Love to you all so hard to live without our children so very very hard xx
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I lost my son at the beginning of June . I understand how you feel , at times the pain takes my breath away . I miss him so much at times it’s unbearable. I have him in my head telling me to “behave and get on with my life “ but it is so very hard . I am having more good periods than I did but I’ve a long way to go . I still sob everyday . I hope you are all doing as best as you can and I wish you and your family well .
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Thank you so much…
I can’t let myself believe I’ll never speak with my son, or see him again.
I’m lost lonely and broken.
I trust you will feel better soon.
Beth. Xx
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I’m the same , it suddenly hits me and it’s like a knife in my heart . I have other children which keeps me going but it’s an awful and unnatural thing . I would give everything up in a heartbeat to have him back . I know I’ll live the rest of my life with a piece of me missing . I do smile and I do laugh but the pain is always there . I have managed to do things I previously couldn’t do so that’s progress I think and I know he would want me to live my best life . I will miss and love him forever I wish you all well .
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Hi to all ,
It’s so hard, I find it incredible that whilst I was going through intense pain of loosing my son and still am , to read of others that have lost their children too, some of them similar ages and times In my normal life I feel so empty and alone so so sad I can’t see how that can ever change without my beautiful boy , I wish we had our children back I wish it were a nightmare and as it’s not it’s real life … i wish it wasn’t but I also wish we could all meet be together share our stories and take a very small amount of comfort, For we are such a minority of people in the world and in our normal lives it feels like a big empty hole
Hi @Jayne2
I wish we could meet up over coffee & maybe one day we will be able to. Where in the country are you? Have you had any information regarding what happened to your beloved son Matt? It’s so hard not knowing, we had to wait 9 weeks.
Where in the country are you @annemarie3 & @Beth2?
Sending love and strength to you all xx
I was surprised how many people had lost children the same age as my son or similar age. My son was 28 and had a bad stomach for a week before you died. It’s such a terrible shock and sometimes you feel you’re the only one who is going through this tragedy but this seems not to be so. We all seem to be in a club nobody wants to be in and hopefully love and support will get us through.
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Hi
I’m in Devon , bloody lockdown etc makes it all harder no support groups allowed face to face , counselling I enquired about was by telephone I’m still waiting for results my son died on the 13 th June we are still awaiting the inquest I’m so sad as you all are x
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Hi @Lizzyb
I’m so very sorry for your loss and like you so saddened that so many of us have lost our precious sons & daughters. So saddened by everyone’s losses, the pain, the anguish & despair we feel is a true reflection of the love we have for our loved ones.
12 weeks on & I desperately struggle to come to any peace or sense of why my precious son has gone. He was 22, nearly 23 & had his whole life ahead of him. Him & his brother were inseparable, my heart aches for my other son who is suffering so badly without his brother, if I could have my son back for him, I’d give myself if I could 
sudden arrhythmic death syndrome SADS is the cause & I’m trying to understand by reading up on it to maybe help me…I’m not sure but I’ll try anything. I’ve got some counselling lines up with my employer but they are limited so I feel as though seeking more may be a good thing so that I can offload my raw emotions to someone without worrying about upsetting my family. The flashbacks are horrendous & so difficult to live with.
Do you know what happened to your beloved son? We had to wait 9 weeks for the results of the post mortem
Sending love and strength xx
Morning @Jayne2
I am so sad & feel for you, the waiting without knowing just adds to our burden of our loss. I know it doesn’t change the outcome but I personally believe it is so important for us to know to hopefully help us somehow in our journey of grief. In our situation we are now waiting for a referral for specialist genetic heart testing which is so important in case of anything going on for my other son, husband or me. Again another wait adding to the burden. I understand things take time, it’s just so hard.
My once happy, complete, fun, vibrant home & world is so quiet, sad & bleak. I long for my precious son back
May we all have strength to get through another day of pain without our loved ones 
xx take care
I’m so sorry for your loss I know it’s unbearable at times . My son Jack had problems with his circulation, unfortunately he had two clots in his bowel which normally would move away with blood flow . This didn’t happen with Jack . He had a upset stomach for a week I wanted him to ring the doctor on the Friday but he said he would see what he was like the next day . That night he got worse so I called 999 . He then fitted and had a cardiac arrest. The clots cause tissue to die and then organs start shutting down . We had six paramedics trying to save him but he died by the time he got to hospital. He was such a happy , positive young man and I feel all the fun and laughter has gone from out lives . He would hate me being so sad and I’m trying to get there but it is so bloody hard . I’ve promised him I will though .
Hi. My son was 44 yr old.
He had struggled with mental health issues for twenty years, no one seemed to be able to help him…he was sectioned for five years, then thrown out t cope on his own in a flat 7 miles from me… I went every day took him out, helped clothe him, feed him, clean his flat, fight the services for him who were not interested in doing their jobs.then one day no one heard from him. The Carers ( I use the term loosely) used their key to get into his flat and they found him dead on his bed. We have a coroners enquiry in Jan 2021.
Beth. Xx
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@Lizzyb so very sad & traumatic for you all, how old are your other children? The trouble is that experiencing such terrible ordeals as we all have, our lives have changed beyond recognition. We have been thrown into this so unexpectedly & without choice. When I was 5 tragically my mum took her own life, then 4 months later my granny (her mum) took her own life, leaving me & my sister utterly shattered. Our parents had divorced and our dad had moved away for work opportunities however was still in our lives thank goodness. We both went to live with him & he brought us up. I feel so cheated not having my mum when I was growing up & have spent most of my life grieving & now losing my precious, fun, loving, caring beautiful boy I will continue to grieve for the rest of my life until my last breath at another level altogether
I endeavour every day to try & get better for my son who wouldn’t want me to go through life so sad but also for my other precious son who needs us more than he ever has.
Love & strength to you & everyone here xx
I’m I’m so sorry , it must be heartbreaking to see your son struggle for so many years and the system to fail him in such a manner. To lose him after 20 years of trying to save him must be horrendous and I hope you get all the answers you need to carry on and grieve properly. I send you nothing but love and best wishes.
@Beth2 as @Lizzyb says I’m so sorry you & your precious son suffered so much in life. It’s incredibly difficult & so emotional when someone you love so deeply is suffering & you can’t do anything to make it go away. The price we pay for love is so high, infact off the scale. Life is cruel and unfair. I know there is beauty in life as I’ve felt it, but at the moment my life is so very very dark & the one thing to make it beautiful again is to have my boy back, I literally can’t believe that he’s gone
So much sadness for everyone.
Take care, sending strength to us all as we navigate through another day without our beautiful loved ones xx
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Thank you so much for your kindness…
Beth xx
@Rach25you have suffered so much loss my heart goes out to you . I have a son of 32 and 26 and a daughter of 20 . Amazing people who keep me going . Jack was such a positive force we all feel we need to honour him in the same way but it’s much easier said than done .
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Thank goodness for our wonderful amazing other children, as you say a reason to still carry on. In addition having a wonderful husband, sister, wider family and friends who all keep me going. I’m grateful & blessed for them all. In addition the one thing I want…we all want are those we’ve lost xx
Yes my friends and family have been amazing . My daughter cooked every evening meal we had for months and did the weekly shop . My friends came with bags of food and we went for walks on the days actually I found it hard to move . They got me out . Works been very understanding so I do feel blessed . I had all this and didn’t realise . I’d give it all up to have Jack back , I know that probably sounds ungrateful but it’s not it’s the truth and anyone in my position would feel the same way . With love and support I’m hoping to get through this it’s not a given but I’m trying the best I can .
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