My darling son.....I miss him so so much

9 weeks ago I lost my youngest son aged 22 suddenly. Mine, my husband’s & his brother lives have changed beyond repair. Our hearts are broken and I feel such incredible sadness & indescribable pain. I constantly cry for him & have no idea how to cope

3 Likes

Hello, I am so sorry about the tragic loss of your son. The pain you are feeling must truly be indescribable. I am glad you have found this site, because many people find that talking about their grief helps them, and hopefully you will also get some help here.

Have you considered counselling, or is that too early for you at the moment? If you do think you might benefit from counselling, Sue Ryder (online) and Cruse (telephone) provide a free service.

1 Like

Thank you for your kind supportive words. I will definitely consider counselling for myself & potentially as a family too.
Best wishes

Hello Rachel. Thank you for commenting on the forum. I’m sure you will find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
Abdullah is quite correct, Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.
You will find Cruse Bereavement offers a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk, http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services.
You may also want to contact The Compassionate Friends. They are for families who have lost a child of any age. 0345 123 2304 https://www.tcf.org.uk/.
I hope you will continue to post on the community, and please know we are always here for you.
Take care,
Audrey
Online Community team

1 Like

Rkeane 9 weeks is no time at all. Be gentle with your self and just try to breathe in and out. Sometimes that is all you can do and some days that in itself feels like an achievement. Lost my only daughter 20 months ago. Feel somewhat of what you are going through. Take care x

1 Like

Thank you so much

I’m so sorry for your loss, how old was your precious daughter?
It’s all so raw, confusing & devastating. A loss you can never truly recover from. My heart is broken along with every one else’s. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I do find some comfort knowing others understand & don’t feel so alone. Those in our lives who offer us support are amazing however can never really understand the depth of our despair.
Love & strength to all going this horrendous journey.
Rach

1 Like

She was 33 and the light of my life. She had everything to live for and life is so very difficult without her. The horror of every day and night is knowing the permanency of this new way of existing. However we don’t get a choice in any of it. Almost 2 years on and I can’t bear even to look at a photo of her. I can only consciously breathe every minute of every day. Strange how complete strangers can bring a bit of comfort. Take good care of yourself and you are in my thoughts xx

I totally understand you. It’s not something we can ever fully come back from & our hearts will never ever recover. I think we can only try & help each other the best we can to try & find a little peace & vent our feelings on this forum when we need to.
My love & thoughts are with you & everyone suffering from this horrendous pain
Rach x

1 Like

Sorry for your loss. Hope one day you can feel a bit better…xxx

Thank you for your kind words. It’s just so unfair as I already know what it feels like to yearn for a loved one. When I was 5 my beloved mum took her life then 4 months later my granny did too. I have grieved almost all my life & now I will grieve for the rest of my life on another level. My precious son was the light of my life along with his brother, who is equally precious to me & it breaks my heart that he is suffering & as his mum I can’t make it better for him :broken_heart: sending love and strength xx

1 Like

Dear rach25 and everyone
It’s so hard to watch our living children suffer the pain, my dearest daughter is 25 she has had ocd for many years doing rituals to keep her sister safe ( she had cerebral palsy) When she passed I thought she would stop but it got worse, she wanted to keep us all safe, when she went to uni she had weekly counselling which worked well and she controlled her ocd , but now ten years after her sister died her worst nightmare happened her (brother, team mate and best friend ) Has passed we can’t believe it, she was doing so well living in London enjoying her life now I have to not only grieve another of my children gone I have to watch my dear girl so broken, and try and help her move on with her life the only one left of three children she is so scared of so much and I can’t reassure her as life has no rules lightening does strike twice ( or more), I find this site a comfort I wonder is there anything similar for young people who have been bereaved to help our other children, I would like to attend a support group but not sure if there are any and do they operate during Covid ? All the best to you all sending love and strength to get us through the day x

I don’t know what to say to you. Your so brave…take care. Beth xx

Dear Jayne
It’s just so awful because as you say we aren’t even in a position to reassure our children/young adults that we/they are safe. They sadly know all to well how fragile life can be & we simply cannot protect them as much as we want to. I try so hard to be strong for my son but obviously this isn’t always possible. I panic at him going off to his room or when he wants to be by himself but I have to remember he has to be allowed to grieve in his own way. We try & talk to him about his feelings but he doesn’t want to, again we have to respect that too.
I’m so desperately sad for your daughter who has suffered so much (all of you).
My heart goes out to you all & everyone on this forum xx

Dear rach and all
It’s so so hard for us all…But we have to believe our children Are stronger than we think I’ve been surprised by my sons friends who have told me so much about Matt ( my gorgeous boy) who had opened up to them about his sister ( Megan ) that passed I hadn’t realised how much he’d told them all about his feelings his sister. For me ( sorry I have conflicting feelings sometimes the feelings for my daughter and son are becoming mixed up , I’ve been living with child grief for so long , it’s just got Unbelievable worse ) I often find it easier to open up to friends rather then family (as I don’t feel like I’m putting or passing my sadness on) it’s important to have our private times to cry and sob without feeling like we’re putting on anyone or in your sons case ( like my daughter) adding to you and your husbands pain It’s so very hard for us all I really wish none of us were on this site it’s bloody awful , in June I wanted to die a life without my son was unthinkable I still feel so incredibly sad all the time I can’t bear to look at his pictures orEnter his room But someone said to me ‘you must keep going Because your daughter is your dining light ‘ as your son is yours , we are still parents we are still needed ( even more ) we must be strong for them take care xxxx

1 Like

Thank you for your support. Like you June 2020 will be etched in my mind as the most devastating time of my life…losing my precious darling boy :broken_heart:
Night all, may tomorrow be bearable as can be for us all :heart: xx

1 Like

Deep sympathy to you. I lost my son 6 weeks ago suddenly aged 37. I still can’t believe it’s real. I can’t stop crying for long and feel numb and lost. How will I ever enjoy life again in this state of shock and despair? My life seems to be on hold until I can fully accept it.

1 Like

Hi , So sorry to hear that I’m not sure we will ever truly accept it my son died in June suddenly 2 weeks before his 24 th birthday I just can’t get my head round it I do normal things then it just hits me like a brick I’m having terrible flash backs and panic attacks we’re not meant to out live our children I believe it’s the worst pain ever, I lost my daughter ten years ago she had cerebral palsy and I found her dead in her bed it’s been a long road and just as I thought we were all moving on in some sort of way this happened it’s unbearable, I do find some comfort on this site talking to others who understand our intense pain and I hope you will find it a small comfort too x

3 Likes

How awful for you to lose two beloved children. I understand the pain you must be feeling. Yes we have to be strong but it’s so hard. Life seems so empty now. Our only child was at its heart.
Thank you for your words. Sending comfort to you. x

Hi. I feel the same the pain is terrible. I think of my son all day every day, lockdown didn’t help too…
I hope you find encouragement on this site.
Beth. Xx

1 Like