Hi All,
Thinking of you all today, much love xxx
Hi All
Hope you have all got through today as well as possible.
Ann, hope your mum has settled in as good as possible.
Caroline, well done for keeping busy today and hope that the day worked as a distraction. The only time I genuinely smile is when I see a dog or cat!
Lynn, you have wished everyone well for today but this must also be a sad day for you in the circumstances.
Thought after taking flowers to the cemetery I would ignore the day as much as possible but found the fact it’s Mother’s Day has been on my mind minute by minute.
The constant sadness when I am at home means I struggle to motivate to do things and this does not seem to change from one week to another.
Xxx
Hi JayDee
It is no surprise it was on your mind all day but we are nearly through it now. Xx
I had another melt down day, just like on Christmas day when I lost the plot. There is just so much pressure - last mother’s day with my mum etc so I lost the plot with my husband instead of living life in the moment fully with my mum…and for some reason all I can think on mother’s day is how much I miss my dad. It’s all too much.
How has everyone else got on? It was always going to be a tough day but I expect we will all be relieved to see Monday. I seem to have obsessively been looking at Facebook today to see my friends with their happy mum’s doing nice things and trying to work out how many people have lost their parents so far and how many have got theirs. Why would I do that to myself?!
I know what you mean about motivation JayDee but I know that is to be expected. Grief feels like a full body work out while you can’t get off the sofa…
Take care everyone.
Ann xx
Having realised I never had a mother who thought anything of me I look at all of you and see the blessings of how lucky you all were to have such wonderful mother’s.
Count your blessings
To know you were truly loved by your mum’s is better than to have spent a lifetime of rejection and abandonment.
xxx
I would like to thank you all for being such an amazing support to me when my world was turned upside down and I wish you all the best for your future and will always remember your love and kindness but today I have taken the decision to move on as this brings me too much sadness. I have always felt the odd one out in life thanks to my mother and seeing how you all had such loving mum’s is actually tearing me apart and I can’t do it anymore.
Lots of love and so much gratitude for your kindness
Lyn
xxxx
It’s been a sad day for all of us and Lyn has a special sadness that the rest of us can’t imagine. All of you - and especially Lyn - are in my thoughts and in my prayers as I head for bed.
Love
Marigold
XXX
Aww Lyn, please do not leave us. None of us have perfect lives and this is just a day in that life.
Your mother is not worth the sacrifice of friends on here that really do care about you and your life. I would be very very sad not to hear from you again as I feel that your dad sent us to you, to be there for you now that he cannot.
You are right that many of us have been lucky to have super mum’s but many people do not. You had the most wonderful dad who adored you - take comfort in that. Don’t let the ‘glamour’ of `mother’s Day make you choose to leave us behind.
The choice is, of course, yours. I thought of you today as I wandered around Crufts with every possible dog ‘essential’ made by man! We may not have met but your support and words of wisdom have kept me going - thank you, you are a truly caring and lovely person. Your dad would be so proud.
Take care and I do hope you will stay at least a little longer.
Hugs,
Caroline xxx
Hi Lyn
You would be sadly missed if you did go. Our grief journey is what has brought us together and I am sure your dad would be happy you had made friends here.
Sending love
Ann x
Hi Lyn
I am sorry to hear this. Your support and very wise words have been amazing. I would hope, even if you take a little break from here, that you will be back as the days and weeks unfold. I am still 5 months later constantly returning here to check in with everyone and feel I am starting to get to know you all quite well.
If you do not return here then I wish you all the very best and strength and peace.
Xxx
Thanks Lynn for all the kind words and encouragement. I wish you peace of mind and comfort in the future. Tina.
Hi Lyn and everyone.
Hope you decided to stick around a bit longer?
Selfishly, I have found so much support from here and would like to offer it back as other peoples bad days coincide with my stronger ones and vice versa.
My dad always raised a glass on Friday to “Freitag Nacht” no idea why he said It in German but he did so I’m raising a (not very German) vodka and diet coke to you all from my dad. Zum Whol!
Ann xx
Hi Ann
I hope that your mum has settled into the nursing home and that this proved to be the right move. Thinking of you and your mum.
xx
Hi JayDee
It’s been just over a week now and yes, I think it was the right decision for everyone so I am so greatful my mum made it. She is well cared for and I am no longer on the brink.
How are you doing?
Ann x
Hi everyone
I had a complete meltdown last week and it all hit me, very, very hard, not just my dad’s passing but the loss of a mother too and realising I have no family left on this earth but I have to take into account that all of you have become my friends and a support network that I have needed so very much. I still need you all, so I’m so sorry for my brief “abandonment” of you. You have all been so kind to me when I have felt I had nobody to turn to and Caroline your words brought me to my knees, as I think you are so right, my dad sent you all to me to help me on this incredibly lonely and heartbreaking journey.
I cannot thank you enough and I can’t cope with this without you all. I have also succumbed to the tablets as realise I do need additional help.
Hope everyone is coping better than I am at the moment. I have gone off work sick as tried to do too much too soon and need to sort myself out.
Please accept my apologies for disappearing as I peaked at my lowest ebb since dad passed
Much love and gratitude
Lyn
xxxxx
I have a mum who is very much alive and I am so grateful that she is still here. I have always been there for her and the fact that she feels she no longer needs me is yet another bereavement which I had not fully acknowledged because I did so much for her and wanted to do so much more. This rejection has added to the grief I am going through for dad and the fact it has been chosen by mum is bewildering and just adds to the pain and devastation but I have to respect this is her choice and my brother as the driver of this. He sent me a message just this week saying I may not be my dad’s daughter and therefore I am nothing to him and my mother. I am unsure what it all means as could it be possible I am a result of something else that I was unaware of? It has hurt me immensely. My brother posted my christening certificate and said that was all I have from the family and to be honest it broke me
xxxx
Hi Lyn
I am so glad you are back. Xx
What brought us all together on here is such sadness but what can keep us together is kindness, which I have realised recently is a very powerful thing!
I am glad you have sought help. Tablets or whether it takes sounds like a sensible plan. We all need help at times. The brave bit is accepting it.
What a heart breaking situation with your mum and brother. Whatever happens, the love you felt and feel for your dad can’t be taken away so please remember that.
Just take one day at a time and be really kind to yourself. This is really cheesy but have you heard the song “the greatest love of all”? I randomly started singing it to myself the other day (a few mirrors broke…) but I felt empowered that the love my dad had given me sort of lived on if I could be kind to myself and love myself, on his behalf now. Does that make any sense?
Ann xx
Yay Lyn,
Welcome back - we have missed you x
You are doing the right thing taking time off work and getting support from the doctor.
It is a rocky road we are travelling and the bumps unseat us every now and again. That is what this group is here for - to catch us when we fall.
Never apologise to us - we understand - it is just that we care and want to help if we can.
Take care;sending much love,
Caroline xxx
Oh Lyn,
This is heartbreaking and very cruel by your brother. He sounds a despicable person who is not worthy of you. Toxic people need to be removed from our lives even if they are family.
Have you considered trying to make contact with your mum via a third party? I am not sure if this is what you want but if it is you could ask for help with this.
As for saying you may not be your dad’s daughter - what rubbish! Just ignore him and remember how much your dad loved you. Your brother sounds a very sad and bitter man so please try to treat him with the contempt he deserves.
Take care and chin up,
Caroline xxx
Hi Lyn,
It’s good to have you back - we missed our friend.
I was so sorry to read how low you have been. I simply cannot understand your mum and your brother. But don’t let them cast darkness and blackness over your heart. You and your dad are bonded together - always were, always will be. I was interested in Caroline’s suggestion about a third party acting as an intermediary. Another suggestion might be to write to your mum, tell her you’re not seeking to have any contact with her but you love her and you’ll always be there for her if she ever decides to make the approach. If nothing else it might give you the moral high-ground and knowing you’ve extended the hand of friendship might give you some sort of closure.
Don’t see taking tablets as a sign of weakness. I went on anti-depressants six months before mum died and they certainly have helped.
Feels good to go to bed knowing you’re back on board!!!
Love
Marigold
XXX
Thank you everyone for your caring and kindness, you truly are a great bunch of friends to have.
My meltdown made me realise how valued you all are to me so I promise I am staying here now!
Although very difficult to do, I am ignoring my bully of a brother as he’s not worth my energy which I have little of anyway, also I think he’s just trying to provoke a reaction which I won’t give him.
My mum knows where I am so again it’s her choice. I can’t deal with anymore heartache.
Has anyone else found the longer time goes on the worse the grief gets? I thought I was coping well but the last few weeks have really hit me hard and I feel like I am back at the start again?
God this is all so horrible and just wish I could turn the clock back.
Hope everyone is ok and let’s pray for the spring to arrive and no more snow!
Much love
Lyn
xxxxx