. Enjoy your day too. X
Helen 39
You have done an amazing job, with the house . You should be very proud of yourself. And I am sure your husband would be proud of you as well . I also don’t drive, I am quite lucky as we have a good public transport network near where I live .I have used the uber occasionally. it really quick and easy to use . Hope your Easter Egg goes well, you and grandchildren and family enjoy the day
Hi Helen, it’s s shame about your son who I suppose is still too young to realise that what’s important isn’t found in objects or places but in families and the ones you love. I think it’s pretty obvious that a large house and gardens in a out of the way place isn’t ideal for someone on their own let alone someone who can’t drive. I’m sure he’ll come round to the idea when he realises your needs. He is also grieving in his way.
My wife and I were thinking of maybe buying a small holding for when we retired to have something to do. I glad now not to have started anything like that. It’s one thing as a couple to do but on your own is another question entirely. I hope your son comes round to your moving soon.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
Hi LJ.G, I understand how you feel about work as I have worked all my married life with my wife. We closed our English academy when she was told she had 5 months to live. I couldn’t have been working knowing I was missing even a moment of being with her. Fortunately she live 2 years and every moment extra was a blessing. Since she died people have asked if I intend to start teaching again and I can’t. Without my wife it would be awful. I would rather take up something different. I hope you are having a good day
Wishing you all the best
Tom