Mum died due to nhs medical negligence 💔💔💔.

Losing a parent
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My mum passed away in February due to the hospitals medical negligence. She was 55 years old, and had a daughter (me) and 2 younger sons. I found out that the hospital had hidden the fact my mum had a cancerous lung nodule on her lung for 2 years. They didn’t tell my mum. Didn’t check up on her and didn’t send any letters to her in 2 whole years despite having this information from scans and consultants corresponding with each other but not my mum or her family back in 2019/20 we have found out.

My mum became ill in 2021 and we all thought it was because of work, to our shock the hospital told my mum she had stage 4 cancer which was not curable and she would therefore die :broken_heart:. The hospital confirmed that a radiologist also had put incorrect results twice 2 years ago saying the cancer lump hadn’t increased when it in fact it had massively. They also didn’t refer my mum to the lung department despite them knowing my mum had something on her lung, that something being cancer.

My mum was left with no options by the time we found out. She couldn’t have any treatment because it was not curable at that time but would have been back in 2019/20 when the hospital first knew if they had told my mum. My mum and family knew none of this. The hospital basically left my mum for two years and let cancer manifest inside her for that whole time not even telling her or checking on her. I can’t handle that they get to go to work everyday fine and live their lives yet my mum is 6ft under the ground and we visit a grave. The nhs don’t seem to care and a medical negligence claim although we are pursuing won’t bring back my mum or do anything against those consultants.

Everyday is a blur without mum she was my best friend. The nhs have completely robbed my mum of her life and our families world has been turned upside down. Remember when you are clapping for the nhs and letting them go first in the queue at supermarkets, not all nhs are good people some are in fact killers who don’t know how to do their job properly and have no remorse for that. They are not the ones that have to live with this for the rest of their lives.

Me my dad and brothers sit there knowing mum was supposed to be here had it not been for them. The hospitals complaint handler doesn’t even respond or have any empathy. I am leaving it with the solicitor now but the once positive bubbly girl I was is fading each day. Just pure upset and anger.

The hospital had a meeting and 6-7 consultants knew the information they hid from my mum and the radiologist twice put the wrong results , someone who is supposed to “specialise” in reading scans yet over a few months couldn’t even see the massive increase (which my mums GP has since reviewed and told me anyone could have seen the increase) yet what happens to these so called consultants? They get to walk free, no jail time, and get to carry on going to work and nothing that can bring back my mum.

Several failures towards my mum and they have completely robbed my mum of her life. The mental torture this has on me and my dad and brothers mind every single day. It would have been sad and traumatic if they had told mum and mum died of cancer but atleast we would have known they told her and tried and had treatment, but to leave someone for two years not in the know letting cancer spread throughout so mum had no options by the time we found out is a completely different circumstance, how can you live with that. Knowing your mum would have been here had it not been for the complete and utter incompetence and monstrosity of the nhs :broken_heart:

My mum was a beautiful soul so rare, kind and loving, always radiating a smile and positiveness for others. I wish I could be more like mum but my total outlook on life and people has changed.

Utterly heartbroken daughter.

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Hello, I am so sorry for you and your family. There is little I can say because your pain is very visible in your post. I just want you to know how sorry I am and I do hope you can find some peace and hope in the near future. Sending love and blessings to you and all your family. S xxx

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Thank you for your reply and words it is much appreciated xxx

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I’m so sorry for your loss. I have recently lost my dad in a very similar scenario and work for the NHS myself. I feel so conflicted now about returning to work when all my trust is gone in an organisation that I have always loved. We also complained through the internal complaints system (Pals) but I would recommend complaining to your local CCG as they do respond very promptly and will fully investigate. I hope things get easier for you. Grief is hard enough when losing a parent but when you know there were missed opportunities or the system failed it is so much harder. I have so many regrets and so much anger and bitterness. Guilt is huge.

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Really sorry I have only just logged on to see this and replying to posts, I will pretty much say what I just have to another poster as she lost her dad through MN too, I am really sorry for your loss too. It is a terrible experience to have to go through, I completely understand and relate to what you are saying.

The worse thing is knowing they could have done so many things at the time and our parents would still have been here, and knowing there is no justice in this world as they simply will go on with their lives having robbed my mums and your dads and we have to have the pain and grieving everyday of knowing it never should have happened, because they failed our parent in every single way and killed them!. I cannot get past that. Knowing that no matter what action is taken from here it don’t bring back mum is a horrible feeling every single day. I know and am sure it is the same with you that my mum would want me to move forward in life and that’s all we can do, but the pain is there every day and not being able to speak and see my mum hurts so much. They completely robbed mum of her life and any options she would have had at the time to live.

In terms of working for the NHS it’s hard with that point, but I will say one thing my partner said to me as hard as it was for me to hear as I have gone completely anti-nhs but which might help you though in terms of that. It isn’t everyone in the NHS that did this, there were several so called consultants involved who did this 6-7 that knew with my mum who were incompetent and negligent and failed in all ways and killed my mum, and I am sure there are a select few that were involved in this with your dad that failed him, so it was those particular nhs workers that did this, one’s that don’t deserve to be in the professions. Sorry I know you work for the nhs presently so trying to be careful with what I say, as only you can make the decision, but I have to remember people like yourself who work for them werent involved in those particular situations. Only those that were involved and did nothing are the one’s who robbed our parents lives. I hope that makes sense? In other words, if you are doing a good job in a profession you love then you are one of the persons that will make the system better, not one’s that did this. It’s a hard one, maybe try think what your dad would say.

I completely agree, it’s hard because when the death wasn’t supposed to happen at that time, how do you move past knowing that. If my mum had been told at the time and given options and then passed away it would still be traumatic but we would have had to accept it was the time. But to hide it for two years and send my mum no letters at all or check ups in that time, to let cancer manifest to a stage uncurable I can never forgive or forget as they killed my mum. Yet they walk free on this earth.

I will say one thing, you have nothing to feel guilty about so stop beating yourself up on that.

Thank you for your kind words, I really hope you can move forward too, we just have to hold them in our hearts everyday and listen to what they would say in our mind.

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Hi there

I’m new to this forum.

I completely empathise with this as I am going through a similar experience. With me I want so badly to make the complaint and for justice to be had but my grief has caused a blockage for me and it’s traumatic just thinking about writing this stuff down. Also after a certain amount of time they wont even accept a complaint. I’ve been lead to believe. I did try to contact certain people previously who have just ignored me. It’s horrendous and it really touched a nerve when you mentioned the clapping and that not all NHS workers deserved that. :nose:

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Hi I’m sorry to hear that you have experienced this in some form too. I am not sure if it depends on the hospital but I think you have 12 months to complain to them but in terms of a medical negligence claim with a solicitor 3 years from the date of death. I completely understand I feel the pain of so much grief and it won’t be an easy or short process but you have to do what you feel is right for you. I hope you can move forward and find some way of dealing with the pain whatever decision you make. Yes it’s so sad because only people who have had traumatic experiences will be thinking of that whilst others shine a light up the nhs arses and forget about the wrong doings and life changing failures nhs have made, people just do what the media tells them. Unless they see it’s happened and feel something or go through it they won’t understand.

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Thank you for replying.

Honestly so many points that you made In your first post and this one resonate.
That’s what I was thinking as at that time.you were made to feel as if you were evil if you didn’t go outside and clap. And yes I undestand that it doesn’t apply to every person that works within the NHS of course it doesn’t but that doesn’t give any consolation whatsoever when your loved one has been failed at the hands of many.NHS workers. Ultimately they are ALL meant to be there to help so it’s no consolation hearing it’s not all of them really. Just as you have said you don’t really understand the pain until.you’ve been put through it. Also for.me my loved one worked her whole life for the NHS and when she needed them to come through for her they failed her in the worse possible ways.

Yes it’s 12 months in the hospital but I think that’s a joke as you’ve just lost someone who means everything to you. How are you meant to get your head together enough to sit down and really live the trauma you have just been through and are going through. I’m going to contact my MP and see if a campaign can be started so that timescale can changed as it isn’t realistic at all. Not when the person meant your whole.world it is it. It won’t help me but hopefully someone else. I mean I contacted the hospital had my messages read and not responded to. I contacted a medical.negligence solicitor and they weren’t of much help. As you can image I was already highly distraught so that did not help.

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I completely agree, I am having the same issues they are just ignoring correspondence and the thing that haunts me every single day is knowing what they did to my mum yet they all get to go to work and carry on like nothings happened. Where is the justice in that? I have heard of people going to jail for much less. It is a ridiculous time length and there shouldn’t be any time lengths at all. Please feel free to send any links to campaigns I would be happy to sign and send around. The other message was mainly for the girl above who works for the nhs and is conflicted about working for them as she has been through medical negligence with her dad, so it was mainly to say the actions of others isn’t a reflection on her. And yes of course they all have duty and obligations and any that break those and especially with medical negligence should be punished and not be in the profession. Me and my family are struggling with this every day too because the hospital don’t even seem to care and think people will just give up but I will fight this to the very end and will never let them forget about it.

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Yes it is soul.distroying knowing that they happily continue with their work and lives and yet ours will never ever be the same.again. This is the problem. In any other circumstances people would be put into prison for what the have done to us however they seem to just get away with it. And that is because as doctors and nurse etc they are given power over people’s lives and don’t feel.as if they have to be or should be held accountable for any of their actions. Honestly the things the things ive had to witness in the hospital will.haunt me for the rest of my life and you expected not to question anything even though that’s your world right there. It’s disgusting. Bit when you try to get someone to help they all band together to cover what thru are doing. Something seriously needs to change as the are given far too much power over people’s lives. Ito when they ate doing the right thing with that power but for the ones that don’t it’s criminal.

Oh no isn’t saying anything about the lady about. I again was in a similar situation. I worked with the hospital and through trauma couldnt continue as I spent a lot of time in the hospital so couldn’t face going into there. Plus you are given an alloted time.to heal and I wasn’t ready when they were ready so had to make the decision to go. It’s must be very difficult for her and no not all.NHS staff are rubbish at their jobs at all.

Aww that would be great. I need to get the ball rolling but as I’m sure you understanding I’m having a very very difficult time.of things. When your world is taken away what do you do? But something needs to be changed there so thank you ill let you know.

100 and 10 percent keep fighting the fight. I myself need to do something as I feel some sort of justice needs to had. They can’t get away with that. Very proud of you for standing your corner.

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And no they don’t care because it doesn’t effect them. Just another day. It’s not their lives that have been changed forever. If the shoe were on the other foot it would be a different story however karma will get them eventually. You don’t get away with evil deeds scot free. Sooner or later youll pay.I get a little.peace with that but 100% keep fighting the fight too.

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Thanks for your reply, there is no justice and the thing I can’t deal with is that no matter what I do it doesn’t bring back mum now :broken_heart: yet they get to go on with their lives whilst we have to know everyday that they killed our loved ones.

I completely agree with everything you are saying. The pain and suffering they caused that will remain for ever with us destroying our families. And yes sorry in regards to the other message didn’t want you to think was saying any good about the nhs system itself completely the opposite I despise all the incompetent negligent persons we are supposed to call medical professionals yet so many fail and we are left with the life changing consequences there is no system at all. I feel sick even seeing nhs on the tv even in series or programmes I have to turn it over as I just can’t face hearing anything about them after what they have done unless it is to show what they have done and how bad they truly are.

I really hope one day you can look at pursuing against them. It is such a difficult and stressful process but I hope the anger and upset can turn into going against them for they are responsible.

I truly believe in karma too and I know it will come and hope it does soon to all those that did this to our families. It’s hard to stay strong at this time with all the pain and grief and I truly believe when you are ready you can fight too. Each day is a fight in itself that you keep going.

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It is so utterly devastating. It won’t bring them back but at least it will feel.like.their has been some.kind of justice for them even though it should never have happened in this way. The thought of these people happily living their lives as if our lived ones meant nothing angers me. There’s a lot of anger. When I lost my mum I had to watch stall laughing and joking at the side. Called for.help and was basically told we told.you we are not doing anything. I do hope these people pay and go through EXACTLY what we are having to go through…I believe they will as like I say you can’t be that evil and get away with it… They may be so called.medically trained( (minus any common.sense or compassion) and have a clinical.view but one day they will.lose the person who means the world.to. them in the worse posdible way and. let’s see how clinical.their view is then.

I’ve had to witness so many failings within the NH’s. I completely understand you not even being able to see them on the Atv is so bittersweet for me as my mum worked in the NHS so I can watch things like.call.the midwife but other shows are a no go too. I’m in a situation now where I have no choice but allow them to have access to a.family member I cate for but it gives me.tbh. Again you see the failings but it’s hardened me and not in a good way. You fid.yourself being o guard all the time.and the anxiety levels are through the roof. I avoid the hospital as much as is humanly possible. This family menbee has had to go in and again you see the non caring flippant machine like.behaviour in there. The lack of discussion and them.basically telling you they ate going to allow another family member to die and you don’t have easy say in it. I’ve managed to keep him out of the hospital.sincemail them telling me on his last visit he had 48 hours and they basically weren’t going to.do anything. So no I too have no confidence in these so called professionals.

Oh no I didn’t think that at all. I understand what you were saying to them. Please don’t think I did.

I hope the karma comes soon too. The waiting just isn’t good enough really. You think you’re being strong because you’re still going but it is all.consuming to say the least.

IThank you. I need to do it as it’s killing me.

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I can totally empathise. My mum was mid med neg claim when she died unexpectedly. I found her in bed, she had passed overnight. I have now taken over her fight & am about to discuss adding her death to the claim. She had no major illnesses the claim was a misdiagnosis that made her profoundly disabled. It seems funny that 3 months after a medical procedure not related to her claim was performed wrongly causing profound bleeding, non stop problems, the need for a hysterectomy & the use of medication for blood clots given to a woman who wasn’t mobile because of a previous misdiagnosis… her cause of death is stated as a blood clot. She had been contacting her gp daily 3 days before I found her to tell them she was having problems breathing & they ignored her! The drs & the woman who did the procedure wrongly can happily go on in their life & career while our family is ripped apart, doesn’t quite seem fair!

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It’s a horrendous place to be in.

Before my mum.went into hospital.I had been doing the same trying to seek help from.doctors and nurses and they also failed her . Again misdiagnosing treatment The doctor said the best place for her to be to get “well again” was the hospital despite our concerns because of the treatment she had received in hospital before and they succeeded in aiding to end her life. We asked for a different hospital.and they point blank refused. When I made contact to complain about these doctors and nurses and how I could.complain he messages were read and ignored Its so disgusting. I don’t know how these people.live with themselves to be honest.

Like.you say your left with your life devastated and they just crack on like nothing has happened. It is anything but fair.

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Hi both, sorry to hear about your mum too, just a constant heartbreak each day and anger, sorry for the delay I only come on here now and then I probably won’t be on here for a while as going to put my energy into everything going on in the background. It’s just another day without mum and even longer since I got to speak and see her :disappointed::broken_heart:. There is no justice in this world for what they have done to our parents, monsters!! I hate knowing that they just get to go on with their lives and go to work everyday whilst we sit there traumatised, depressed and utterly heartbroken every single day.

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Hi. You have summed it up in this message with all.you’ve said. The constant heart break not being able to speak to them. them.carrying on like nothing has happened living their lives. :flushed: Thats what people.do when they have no soul. The trauma goes on. All the very best with your fight.I hope with every ounce in my being you get justice. It won’t stop the heartache nothing will but at least youll know you got justice for her. :heart:

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Completely agree, It’s awful we all having to go through this and I really hope we can fight against what they have done to all of our loved ones, I know it won’t bring them back but like you said some sort of justice to expose what they have done, I will do everything in my power. You too, hold onto those memories and each day in your heart :heart: Thank you for replying on here, and I am so sorry you have had to go through this too.

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So sorry to hear this, it truly is disgusting how they can do this to people!, have replied below.

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Yes we must find the strength even at such a debilitating time. Like you have quite rightly said there must be justice served. Thank you so much for replying. I’ve actually come onto this site as I’ve been struggling really badly and haven’t been able to talk to anyone and have in fact felt hopeless so I really appreciate being able to speak to someone who gets it. It’s the worst possible circumstances for a conversation but I’m glad I have been able to connect with someone. I too am.deeply sorry you’re having to go through this. It truly Is an indescribable pain that I know I’ll never go away. For me everyday feels like it’s happening yesterday. Do take care of yourself . Sending love❤