You are very fortunate to have their voices to listen to, even though it is so painful now…I can only wish, and I can only remember…Some memories are just too painful yet and I hope that “time” will let us view them more gently…Pat, your post brought a tear to my eye. It would be hard to listen - impossible not to cry - so bittersweet…my heart goes out to you…and I’d love to be an old, tarnished link in that chain…XX
Heather 
we have all lost so much but I also feel we have gained, people that understand, don’t judge and have gained a greater understanding of human nature, we are all strangers but have connected with human beings who are willing to hold out the hand of friendship support and understanding. Tarnished lol aren’t we all, maybe kinked lol but nether the less linked. X
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Silverlady and Heather Diane, thank you so much for your kind words. So inspirational and yes we have gained so much. I have found faith in human nature again. There are kind people out there.
Now I must find the strength to listen to Brian because I am lucky to still be able to hear him in the house. His voice is strong when he could hardly speak in the end.
So, on he goes again and I will sing along with him this time and might even dance. Hope the next door neighbours are out !!!
Love Pat xxx
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let rip Pat lol x
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Pat you are not a coward, you are a very brave lady, who gives me hope. x x x
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Hello Mary, I think in our own way we are all trying to give support to each other. Some things we say might help, other things won’t.
ur whole lives with one person. I am, like everyone else finding it unbearably hard at times but do sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I had spent all my life virtually with that one man.
We must all hang onto that glimmer of hope. One day we will be able to accept our loss and learn to live with it.
I don’t mix in groups as I don’t see the point. All the people in the world are not going to make it any easier in fact when I do attempt to be with a group of people I have so far had to get away from them fast as it brings home that I am on my own and it upsets me. I am not particularly lonely but trying hard to accept my life as it is now.
You know Mary I pray for HOPE everyday.
Love
Pat xxx
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Had my weekly dance round the kitchen (this time the dog joined in) I feel so much better the song of choice today was Queen I want to break free"…this song was aimed at my grief, neighbours think I’m mad, dog may hide, me I don’t give a poop!
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Thank you all so much. My darling died in January this year. I have to say that it helps me to realise he isn’t here anymore. Someone else said similar.
When I was first alone I played all the songs that made me cry so much I thought it was helping but when I mentioned it to one of our sons He said mum when you feel sad play happy songs so I do try now & remember the happy songs he played that actually got on my nerves & it does make me smile.
I went to another son for dinner yesterday & they were playing all sorts of strange stuff well I thought it was can’t name any but it was a lovely happy atmosphere & I must admit I enjoyed it . They explained just play loud happy stuff without too much sentiment & it takes your mind of stuff.
So no more Celine Dion & Whitney Houston for me !!!just loud happy music.
Thank you all once again. Take care all x
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Hi All
I am really beginning to feel better now. We have no choice & Silverlady you have helped so many of especially me. I know my husband wouldn’t want me to be sad he was always having a laugh & singing & dancing when we went out I had a wonderful 37 years with him so must start trying to carry on & I am sure I can with the help of all of you.
This is my second post this evening I am feeling so much better. Must keep going !!!
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Unhappy thank you for your lovely words, like you I have good days and bad but I whack on music, his music my music any music it helps to stop the deafening silence but it also brings back so many good memories, when the sadness comes along I try to counteract with a good/funny memory. It helps. Keep on doing what you’re doing, my hubby passed mid March and the path we have to tread has lots of potholes n puddles but I’m learning to jump the suckers . Take care x
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Hi Silverlady
Are you that cos of the record? That had a special meaning to me. Music does actually speak louder than words "Candy Staton " I will be playing music tomorrow loud & happy
Sleep well x
Hi Silverlady I am getting so much strength from you I am probably older than you but what does it matter we are all broken hearted & if we can help each other age is just a number . Can’t wait until morning to put my music on !!! Lots of love to you silver lady & all of you that are following . We WILL survive reminds me of a certain song not to be taken literally but WE WILL x
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Your all right, music does help. I love to dance and exercise and putting on a good fast beat and jumping around does make me feel better. It has been a while coming I must admit, couldn’t do it in the first months. Still struggling listening to Brian singing but getting there. I actually found an old cassette of him on stage. Not brilliant but can at least hear him belting out his numbers and even doing my exercises to him. I try to sing along but I sound terrible as I’m always near to tears.
My dogs take themselves off to bed somewhere in the house, while Mum goes daft. When I do Yoga however my little dog insists on sitting on top of me and makes me laugh in the end. What a tonic.
Pat
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How lovely to hear Brian’s voice you are lucky but I can understand how you feel.Anyway keep up the dancing !!, I need to do that good exercise eh ? Take care
Evening ladies, today things got too much, needed to shut out nagging doubts and other people so I popped in headphones (note to self need to get bigger ones that people can see from a distance) and started to listen to a few tunes, this in term started silent singing, this in turn ended up with chair dancing, safe to say people either thought I was very distressed or having a fit, either way the music pulled me round! Pat like you I am now considered a chair for my dog, she takes every opportunity to sit on me, strangely enough she likes to sit in my hubbies wardrobe ( she never met him, at work she’s goes down to his office and sits) and has taken to licking my head, so I am not a pretty site with stuck up hair, moving my mouth silently and doing arse exercises on my chair ,glamorous or what! Unhappy I’m 53 ( this is the part you say ooooh a mere babe in arms…please lol
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Song of the day for me, listen to the words:
Michael Jackson ,
You are not alone
This song has special meaning for me I played it for my Grandad when he was dying xxx
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New song sent to me today sums it up really
Jealous Of The Angels by Donna Taggart
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Hi silver lady lovely song Michael Jackson " you are not alone" I wish I had spoken or sang more to my darling when he was dying but I didn’t want to believe he wa going to leave me so. I couldn’t find the words I just held his hand & told him “I am here” do you think that was enough ?
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Unhappy that is more than enough by simply being there, touching him and talking to him would have made him feel safe and loved.
When my husband was dying I saw the power of love and touch, my hubby was asleep but was restless tossing and turning, our son simply went to him stroked his forehead without saying a word my hubby turned his head into his hand sighed and became still. A simple touch made him feel safe and gave comfort. I am sure that your husband would have felt the same. Xx
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This could be me speaking…If I knew then what I know now I would do things differently. But I didn’t know, and I did what I felt was best, and acted the only way I could. I talked a bit, just nonsense about fishing and the cats, but I don’t think he really heard the words…and other than “I love you” and “soon my darling, you’ll be free”, nothing else mattered. I touched him constantly . I am sure that he knew I was with him, as your darling knew you were…Yes I think it was enough…