Thank you
I’m still in utter disbelief I’m struggling terribly. Absolutely grief stricken. I’ve referred myself to counselling and I’m looking for a medium. I need to hear from my son
Hi, im so sorry to hear you’re struggling so much, it’s so hard to come to terms with whats happened to your son, it was so sudden too. I have to say I tried counselling after a few months but was too early, all I did was cry and repeat same thing over and over but hopefully it will bring you some relief. Keep visiting the forum to ‘chat’,. I 'm not sure where you live but there are some areas in UK that have organised walks so you could be with others who truly understand what youre going through.
Hi
Sorry for your loss. My daughter was 46 when she took her on life last September, it was out of the blue. She had mental health issues for years and was a recovering alchoholic.
We were not close due to her drinking, she distanced herself away from us.
The thing that hurts so much is the attitude of other people, they just ignore me, my friends dont get in touch all because they dont know what to say! How about Hi, are you ok? So sad
Sending hugs
I had to get some diazepam I’m an absolute wreck. We have to go to the funeral directors tomorrow
I’m still in utter shock and in disbelief that I will never see him again my beautiful boy. I am heartbroken
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s heartbreaking and sad. May the lord God give you strength to go through each day.
Hi Lisa, thank you for reaching out. Indeed it’s cruel to have to go through this pain. I’m so pleased I found this group where we can share our grief. Before I joined I felt I was alone and kept saying to myself I’m the only sad woman on earth. Now I know I’m not alone. May the lord comfort everyone on this group.
Hello I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s the worst thing to lose a child. Life feels empty . Waking up and feeling helpless and heartbroken. The loss is so draining and doesn’t live any energy in the body.
I’m so sorry for the passing of your young son. 30 years is when all the future is getting brighter.
I lost my beautiful daughter jan this year and she was 30 years. She was about to go to work in the morning when she suddenly didn’t feel well she told me on phone she was struggling to breathe and gone in a few minutes. I’m still waiting for postmortem results.,I’m heartbroken and numb. I feel helpless and lost as she was my only child and still living at home. She was due to graduate for her phd in child educational psychologist in July. Life is empty and difficult for me without her.
I feel everyone’s pain, lost our son in august 23 aged 27, sudden arrhythmia.
Coroner took 16 months to reach this result. That is an area that needs desperate improvement on the amount of time they take. So slow.
Had a great counsellor for almost a year.
I feel im still on my journey but can be comfortable with what I know is okay and my boundaries. Cope and love to talk about my lovely favourite youngest son to people and I feel he is always with me in my heart.
No such thing as god which I did believe before but not now.
You can’t rush grief and tomorrow isn’t promised so be the best you can and be kind to yourselves and don’t worry about others feelings, just do you!
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. A sixteen months wait is far too long. Was there an inquest as well? My son died at the end of November and after inconclusive PM results, we were told there would be additional tests, the results of which would be available in mid Feb and Mid March. We still haven’t had the results. My husband phoned the coroners office recently and was told we would hear within 2 weeks, but that hasn’t happened either. I wonder if that is just what they say to fob people off? I’ve heard there is a backlog following the covid pandemic.
I agree! Something needs to be done with the waiting time. We are a year in May and in so much pain. I couldn’t get out of bed yesterday as my head is in trauma. Why does this happen when our. Children are fit and healthy. No sense in this. I’m so sorry we are here xx
Thank you, yes the PM was inconclusive so more tests which just went on and on and on. My husband was always the one calling them for answers. Tbh I just tried to get on day to day as best I could as it wouldn’t change anything.
The waiting is torture for families who can’t try and start to move forwards, dont like the phrase move on, too cold.
Feel I am moving forwards with Ash in my life. I am lucky to have had him in my life for 27 years and be a happy loving family. Was proud of him buying his own house and getting engaged and a great job.
Feel privileged.
I always say to myself he wouldn’t want me to be sad all the time as we were silly buddies together. I love my memories and feel close to him.
I am truly sorry you lost your wonderful son and the waiting is a stressful part of the journey and I just don’t think the coroners office realise.
Be strong and keep your memories in your heart, look at photos and remember.
It is an honour to have been these young men’s Mums.
There is no answer we are we are here sadly but we can help each other with our thoughts and experiences.
I don’t know if anything can be done to speed up the process.
You will have days where you wont want to get up and that’s fine. Your journey is unique to you and all you can do is an hour at a time and a day and then maybe back to minute by minute again.
I have learnt you can’t rush grief and just have to go with it at whatever pace it takes. Be kind to yourself. I still watch a lot of trash tv, cant listen to music radio but have talk radio stations on all the time. It helped me massively. When I did venture to food shop which was a long time I had to wear headphones to not hear the music. Now I pick supermarket’s without music.
I saw a man the other day who was the spit of my son, bald head and beard (it’s a common look) and I wanted to hug him, funny cos I didn’t know him but just wanted the physical presence.
Take your own time and be kind to yourself, you don’t need to explain to anyone.
We waited 16 weeks to hear from the coroner’s office but in fairness to them, they couldn’t tell us anything until they had the results back from the labs at the hospital where they were doing the further testing. Until they had everything from every department a conclusion couldn’t be given.
Waiting is hard as it’s something else you know is coming and you can’t deal with that emotion until it comes.
The whole series of departments involved take far too long. 16 months for us.
Dont know if it will ever improve sadly.
The waiting is hard, I agree.
Once we had the cause it’s started a new wait, as I’ve complained to the hospital and an investigation is now taking place.
I so hope you can get some answers. X
So unfair to add to the grief, hope you don’t have to wait too much longer. Be strong.
Thank you ladies.
It was my choice to pursue an answer, I could have chosen to accept his cause of death without question, but I can’t. I have to continue on and see if they did miss a diagnosis. I owe it to my son. Even though he’s not here anymore I feel I have to fight on.