Multiple grief

New to all this and don’t really know if it’s going to help but hopefully it might, I lost my dad in march 2022 from pulmonary fibrosis he was only 75, nine months later dec 28th I found my mam dead on the settee, very sudden no warning, it left me and my younger brother to try cope best we could, then Jan 12th this year I lost my dear brother aged 45.
I’m struggling and consumed with grief to the point where I see no light really in the end with all this. Any advice would be really appreciated
Thank you :pray:

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Hi @Wethery52 I’m so sorry for your losses. That’s awful and it sounds so sudden for them all to pass like that.

I lost my mum last September. She was my whole world, my whole family, so I have no close family left. It does make you feel alone. But I have been on this site many months now and it helps to talk to people who understand so you feel less alone. I find it helps just to take things one day at a time, just get through the day, then move on to the next. Don’t put any pressure on yourself to be OK before you’re ready. Let others know how you feel. Do you have friends you could talk to? Grief counselling could also help. I also try to distract myself from my grief a bit, so I’m not consumed in it 24/7. I try to watch TV, read books and go for walks. I have times where I am at a total loss and so down and miss my mum so much. But I also have to be strong in the knowledge she’d want me to be OK and to carry on. I also light a candle by her picture and talk to her every day, it helps me feel closer to her. I’m sure your family would want you to carry on too. Take your time and talk to people if it helps.

Take care x


Hi thanks so much for your reply, I’m sorry to hear about your mam, it really hits you hard losing a mother, I have grown up sons but I still feel so alone all I’ve known from being little have gone, it’s just really hard to get my head around it at the moment.
I’m always quite a strong person and feeling like this is awful, yeah I’ve a really good friend she’s my rock, all I’ve done is grieve these past two years, it’s mentally tiring x

Wethery 52 you have taken a complete battering so its no wonder you are consumed with grief.
My dad passed away in his sleep 10 years ago it was awful, but he was 91 and was in good health. A year later my mum had a stroke and ended up paralysed down one side and losing her speech. She lasted 5 years miserable and in pain before passing.
My wife became ill and became a living skeleton, bedbound and i became her carer for her last three years. She passed last month and to be honest it was a blessing as shed lost all quality of life , was miserable and in pain. Life can be cruel and to be honest i felt it was all my fault because i was cursed.
Its hard to cope with so much loss
We all have our stories and are suffering stress and seeing no future is a common reaction for all of us.
Ive been feeling ive had everything taken from me. But lately it dawned on me that all the people I’ve lost, loved and were proud of me and i owe it to them to get my life back on track.
Its not going to be easy, but we all have to do our loved ones proud and get on with living.

Hi thanks for telling me your story, sorry I’ve taken a while to reply, sometimes it’s easier to bury your head which I’m trying not to do.
Apart from losing a child there’s not much worse than our losses.
I did suffer a miscarriage many years ago at 14 weeks so I suppose I did but didn’t, it didn’t phase me though but it’s all these little traumas that happen in your life that become too heavy to carry so it’s important to be able to talk about them, which is something I’ve never done.
Even an 52 I’m still learning lots about myself, baby steps and being kind to myself is the best advice I can give myself and anyone else

Hi thanks for your kind words, yes my parents were pretty much my world as I took care of them for a few years towards the end, well I’ve always taken care of them in some sense, I practically brought my brother up so his loss is a real struggle atm, I get days where I don’t know who to grieve for it’s that close together for them all, life is so cruel at times and it makes me stop and think what is the point at times x