Have you still got your friends dog Mel? Sounds a big commitment! Can’t wait until you are a crazy cat lady. Mine is busy tracking down and eating spiders for me. Grim.
When do you finish work Lucy? Another exciting time ahead hopefully and a load of baggage left behind for you with your current job.
Seen any special birds recently Jayne? A ladybird sat on the lock of my parents house the last time I went round and wouldn’t budge. Made me smile if nothing else.
I was at a fancy event the other night having a good time (too much free champagne though so paid the price after…) and then the day after I felt so so flat. I think it is because I would usually tell my mum and dad the small details about what I am up to and even with the best intentions in the world, nobody else is ever as interested in us as our parents. Oh boy do I miss them both so much. Sounds silly but I really need to write things down here as I know you understand and will listen while I pretend to be getting on with my life to everyone else.
On the positives, there are fewer spiders in our house now. Grim watching the process of spider capture though with legs dangling out of a cats mouth. Shudder!
Just wondering if the cats will arrive while you are still dogsitting Mel? That could prove interesting!
Are you still managing to bite your tongue with your soon to be ex colleagues Lucy?
I rescued a ladybird attached to a leaf which I was about to throw in the garen waste at the weekend and, because of the conversation about ladybirds on here, I thought of my mum.
Your kitten sounds very useful for catching spiders although the method of doing so sounds revolting!! If I was in your house it would make me shriek so loud that the cat would drop the spider which would then result in even louder shrieks!
That is difficult about the event you attended Ann and then the flatness of not having your parents to tell.
Snap. There has been a lot of shrieking about spiders here… Especially watching the last leg. As in the last leg dangling out of her mouth before being sucked in like spaghetti! Bleurgh.
Hope the ladybird gave you a little smile Jayne. They are such lovely, odd little creations. Much nicer than rubbish work colleagues Lucy. Hope you are planning a dramatic exit if it hasn’t happened already?
Thanks for giving me a smile just thinking about Mel combining dogs and cats at the same time. Keep us posted Mel
Coming to the end of my three weeks with my friend’s dog. She has been great fun if a little exhausting as needs lots of walks - long walks! Being self employed I adjusted my work around her so she wouldn’t be on her own too much. I have made a couple of new friends walking her which is good. I find since losing Mum that I have become painfully shy like I was as a child so any interaction with new people can be a bit difficult for me. Meeting people dog walking is perfect as only a few minutes conversation and I can make my excuses if I feel it is too much for me.
As the dog goes I have the check for the cats and my suitability as an owner for them. I won’t have time to miss the dog before I have new furry friends arriving.
I have kitchen and bathroom spiders. The kitchen one hangs in a web above one window and I will leave there as it isn’t doing me any harm. The bathroom one was on the wall by the bath taps so I had to move it in case it dropped in the bath with me. It ran up my arm and although I don’t mind spiders there was a bit of screaming.
Oh Ann I do sympathise about the event and afterwards. When I went out Mum always wanted a blow by blow account of what everyone was wearing amongst other things. The kettle used to go on as I walked in and we would rehash the evening and what happened or should have happened.
I am looking forward to hearing you have finally left your job Lucy and hope your workmates give you a proper send off. Even if you don’t want a fuss a nice tea or something is always good fun.
Hope everyone is well and keeping warm now the weather suddenly seems to be so much chillier.
Hi All,
Sorry for the delay again, I just can’t keep up with everything at the moment!
Well I’m pleased everyone seems to be relatively ok at the moment. Although I know what you mean about telling your mum stuff Ann, it’s the being able to talk to my mum that I miss the most. And you’re right they’re the ones that are really the only ones completely interested. I just can’t believe I’m nearly at a year. It’s just unbelievable and I don’t know if anyone else does this but I keep thinking back to this time last year thinking that I really didn’t know what was going to happen in about 8 weeks time from now and if I’d known what would I have done in the last 8 weeks. I find it really unsettling to know what I know now but didn’t then if that makes sense??
Mel you’ve been busy too and I’m looking forwards to the crazy cat lady stories now! Hope you’re ok Jayne and the ladybird thing has gone crazy here! They are everywhere all in the house in the door ways! One flew in my mouth the other day - was awful! And as for your cat Ann, urgh dangling spiders legs etc!
Well the great news is I feel so much better generally since tonsils have come out. Was well worth the pain & hell. I am still shattered but I can keep going now. Worst op and best op ever!
Ohhh the job I’m still not out yet. Had a long notice period so still there. Sick of the place. Another 7.5 work days left. Then I’m done. My manager still hasn’t spoken to me about when I’m going etc so I’m taking my owed annual leave and then I’m done! Whether they’ll be aware is another thing but not my problem! So I suppose it could be dramatic as no one knows!!! To be honest I’m only interested in a small catch up with a few people as can’t stabd the majority but they work in other areas so can be avoided! I’m hoping the celebrations can start this weekend as there’s an American singer I live who’s in the UK and I want to see him. If I go it will be odd as I last went with mum, so I’d go on my own this time & that will have its own challenges. Have a two hour trip to get to the gig but I’ll see how I feel later in the week. I’ve got to work 3 evenings this week - to attend events :-(. But next weekend I see a great group of friends to really celebrate packing my job in! :-))). Got a late start tomorrow as working into the evening. Got a few days to take off as well so I’m taking what I’m owed!!!
Anyway I hope you’re all doing as ok as you can lots of love xx
Well there have been tears this afternoon as the dog has gone home. I told myself I would be fine about her going but an hour later was bawling my eyes out over my lunch. It is just coming up to the time when I would be taking her for her third walk of the day and I am missing her a lot now.
How exciting to be going to a gig this weekend Lucy. You will be fine on your own and your Mum will be with you in spirit. It does feel a wierd going on your own at first but I have now done it twice and it was fine. I got chatting to people both times and had a great time. Your manager sounds so typical, burying their head in the sand and ignoring what is going on around them. Never mind you will soon be rid!
Cat check tomorrow, wish me luck everyone. Mass cleaning tomorrow morning and eradicating all smells of dogs.
Mel, I can understand how you enjoyed the companionship of the visiting dog and even after only a few weeks you get into a routine and they are such good company. The imminent cat arrivals are perfect timing for you to look forward to. Are they dog savvy? If so, perhaps there could be a dog too once the cats have settled in?!!
You sound like you have prepared so much for the homecheck I am quite sure you will through it and can look forward to your new arrivals very soon.
You are well on your way to countdown to escaping the job Lucy. Do you go straight to your new job or have a break inbetween?
The concert sounds good. I am starting to be of the view that if there is somewhere you want to go or something you want to do, it should be done as its so easy to be too busy day to day and not do things. It will be sad to go without your mum but hopefully you will find enjoyment too.
How did the cat check go Mel? They will do you the world of good. Animals give that unconditional love that really only our parents also do.
Keep going Lucy and milk the annual leave! I took great delight in chucking a load of annual leave at my employer before I went self employed and they thought they could milk me for 3 full months. I spent most of those months planning my business while they paid me to sit at a desk looking busy.
Jayne, you are so right about seizing the day and doing what you want to do now. It’s true. The only thing good about what has happened since losing my parents is being able to see life and what is important so clearly now. Hope I keep hold of that and you do too. Get that posh perfume sprayed…The holidays booked…The concert gone too. We owe it to our parents to live and enjoy things.
I’ve been on holiday this week and overall had a good time but there was one day in particular when it just all got too much. I sobbed and sobbed. Couldn’t stop. It’s the contrast with having a good time then everything hitting you I guess. Plus the wanting to tell my mum in particular the insignificant details of life.
Going to pick up crazy cat from the cattery now for a dose of love. Wish me luck that she hasn’t disowned me…
I am now officially a crazy cat lady again. The check was postponed from earlier in the week as the lady had family problems but whizzed through it the following day. The cats arrived yesterday lunchtime and are currently in my small spare bedroom. One is fine, purring and head butting, the other very upset still with the move. Both are eating and using their trays so not much wrong. Their foster owner cried dreadfully when she left them. Brought a shopping trolley full of things for them that she said they liked. They turned their nose up at everything so most will be thrown away. Especially the blanket they dragged into the tray after using it!
Lucy this weekend is the concert isn’t it. I do hope you go and have a wonderful time. The last one I went to I met the singer afterwards and got a cd signed, a hug and kiss. He was so nice and down to earth. It really did me good, I was on a high for days after and am sure you will be too.
Ann I am sorry you had a bad day this week. It probably did you good having a good cry, it relieves tension although I find you feel as awful as you look initially afterwards.
Suppose I better see what my rascals are up to, mysterious thumps coming from their bedroom!
Will reply to the messsages Sunday but a brief ‘I’ve left my sh!!!y job!!! Hope you’re all ok and you’re feeling a bit better Ann and hope the cats are doing ok Mel! Hope you’re ok Jayne, message you Sunday x
Wit woo! You’ve left Lucy! I’m so pleased for you and this is the start of a new chapter for you. Can’t wait to hear about the great escape!
How are your new furry friends doing Mel? Looking forward to hearing how they are settling in.
Hope things are ok with you Jayne?
I’m still miserable and feeling sorry for myself. At least I know this roller coaster goes up and down though now so I’m just clinging on until I feel a bit brighter.
Love you you all and hope you are celebrating tonight Lucy!
Glad to hear you’ve got the cats Mel, seemed a long time coming and now I bet you feel like you’ve had them for ages! How is the shy one doing now?
Sorry to hear you’ve had some bad days Ann, I think we all have them and it’s natural but I just still sometimes feel like nothings really happened or I’m stuck back in December last year and can’t really move forwards as moving forwards means leaving mum behind and mentally I can’t do that. I think a part of me will always be stuck on that day no matter want, but I wouldn’t want it any other way as odd as that sounds. It’s so tough at times, I’m feeling so better and I just wish Mum could see how much better I am feeling after the tonsils coming out etc!
Hope you’re doing ok too Jayne?
Well I didn’t make it to the concert as I’d worked the night before and night after and fell asleep on the sofa at 8.30pm that night and a few colleagues said they thought I’d be so tired I might be ill which I kind of new was correct as it was a 2.5 hour journey each way. Turns out the roads I’d have gone to get there ended up blocked by an accident so maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Hopefully he’ll come back next year and I can go then when not as exhausted.
I sat here fuming knowing I was missing it!! But was so tired at the same time!
Well I’ve left thank god for that! I’ve had awful journeys into work the past two weeks and then Monday and Tuesday this week were the worst for over a year with an hour journey taking me 2.5 hours both days. I then had Wednesday off and popped out shopping ended up with a terrible headache which made me sick Weds night. Was really awful so I am very pleased I won’t have that kind of travel anymore making me ill. My boss wouldn’t contribute to my leaving gift - made me die with laughter! Then says ‘it’s been lovely working with you’ haha! Two faced or what! I’ve left a leaving gift anyway - my feedback! Not that they’ll do anything - as HR ignored me for 3 weeks I chased them up this week saying ‘I’m sure if someone from HR had read my feedback you’d have been in touch by now to discuss it’!! I’m not being ignored by them!! Went out with a few people from work on my last day and then I went out last night with some friends, so it’s been a nice few days. Now got the week off although meeting two colleagues for lunch tomo as didn’t get to see them before I left so that’ll be nice. I’m going to spend one day doing my photography as I love landscape photography so plan to go to the coats and capture different places at different times from sunrise to sunset I hope. It’ll be tiring but hopefully worth it!
Did you go away Ann abroad for your holiday or stay in the UK?
How are we all feeling about the next few weeks now? I really struggled in a card shop the other day trying to find cards for my best friend and Dad and had to walk out as they all said - ‘the most wonderful time of the year that we spend with family etc etc’. Then last week I tried again and managed to get those two cards and they were much better cards without all that crap in!! Haha! But they were just perfect for them. Saw my friend last week and as we were eating our dinner in a pub an old man collapsed infront of us. It was awful but we got an ambulance and stayed with him and off he went. I do hope he was ok. We all thought he was dying as he took a big breath. The pub staff were wonderful as they gave us a free main course in the end for helping.
Well I hope you’re snuggled up with your cats Mel,
Much love xx
Hurrah Lucy, you have left and it sounds as if it all went off OK. I did laugh about your two-faced boss wishing you well despite not contributing to your present. Typical behaviour, as if you would want anything they had had a part in. Well done getting HR on the case. A small leaving do is good I think. No need for false smiles at people you didn’t like much and nice to keep in touch with the decent ones.
What a shame about the concert but if you were very tired it wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun. Enjoy your photography tomorrow, lovely idea to do dawn to dusk at the coast.
The cats have been with me just over a week now and have settled down well. The nervous one is about 24 hours behind the other in braveness and two days ago I finally persuaded him that the kitchen is where food is served not the spare bedroom. The person who fostered them is being a bit of a pain, phoned me crying and wanting them back. I went to see her yesterday to thank her for looking after them and she started up again saying my house wasn’t suitable for them. I reminded her that I had gone through a house check with the main person locally and that they are very happy with me and my house. Just need to sign some paperwork and then they are really mine.
Agree about it being a difficult time coming up. The first year I didn’t know whether to send cards and did as wanted to keep in touch with Mum’s friends. I don’t look for special ones for anyone, I just go the hospice shop that helped Mum and buy from there. I know a lot of people don’t do cards anymore and send greetings by email but Mum’s friends are not computer literate. Also it would feel very rude not to keep in contact with them as they were so kind to Mum and me.
The cats have been asleep most of the day and are now in playing mode. Terrible thumps coming from upstairs!
Hi Mel and All!
Glad you are doing ok and thanks for the hurrah message!
OMG I can’t believe the person about the cats! That’s terrible! Not what you need at all. There’s always one but yes stand your ground, I’m sure you will!
That’s a nice idea about the cards from the hospice. I’m sure I’ll send some but I obviously didn’t last year but I will see how I get on. May visit London this week on my week off so may get some plain ones there. I’m sure I’m bloeing it up into something far worse than it should be but I can’t help it it’s driving me mad! But like the ashes all over again! I never realised how my mums friends would be so supportive. It’s lovely really.
Well my boy (the cat!) has taken himself to bed! Opened the lounge door and trotted off upstairs & no doubt he’ll be snoring his head off on my bed! He’s grumpy because I won’t let him outside tonight but with the fireworks he’s staying in! Although he got caught out last year and was outside when they went off and he comes back an hour later like nothings happened!
Anyway I hope the thumps aren’t anything to untoward! Xx
As Lucy said Mel, stand your ground with the other crazier cat lady. It’s horrid when something puts a downer on even the good things!
Are you talking about blowing Christmas out of proportion Lucy? If so, I’ll join that club with you. I’m dreading it. Last year I was grieving my dad and getting frustrated with the pressure my mum was putting on making it the perfect Christmas so I lost the plot. This year I just want to hibernate and wake up in January.
It was my birthday last week which was another ordeal. Got through it by going to a theme park with my son to just escape from it all. It worked but there were tears too. I don’t even notice then now. Just walk on and push the mascara back up my face…nice!
It’s great that our mum’s friends are there. Now that I’ve got through the holiday and birthday, I’m going to put more effort into talking to them all again. Get help wherever it is offered is my new motto.
Only just back on here as I have been laid up with a heavy cold/flu. Absolutely shocking, could hardly walk to the shops three minutes away for milk and puffed and panted all the way back. Thankfully starting to feel better now, no time for sickness with two demanding furry faces looking at me for food.
Ann, I am sorry you had a sad birthday. The theme park was a good idea, something fun for your son. I find not wearing any makeup saves me the panda eye syndrome.
I have a horrible day coming up tomorrow. My Mum would have been 95 and I keep thinking of her 90th birthday and the party we had. It was Mum’s idea as she wanted to have a big family get together. It was so lovely and the last time the family all got together.
Five years on and what a difference tomorrow will be. I cannot face going to where Mum’s ashes are interred, I haven’t been back since the service. I am going to the coast and having a walk on the beach. I will try hard not to cry and just remember the party and how happy Mum was that day.
These sad anniversaries make me miss Mum so much. She loved cats as I do and would have adored my two. They both will now come to me when I put a hand down so can be considered to have bonded with me. Thank goodness I have them as they do help when I am feeling very low.
Sorry to be a bit depressing but I know you all understand and will be rooting for me tomorrow.
Mel, you are nearly through the day now, hope you have been as ok as possible. Did you manage to get to the coast? I imagine by now you may be back home with your lovely rascels. They sound as if they are getting a little more brave, they will be curling up on your knee with you in no time.
Have you started your new job yet Lucy? The leaving gift feedback in your old job amused me! Hope your new job is a little less travel for you. I did not send my dad a card last year and cant imagine getting one without both my parents names on so no clearer this year what to do. I am now past the one year anniversary and totally get when you say its like nothing has happened and yet everything has and you are still stuck a year ago. I go round in those circles too.
Ann, birthday wishes, sorry I am rather late with that. Are you feeling any brighter yet? Good you went to a theme park, I think we have to make plans and do things even if dont feel like it as otherwise I find there is a tendancy to just be in some sort of waiting zone for everything to get back to how it was.
Hope everyone’s doing ok this weekend?
How did you do this week Mel? Let us know how you got on, like Jayne said I hope you coped as ok as you could. Everyone talks about the first anniversary but once you’re past that is there then a lot of emphasis (by others not yourself) on the 5 year anniversaries? Every anniversary must be difficult. But you give me some hope and strength Mel that I can get through everything and still be coping when I get to the 5 years. I hope you’re feeling better now too.
Sorry to hear you struggled Ann, it’s like the ‘spevial’ Occasions have lost all the specialness they once held especially with the loss of both parents. I hope the theme park helped a bit.
I’m so pleased you get what I mean Jayne about feeling like I’m still there the day mum died yet so much had happened and I kind of think am I really here right now! It’s really odd to describe to others.
I hope everyone’s crazy cats are ok!
Well I really cannot believe in less than a month it’ll be a year since I lost mum. Where on earth has the time gone but more to the point how the hell am I still here! I could never imagine being here a day after mum passed let alone a year later. I don’t know how I feel really just weird about it all.
Started the new job!!! All good such a better work/life balance already. Only one day gave I been up before 6am, the rest of the days I’ve not had to get up until 7/7.30. The people have been so helpful so far, such a difference to my first few days in the last job. And my manager has already said well done a couple of times. I don’t want constant praise but for her to say that already it’s been really nice. There are some challenges that come with the job but that’s fine and gives me something to get my teeth into. I can’t believe the difference with less travel and working from home has been lovely. Friday was very stressful and whilst out I walked through a shop as I was delivering some items o sprayed a perfume on me and the assistant pounced on me, ‘can I help you’, well if looks could kill she’d have been down there and then!!! I felt like turning around and snapping her head off!!! As I say I was very stressed Friday morning as I was dealing with lots of calls all at once and I felt like shouting out to this poor woman ‘well if you can tell me which b!!!dy perfume I like, then go for it’!! Honestly I know you’ll all be laughing now! But I do find people so annoying so there’s no patience left at all!! Poor woman! Other than being stressed that morning the job has seriously been lovely and I’m not embarrassed to have taken a step back, it suits me much better.
Well I have a big black fur ball snoring his head off on my lap at the moment bless him! When I say big he’s an 8kg cat! So he’s rather a big boy! Doesn’t have a nasty bone in him thankfully.
Oh yes Lucy I did laugh about you and the perfume lady. I know they probably are supposed to approach customers within so many seconds but it is very annoying. The new job sounds so much better for you, not having to go out so early in the morning in the winter has to be good. It is also good when managers recognise people’s efforts and say something. The occasional well done never comes amiss.
The seaside was lovely on Wednesday, lots of sunshine and not too cold. I am still recovering from the cold/flu thing so didn’t walk far but it was enjoyable. I know you are not supposed to take stones from beaches but I picked one small one up. I will keep it at home for a bit then try and pluck up the courage to visit Mum’s ashes and take it there.
One of my cats will now sit on my lap. When I come home from work she is waiting for me. As soon as I sit down she comes to me and climbs up me for a cuddle. It has made such a difference to me having them although they scream for breakfast from very early in the morning. The only drawback is the litter trays, I will be very happy when they can go in the garden. Life as a crazy cat lady is good though.
