This forum, even in this short time, has been a great help.
Thank you 
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Good morning friends ,having a bit of meltdown today,just came on out of the blue,started crying for her and calling her name to come back to me ,show me a sign that she is ok.I hate being like this without her.Trying to hold on but it is so hard.Somebody please tell what the point is,my life is nothing without her.I have had 16 months of this torture and it has drained me of everything.Go to bed alone ,eat alone,get up alone ,always alone.I have photos of her smiling beautiful face all around the bungalow which was our home.I still have her car and drive it when I can and I have my German sports car which she enabled me to buy last year ,oh how I wish she could see it and be out in it with me.I have another birthday soon ,my second without her and then there is all the special days to come that we used to share.There is no more happiness,no joy,only sadness and pain and grief for me and many of you as well.We the ones left behind have to carry this burden until we are called. Much love to all of you Michael xx
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Big hello to David,Angie,John ,Annie and so many more of you who share your feelings on here. Michael xx
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Morning @Mickeyboy31. Iām so sorry for your loss. The way you are feeling at the moment is truely the worst feeling ever. Itās disbelief and sheer despair at never seeing our loved one again. The feeling that thereās no way out. Iāve been there many years times since I lost my husband almost 10 weeks ago. Itās unbearable. You just feel like you want to end it there and then. I was married for 37 years. I have 3 wonderful children and 10 grandchildren but there is the biggest gap in my life that will never be filled. I am more stable than I was in the first few weeks but still have complete meltdowns BUT they are fewer and farther between. I hope your pain eases soon, my friend. Keep posting and reading on here. There is always someone here for you x Jean.
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This is what Iām struggling with at the moment.
My wife only passed away just under two weeks ago so I know everything is still raw but the loneliness Iām feeling is horrendous.
All we ever wanted was our own company.
Now Iām at home alone.
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Hello @Syncrog60. Iām so very sorry for your loss. You are in the very early stages and it will still be so raw. I remember very little about the first 2 or3 weeks afterwards. I just dragged myself through every day doing nothing except looking after my cats. You are on here looking for support and managing to string sentences together so you are functioning and it will ease over time. Keep posting and reading on here, itās a fabulous site. I have been out with friends for coffee and lunch and been to friends for dinner. I even went and did an Escape Room with my family last Saturday. In the early days I wouldnāt leave the house as I dreaded coming home. I hope you have a support network around you and thereās always someone on here. Big cuddle to you. Jean x.
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God bless everyone thatās going through this nightmare. Itās the most debilitating feeling ever. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago. We too liked each otherās company and we didnāt socialise much. Maybe that was a mistake but it didnāt seem so at the time. I have my family who have been very supportive but itās just not the same. Iām retired and my days seem endless. People encourage me to do stuff like join this and join that, go for walks, keep yourself occupied. I try but everything I attempt makes me tearful and excruciatingly lonely. Thank you for listening and all the best to everyone going through this journey. Itās nice to know you have people walking with you. 
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Hello @Wyn1. Itās alright people telling you to do this and do that but, unless theyāve lost the love of their life, excuse me but what the hell do they know? I know people are only trying to help but the best help they could give is to let you do what you like when you like! You are in the very early days like me and the pain is excruciating. Nothing is the same without them. Thereās no joy, no pleasure, nothing to look forward to. Everything is just bleak. I really hope your pain eases soon, Wyn. Do things as you feel like doing them. Keep posting and reading on here. We are all in the same boat. Big cuddle to you. Jean x.
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In recent years my main hobby has been cycling.
Family suggested going out on my bike.
So I did yesterday.
All it did was remind me that I didnāt need to rush back.
My wife wouldnāt be there for us to do our usual day to day things.
Actually made me feel worse.
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Yes I remember dropping my sister off at the station one evening. I used to love getting home afterwards, planning dinner and what weād do or watch that evening. That particular evening I couldnāt have cared less whether I got home or not. I felt more and more anxious as I got closer to home and went to pieces when I walked in because he wasnāt there. Itās horrendous I know. I didnāt leave the house for a few weeks after that. It turned into some sort of Phobia but I made myself in the end and now itās not too bad. Not easy but a bit better x.
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thank you Jean for those lovely kind words. Michael x
Its ok people telling you to get on with your life like go out with friends join a club or go for walks but at the end of the day i still have to go back to a empty home where i am on my own and the pain starts all over again
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They mean well but that doesnāt help you. I understand completely.
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@Mickeyboy31 I know exactly how you feel. Everything done on your own. Itās horrendous. I canāt find any point to this so called life now without the one I love. Wishing you peace.
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Hi my friend thank you for the message.I also wish you peace. Michael x
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Hi yes exactly ,you have to deal with this in your own way. Michael x
So sorry you are having a bad day @Mickeyboy31
Once it starts it can be so difficult to stop canāt it?
Sorry not to be any help but wanted to send love xxx
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Thank you so much you are very kind. Much love to you too. Michael x
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Iām new to this site. I lost my wife on 28th October 2022. My son and daughter-in-law moved in with me before she died. We are all grieving but differently. They are expecting their first son and our third grandson any day. I am trying to make this as positive an experience as possible and have created a nursery and reorganised the house. I am trying to make space for their grief along with my own. However the sadness that my wife is not here is overwhelming. I am in bed shedding tears as I type. The physical pain is intense. Reading the posts here has helped me accept this awful pain but does not reduce it. I hope I can cope when my grandson arrives.
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Hi Mike75
I lost my Mike on 30th Oct so similar time. Im heartbroken. My Son has moved in with me but he doesnāt understand. No one does unless they have been through this. Its a nightmare.
Hugs to you x
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