Hi Lynn T
Thank you for your wise words.I keep going over & over all that happened & it’s just making me feel so sad. You are so right we can’t change anything & must carry on but I feel so guilty . I know my darling wouldn’t want me to be like I am, he was so brave all his life he had lots of heartache during his life but always carried on being kind & happy & never showing his feelings.
I am going to try really hard to be more like he was .
Thank you Lynn you have really helped me think about it all differently.
Unhappy x
Hello Unhappy_127
Remember he is now at peace, no suffering, pain or heartaches. He has taken a piece of your heart with him and when your heart hurts it’s just him holding you tightly and giving you his love. Death can never separate love. Think how lucky you both are in finding each other and having had all that love for each other. He would not want you to suffer but to remember him with your heart full of joy and the happiness you shared. He’s still with you as he never left you. Take care and big hugs x
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Some very wise and helpful words from Lyn as usual and I agree wholeheartedly. When I now feel those tears coming I try to think that they are there because Brian is nudging me and not letting me forget him. My husband was also very kind and certainly never showed his true feelings while he was ill. He was normally a very private person which frustrated me at times but he was special to me just as all our loved ones are so it’s up to us to remember them with the joy they gave us and not so much sadness. Hopefully in time this joy and memories will overcome the sadness.
Good luck
xxxx
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Hi Lyn, I am still full of sadness over my mum. Still nothing makes sense to me but I’m hopeful with time that things will improve. You are right, death can never separate love. Love is eternal and in fact I love my mum more now than ever. I was just discussing this last night with my dad that mum is in fact me. I aspire to be like she was, I shall never be better than she was though and I wouldn’t want to be. The fact remains that I am half of her as half her DNA is me. Such an incredible thought and I am so lucky to actually exist at all because by sheer probability I should not be here. I owe her my life so it’s my duty not to waste what I have left.
We all share something in common, grief and love. Grief is a symptom of love. I have felt like I have many failings and guilt but I’m working through those like many others here. I hope I can be someone my daughter will aspire to be like in the years ahead before and after I’m gone. In the meantime, I’m looking forward to some happy memories rather than the painful ones I have right now.
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I lost my husband 9 months and 3 weeks ago, he so loved our little family, I know he’d want me to carry on with my life as best I can he’d want me to Live, love , travel . I’ve been away a few times with my grown up children and grandchildren and of course it’s emotional at times but we’re making New memories which unfortunately my husband can’t share but I know he’d be happy we’re doing things together. I try to stay strong as it’s what I know he’d want, obviously I can’t all the time, shed many tears when I’m alone , I get up everyday and try and note at least one positive thing from that day. Keep strong everyone. Xx